LOOK AT THIS GUY, THIS GUY RIGHT HERE! JUST LOOK AT HIM!
HE'S SO EXTREME HE'S PARACHUTING AND HIS FREAKING PARACHUTE IS ON FIRE! I BET THIS GUY RIGHT HERE IS SO AWESOME HE IS GOING TO PLUMMET MAJESTICALLY TO EARTH AND LAND RIGHT ON TOP OF A BEAR STRAPPED TO A LASER-EQUIPPED TIGER! THEN THIS GUY RIGHT HERE WILL RIDE THOSE BEASTS OFF OVER THE HORIZON AND INTO HISTORY - THAT'S JUST HOW MONUMENTALLY COOL THIS GUY RIGHT HERE IS.
But he's nowhere near as cool as you, so you have a wonderful birthday Dave!
