Here's a couple of morbid jokes:
Mummy, mummy, what's for dinner?
Shut up and get back into the microwave!
Mummy, mummy, but I don't want to see grandpa...
Shut up and keep digging!
Mummy, mummy, but I don't like grandma...
Well don't eat it then.
Mummy, mummy, but I don't want to go to England!
Shut up and keep swimming
Mummy, mummy, when are we going to kill grandpa?
Don't be foolis son, we already heve half of grandma in the freezer...
Mummy, mummy, why is daddy running around???
Shut up and help me load the gun...
Mummy, mummy, why can't I play with the other kids?
Shut up or I'll rip your other leg too!!!
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Cosmo Kramer: You know you're not supposed to brush your teeth for 24 hours before you go to the dentist.
Jerry Seinfeld: I think you're thinking of 'You're not supposed to eat 24 hours before surgery'.
Cosmo Kramer: Oh, you gotta eat before surgery. You need your strength.
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