Just a little article:
Dave's Not Here
"Straight from Abdhul Karishma Image Box Studios we present to you: BUZKASHI LEAGUE SPORTING EVENT! Greetings to all three Afghani television owners: Kareemfh, Mogkrimfh and Ohgjal. We have very exciting game for you this sun setting...."
Dave here for my third and final installment of my column. Today, I'm going to tell you about the best sport manifested from the mind of mankind. Buzkashi's the name, and uh, Buzkashi's the game. It's the charming national sport of a little country called Afghanistan. You may have heard of the place. Anyhow, I hope I've piqued your interest so far, as I intend to educate you in the ways of this lovable goat corpse flinging, opponent stabbing, spectator trampling past time.
Over here in the western world, we play our sports with various specially prepared pieces of equipment, such as baseballs, footballs, basketballs, ect. In Buzkashi, there is no game ball. Instead, the object passed around and thrown about is a dead goat. Yep, a freshly slaughtered baby goat. Now, the players (tons of them, believe me) are charged with the goal of riding on horseback, grabbing the dead goat, getting away from everyone else, dragging the goat around a flag and throwing it into a goal marked with a circle on the ground. It may sound simple, but keep in mind that the other players aren't going to just let you mosey away with their goat. Nope, infact, they'll try to kill you while you drag around the dead animal. The players, aside from large, infuriated horses, come equipped with whips and knives. These are used to motivate whoever currently is holding the dead goat to put it back down, and are used to good effect.
Death is not an uncommon occurance on the battlefield, er, the game court. Oh wait, no, sorry, I forgot. There is no game court, as there are no bounds to the playing field. Because of this, the excitement of the game is not only limited to the players, but the spectators, the neighbouring towns, and pretty much anyone else who gets in their way. In one account I perused, I learned about a game that ended in the players stampeding through the stands, causing the deaths of a few spectators, rampaging across the country side until they reached a small town which they then proceeded to smash through and trample to the ground. Villagers cheered them on in their noble quest for the dead goat, caught up in the nobility of the sport. They were left cheering for quite a while it would seem, as this game in particular lasted a total of three days. There is no time limit imposed on athletic heroism.
Such is the road to glory. Buzkashi, unfortunatly a sport not currently endorsed by the Nike corporation.
And in todays match; those wearing funny little hats versus others wearing funny little hats.