Forums

Forums (http://www.abandonia.com/vbullet/index.php)
-   Blah, blah, blah... (http://www.abandonia.com/vbullet/forumdisplay.php?f=14)
-   -   Anybody else find the Internet and life in general can be boring? (http://www.abandonia.com/vbullet/showthread.php?t=30427)

Hunter Hunted 20-05-2013 11:45 PM

Anybody else find the Internet and life in general can be boring?
 
My life since I left school has almost totally sucked. Forums don't enjoy my company too much. I lost my girlfriend in 2005, found her 7 years later and just got used for my money, which was my fault for being a tool who couldn't walk away. I also had deaths in my family. Also got diagnosed as having PDD-NOS etc.

Apart from forums, I also used to go on Gumtree and because there was so much crap on there, it was hard to find anything remotely worthy. All I wanted was to find a girl to date and then they all went venomous after initially appearing really nice. Even found them on curious websites in provocative poses. Fortunately, Meetup is way better than Gumtree, as it actually has real photos of its members and is easier to use.

I know one should try not to focus too much on the negative things in life, but I hated 2002 all the way up to now, with only a few note worthy things that were actually good about these years. When so much negativity builds and builds inside of your head, of course it will be hard not to let it consume you. Maybe it's because I'm lonely and I'm bored of everything that was once fun, but these days I wake up and wonder what the point is in being here. I've not got many friends around me. I know I'm intelligent and I deserve better, but I never can meet anybody who shares similar qualities.

I just think a lot of today's games, music and movies is crap. Like, I am a big fan of survival horror, but it ain't what it used to be. See Resident Evil 6, people.

Of course, that really has nothing to do with me as a person, but you know how it is with the media nowadays. I guess it's always been that way. Movies, games and music are meant to make money. Right? Sooner or later, they get altered so much, you stop being interested. Everyone has to face up to change.

I'd say more on these subjects, but I'm tired just now and it would probably start an argument, due to my bizarre writing style. Not only that, but I cannot get a girlfriend. I've not really tried very hard to find one as I have mild autism and I never really have anything to talk to anyone about, due to my fixed interests that others may know nothing about. I had one guy recently call "Australian Punk" niche. WTF? :no:

Having autism shouldn't stop me finding a girlfriend, but it does impact my thinking patterns. I've wasted so much money on escorts, because I cannot get it up with them. I realize I shouldn't really be mentioning that on forums, but whatever. I've wasted so much money. I'd be as well just giving it away to strangers I meet on the street. How is it any different?

I don't really know how to continue what I'm writing about without appearing weird or impolite, but I don't really like the Internet that much anymore. In fact, it is getting cancelled on 26 May.

Years ago, I got so much crap on forums from nasty folk and it was the same thing over and over again for years and years because I kept signing up more accounts and I didn't do a good job of hiding myself, so all my aliases were linked. They had banned me, flamed me so constantly and more. I also ended up with my own Encyclopedia Dramatica article eventually, too. It's far from what I wanted.

:palm:

Examples of a-holes online:

Here's a thread where I gave my opinions on why I didn't like the noughties decade. As in, I didn't like the years 2000 to 2009. It was solely my own POV on the matter. Some people actually gave sensible responses and I always thought that forums are supposed to be for discussing topics with a degree of civility for the other respondents. I'd mentioned things about the popular culture of the era from my own POV like I stated, although a lot of what I posted was quite personal too. Then some douche bag says it was a good thing my grandmother was dead so she wouldn't have to see what a failure I'd become (or something). I'm not sure what page that post is on, but the remark still is visible somewhere in this topic. I was Grace Saunders on Bloody-Disgusting.

Someone also said; "well, you do live in Scotland" - which had nothing to do with anything I was talking about.

http://bloody-disgusting.com/legacy/...ad.php?t=21568

Here is another example.

Having had many bad experiences with women I'd booked on a website for the purpose of, you know what, I came to a forum to talk about it at great lengths for potential advice on overcoming certain issues, which I received in a somewhat mixed manner. Again, the post was basically an opinion about what I didn't enjoy about this particular website I was talking about in my OP. Then some members saw it as an attack on women as a whole, calling me a certain 'M' word too. I'd tried to tell them I was no such thing, but it was like a greedy pack of rottweilers were more intent on ripping me to shreds than talking logical sense. Clearly, they didn't pay proper attention to what I was saying, so I ended up not entertaining them with decent replies. They called me contradictory for commenting on adultwork.com, when I tried telling them that I had to, because all the women I was talking about were from there.

http://adultworkforum.com/forum/thread-4090.html

A similar incident transpired on another forum. Once they gathered I wasn't a 'full shilling' of sorts, they decided to cut me some slack and be friendly. I've had good conversations with 'em ever since, but it just goes to show that you need to watch your tone around people who may see autism as aggression. :)

http://www.punternet.com/forum/index...-com-annoy-me/

Of course, if you've been a victim of online harassment and want it to stop, but don't have any legal understanding of how things work within the legal system in other countries, you will go ask "experts" for their help. Yes?

I went to one forum for advice. I wish I hadn't bothered. These scumbags were nothing more than obnoxious and unwilling to help.


http://www.expertlaw.com/forums/showthread.php?t=154176

I used to post on a Resident Evil fan site called Biohaze. Many of the members there knew me from related forums because I used an identifiable handle. For several years, I was regularly active there, but I was always getting flamed by some of the users who never fully accepted my presence.

The forums have a section for the Dino Crisis series, which I am particularly accustomed to, having once had a mini site about the saga. So anyway, no-one really gave a flying rat's behind about that section and it was largely neglected, so I would post in there from time to time, trying to keep things active, while also trying to promote my own site and message boards. But this moron named Stu would post personal attacks that weren't removed, resulting in my threads being locked.

This abuse went on for ages and nobody would do anything about it. I eventually got so sick of this BS that I went and contacted the host for Biohaze. This resulted in a backlash against me by its owner, although I hadn't done anything wrong. The admin ("Yama") deleted me at my request and said I could register again, but I've never gone back and posted - only browsed as a guest.

If you tell a bunch of people you hate that their site sucks and you won't return, but return anyway, that makes you look like a twat, so you need to show you're better than what they make you out to be and actually stay gone, for good.

http://www.biohaze.com/forums/viewtopic.php?p=106649

Then there's these idiots on ED. God, why can't they just let their awful site die? Oh, well actually, it did die once, but they quickly resurrected it...Swedish style!

https://encyclopediadramatica.se/Tal...new_girlfriend

http://encyclopediadramatica.se/Grace_Saunders

Anyone else had any awful experiences with people online and can explain how they dealt with them? It makes me glad that I'm moving on soon. People nowadays can be so mean and you wonder why you get picked on, and nobody else goes through what you are, so they appear to be largely unsympathetic. :headslap:

The Fifth Horseman 21-05-2013 04:27 AM

Humans are assholes, that's unfortunately normal. Can't ignore them or leave? Mock them. :)

Scatty 21-05-2013 10:14 AM

Three well-meant advises for you:

1. Don't let yourself be used. Have some dignity, and others will respect you, and you yourself, too.
1. Don't search for girls to date on curious websites in provocative poses. Either those websites want your money, or those girls do. Exceptions are exceptionally rare. Don't look for love interests on the internet. Find the girls you like where you live, trust me it's better.
2. Don't hang in at home with computer & internet much. Don't inclose yourself in your own inner world. Get out there, let those inferiority complexes and insecurities fall, together with all that "I'm intelligent" stuff too. Of course you are intelligent, but that's not the point, for no one - it is obvious enough. To do that is harder than it sounds, but certainly doable. Somewhere outside there you'll automatically meet a girl you like, also.
Life is as simple as you take it - like yourself and others will like you. Others like you and you like the life and make easily friends. Stop disliking yourself. Look around, there's lots of things that make fun. You just have to open your eyes and see them. Your life is your choice.

Tracker 21-05-2013 10:21 AM

I agree with Scatty especially regarding Internet relationships. They're all crap. Never try one. I've spent the last two years of my life in one and let me tell you it's all pointless, real girls are better because, you know, they're real. It's difficult to socialize with someone you only communicate with on the Internet. Go to concerts, museums, cinema, whatever, meet new people, make friends. Be friendly and the world will be friendly as well. :)

Lulu_Jane 21-05-2013 11:57 AM

The past is in the past, time to move forward :)

Are you seeing a therapist or seeing a health professional regularly? You sound kind of depressed, I would raise these issues with your doctor.

Good luck as of the 26th, it could be the start of something wonderful for you :)

RRS 21-05-2013 12:15 PM

All those generic good advices work poorly in specific cases. "Meet new happy people, yay!" doesn't fit introverts well, who get spent by interacting with people (it feels like a chore for them). You can't force yourself to like someone, just as "I command you to be spontaneous, right now!" doesn't work.

Hunter Hunted, you obviously surf the wrong side of the Internet. You claim you're intelligent while you waste your time on generic forums infested with "trolls". Try to find people with more refinement, they're rare, but they do exist out there. Fish them out and then maintain IM/email contact with them, time better spent than on a forum with a crowd of cretins.

Trust me, I know how it feels to be burned out. When your career and ambitions are in ruins, and life robbed you even from your hobbies... depression effectively killing any means to relieve stress.

Instead of wasting money on sluts, how about finding yourself a higher purpose? Something ambitious, that will require dedication, perhaps giving you that spark of energy? Be creative, write a book or something like that...

The Fifth Horseman 21-05-2013 07:10 PM

Quote:

Anyone else had any awful experiences with people online and can explain how they dealt with them?
By not dwelling on it too much. Instead of wasting my time of futile struggle against people who would never agree with (much less accept) me, I directed my efforts at working with people who shared my interests.
And yes, I said not dwelling on it. Learning to do that took away a lot of emotional baggage off my shoulders.

Hunter Hunted 22-05-2013 09:35 PM

Yeah. I've actually got a friend who is the same as I am. He has what one may refer to as being their associates, but he has no partner and no actual mates to go out with. Well, that's maybe not true at all, because he has me and there's everyone else in our stair who we can always invite out for a drink. He is more chatty than I am and he used to do karaoke, and pub crawls, but I think he quit that.

It was my suggestion that we go to meet-up groups and singles events to try and just get out there, basically. Why? Because if you sit on your rear end 24/7 trying in vain to chat up folk online, it gets you nowhere in the long run. I just don't think it's healthy being on the computer all the time and it probably doesn't bring you any closer to finding a potential girlfriend or mates, unless you are a stud, but sometimes, you need to get real. In fact, it depresses me if I go online just for the sake of having it there as an activity.

Dating sites are crap. Forums can be crap too unless there is something newish to talk about. Even watching videos can get boring, especially if you don't find anything new to get into. But sure, the net is a useful tool; Wikipedia, Asda shopping, DVDs, torrents, YouTube, Facebook, Reddit, etc, all at your fingertips. But who honestly cares about all this if you have nobody to share it with? They're supposed to be time killers, but you need to already have a life away from select hobbies that may turn into obsessions if you get too absorbed into them. As time goes by, you sort of wind up being bored of the luxuries. These days you don't really have much to look forward to. It's becoming so effortless. I just don't feel it's rewarding anymore. That's because, years ago when the Internet wasn't as widespread, you had to go out for everything, so when you finally found what you were looking for, it felt great because you did the work for it and that is something I miss a great deal in the technology age. In a way, I think I've finally reached the end of my tether with a lot of it.

The Internet isn't meant to be your life. If it is becoming your whole daily lifestyle, I'd say it's time to close the browser and make the necessary arrangements to get a real life. If you do the same stuff all the time routinely, as you surf the web all day, every day, you're wasting all your valuable time by focusing on all the unpractical things. Before you know it, 2 years turns to 4 years. 6 years turns to 8 years and it would just go from there. For me, my Internet tenure began in 2002. Most of the sites I loved are gone. Now it feels like it were all a waste. I'd really gained nothing from it, as there is nothing I can show for it.

My friend did 'pull a bird' as he put it. But I think his problem is that he just wants sex too badly and that can put some women off that may want an actual emotional connection with a bloke. After all, we humans as a species want both sex and an emotional bond. Girls don't always like men who just want their hole. They think you view them as a piece of meat and that once you've had your shag, old meat is used meat. Prostitutes are different, because they offer sexual services for payment, but it can be almost impossible to tell if they are being forced into it, lest they tell you.

My friend is usually a laid back guy on any subject, other than women. In that sector, he just needs to chill out, relax and not take it to heart if a girl doesn't want to advance things. He bragged to me afterwards about how he'd gotten laid. Then the next thing I know, he's been dumped and he's feeling bad and saying he'll kill himself over it. Well, I don't know what actually happened. I emailed her of my own accord out of curiosity to get her side of the story and she just mentioned having problems coping with his autism and her own condition, but she sounded like she just wanted some time out. Perhaps Scott (my mate) has made the situation sound bad because it didn't go the way he wanted it to.

He met his now ex through the same Meetup event I went to, for socializing with singles. He stayed the duration of the event, but I left early into things because there were hardly any women there when we arrived and nobody really made an effort to talk to me. Everybody was just chatting about random topics and when I tried to have a go at being social myself, they were just being sarcastic and one girl gave me funny looks. So I was like to hell with this and I left. Scott stayed, so that is how he got to meet Liz when she arrived later on. Even if it didn't work out in the end, he got a fortnight's worth of dating from it. After all the moaning he did beforehand about how he'd probably be wasting his time, he should thank his lucky stars he was giving the opportunity.

We cannot give up yet. Somewhere, there will be women who will want us for who we are. We've just got to track 'em down. ;)

Sorry if this post is "too long, didn't read" or anything. :hello:

Lulu_Jane 23-05-2013 10:37 AM

Stressing about finding a partner practically guarantees you won't find one - Relax, do things you enjoy, focus on being happy with yourself and the rest will fall into place :)

Hunter Hunted 25-05-2013 11:30 PM

I wouldn't say I stress over not having a partner, because it's one of those things that happens when you eventually meet someone. Of course, meeting people means working on your social skills and getting involved in interest groups you know you'll enjoy. There would be no point in joining a night club or something akin to one if what it was about was not to your personal tastes. That almost makes it sound like you just want to hang in with a crowd because everyone else is doing it. I've learned to go with the flow, be yourself and don't be a sheep.

One thing I haven't done a great deal is talk to folk face to face. I've mainly just interacted with people online. The net is different than the real world, cos you are usually just typing out messages and awaiting a reply. They normally wouldn't see your face, unless you had a camera on. It's important to overcome this anxiety and I'd say it's heaps better knowing 'real' people. Not that online people are not real, but you would most likely never meet a majority of the people you speak to online.

RRS 26-05-2013 12:31 AM

Yet perhaps you could meet online buddy who lives nearby, for starters?

Hunter Hunted 26-05-2013 01:27 PM

I'm from Edinburgh. Business never lets up. Surely, there must be someone. :max:

Capo 26-05-2013 04:35 PM

Just play videogames and get drunk with friends on saturday night, you will be fine

Hunter Hunted 26-05-2013 09:48 PM

Or, download retro classics from Abandonia + don't forget to donate as a thank you. :max:

StaaViinsZ 12-09-2013 08:12 AM

Hmm...
 
I would recommend Reading the Bible, going to church, and getting involved in a church. I would also recommend believing and saying this prayer if you want to be Born Again in Christ.

"Dear God, my life hasn't been so good. I am truly lost. I wonder about the meaning of life. I need a purpose. I want to believe in you. I ask for forgiveness as I fully acknowledge the wrongs I have done. I believe that Jesus was the Son of God died for me on the cross, to save me and the whole world from darkness."

Then find a church (I recommend non-denominational) to go to and go and participate with activities. If you believe that Jesus died for you, ask a elder to be baptized.

Good things to do afterwards:

Pray constantly

Read the Bible

Attempt to change any life style elements you feel need to be or the Bible says needs to be changed

Date Christian Women

Pray for others with problems and that they might come to know Him


If you believe Jesus was the Son of God, you will be saved.

I do not wish to be mocked or such... but He is the way.

I hope, one day, you will come to know him and his eternal peace.

Sincerely, Steve.

Hunter Hunted 20-11-2013 12:36 AM

Well, guess what happened to me this year? I got used! :picard:

Actually, it's my own fault that that Laura loser used me, for I kept on being a wimp. She's the only girlfriend I've ever had. I never saw her for nearly 7 years and I busted my ass to find her, only to get used and bullied. At 27 years of age, how can one really be bullied by a cow, you say? Well, it still occurs. In my case, I was sort of smitten for her. Sad as that sounds.

Read on:

http://www.relationshiptalk.net/how-...er-426756.html

http://www.asd-forum.org.uk/forum/in...s-gold-digger/

It's also too bad that there are rules to follow regarding dating your support workers, too. Like nobody can date their carers and they're my whole life, it seems. My Spanish key worker is beautiful, but when hell freezes over, she'll date me. But only when hell has frozen over. Now, I don't socialize outside at all. It's hard enough when you are 'normal' and capable trying to mingle with folk that are total strangers, but chuck in a disability and average looks, and in today's world, you will amount to nothing. Sure, self-worth, confidence, blah, blah, blah. Does that even help?

I haven't the foggiest idea where to start looking for friends, but I know that dating support people isn't allowed at all. It's a law made to protect vulnerable clients from committing unprofessional conduct and vice versa. Actually, I could go out if I wanted to. After all, I'm a free man. But my anxiety gets in the way. You know how when your personal space is being invaded, you get those burning hot flushes and feel like you need to run the heck away. That in my case just increases my nervousness and could bring forth a panic attack. So you get trapped in that cycle of hiding in the shadows.

You see, years ago, I never suffered from anxiety and I was keen to do things. Then a lot of personal stuff happened that messed me up inside, so I started living in the past over it and thinking I'd never be able to do anything. I still kind of feel this way. Like every year, it just really sucks, so I want to rush all the months away until the new year starts. Then I often get OCD like mixed feelings, because if January is awful, I end up assuming every other month will turn out poorly too. It usually does anyway.

That's why I spend my ENTIRE free time on the Internet instead, but even that creates issues. I'm really unsure of how to act around new faces or what things to talk about in real-life and even when I go online. So because I got angry over my life sucking and I posted a photo of this Joanna person on Facebook in a rage, she's been taken off my (already relatively short) support team by her bosses.

You see, I used to work with MANY support workers, but it got to a point where there was too many people around the office next door to where I am situated, so everybody was moved into teams to make their work more manageable. Now it's like this: Musselburgh, Melville, Blackfriars and Holy Corner. I'm in the smallest team, which is Blackfriars, because it's where I stay. The people in the other teams just work in those areas now, so I really miss having them for support shifts. The only time I see them is if I go next door to ask about something and some of these workers happen to be there, but usually it's just a quick hi then bye, as everyone is so busy and waiting to use a computer.

I basically get several allocated hours every week for to tidy up my house, cook meals and do fun stuff with support workers, but I miss the people I worked with before. I just get 'Blackfriars' staff now.

Anyway, because I have autism, I live in a flat which has other autistic people. It's independent living with support people working next door and somebody does a sleep over each day. I'm upset that they took that girl off my team and they used to think I fancied this Ruth chick too. Well, she was hot.

The Fifth Horseman 20-11-2013 06:46 AM

There's a reason for the regulations that forbid support workers from relationships with their charges, and it's meant for both sides' safety.

Your ex is a different matter, and the problem isn't as much with her as with you.
From your description, her behavior was abusive, but the overall impression I get is that she didn't want to just tell you "no" and everything after that was intended to make you decide to break up with her and leave her alone. Likely that was what her (step?)father referred to when he asked if you were deaf and blind - as in, whether you were actually paying any attention to what was happening around you.

Hunter Hunted 20-11-2013 10:49 AM

Oh, I don't think his remark had anything to do with me being with Laura. In fact, that was just the first day I met him when he said that comment.

She was having a shower and he invited me into their living room to talk to him while Laura was in the bathroom. After that, he was drinking and told me the guy sleeping on the coach next to him and Laura's mother was going to jail for drink driving. At that point, I felt really uncomfortable. I moved off the couch and sat on the floor but just talked about bands I knew. After I told him we were going to see Scott, my pal, he asked for his number. I said no, he doesn't know you. He kept it up. Eventually his manner got to me so I asked him to cool it. He said F-U and so I said to repeat it, then he asked if I was deaf as well as blind because I wear glasses. So every time I would go to their stair and press the buzzer when Laura and I were on bad terms, he'd threaten to break my glasses.

Well, I do agree that dating support workers creates problems, but I feel like a desperate man now. My only true mate is 52 and he and I just play pool and occasionally go cycling together. That's all.

marko river 20-11-2013 01:30 PM

Skipping personal part of topic - I agree that movies, games, music, whatever today is mostly crap. I also think that it was always like that and always will be like that. No point in glorifying or romanticizing something.

My opinions on art:
There were lot of crappy games in last century, crappy music, even that old famous Hollywood movies from black&white era were mostly nothing but simple happy ending bedtime stories with good looking actors that are interesting when you first meet them and dull you totally if you stick with them. I believe that it was same centuries ago, well no games or movies, but books, poems, paintings, music etc. The only difference is that only small portion of old staff is preserved in memories (or school books). There are surely some good things that are forgotten and overlooked, some not so good got preserved, but most of crap is ignored and quality things are still mentioned. Beatles were such a huge at the time, I doubt most of kids nowadays know their songs, listening to Beyonce and Eminem. Future brings same, new music, new movies, and some remnants from the past. You really think that future kids will want to play entire Call of Duty series with modern games of their time? Only some of them will play something old and will choose something that is still mentioned, and that will unlikely be "several first parts of some great series".

That is not totally bad thing, as people want something, and you can't simply give them few good books that passed the test of worthiness. They need lot of entertainment. That inevitably leads to bad part, with people entertaining themselves instead of developing themselves.

Games:
After this philosophy, a practical part that I wanted to say in the first place.

It is very likely that you find everything meaningless because you have more important problems. You probably can't eternally enjoy games when something else is troubling you. I see your activity on forums and escort girls as good thing - you are doing something. It takes a while before you get to the right track, it is same for everyone, only the required time is different, but you can't complain about the cards you got, you just need to play the hand. There are good games getting published (well, being released in some way), but it is harder to find them. It will get easier when you know how to look for them.

If you want to entertain yourself with game, look for what you need. If you are occupied with some other problem, no game will be good enough. But if you wanna play the games, there are options. After all, there is internet today which allows you to, for instance, visit abandonia and download old games you like. There is no way you already play all the games you will like, and new ones are coming out constantly. Not in big numbers, but are coming out. Check kickstarter or similar places from time to time, check non-PC sites for some old goodies, read reviews and comments about new movies and games.

For example, I was amazed with Braid and Portal. Those are not only newer games that I liked, but I point them out for a reason. Braid is old 2D style logical-platformer, but new possibilities with new computers and programming languages were used to develop a new concept of playing, new gamplay that makes even the old 2D game popular and modern. Portal is game with modern 3D graphics and everything, but those new modern engines made possible to create a new kind of gameplay that wasn't possible before. I like Half-Life, it is among best FPS with many interesting things despite it is still FPS, but it is still FPS. Portal on the other hand showed that modern staff doesn't necessarily need to fall into mainstream, but risk with something new. I was literary happy, not glad that good game is out, but happy because something new and beautiful can still be made, and probably will be made in future.

There will still be good games coming out. Simply because there are still people that care to make them. Most of them won't succeed, but some surely will.

My suggestions to you - if you like survival horror, then I hope you heard of Amnesia - Dark Descent. Recently, I discovered Project Zomboid. It is still buggy, but hey, you don't get many games like that anyway.

Personal part:
Speaking of reviews, I actually got hooked on reviewing games at one point, mostly because I felt useful. That is always helpful, even though loneliness was my major problem back then. It is definitely helpful to feel better about yourself. Anyway, somebody said that you should find a "higher purpose". Reviewing was mine - media will always be swamped with modern stuff, I felt I should at least leave a pointer to something good or bad, for someone with similar interests.

The review I would point out is for the game Terry's Big Adventure on lemon64. I usually didn't like platformer games very much, but there are always exceptions. I'm not mentioning that review because of its quality (don't know is it creative or what) but because it is largely overlooked game I personally find even better than Mario Bros. So, when someone with C64 nostalgia sees it, he may try something he didn't play before on this old computer and actually have some fun. I even got in touch with creator of the game who was happy to find out that someone actually enjoyed the game.

I'm not saying you should become reviewer, it was just mine cup of tea. After all, I also largely dislike modern path of games development, so I decided to do something about it, a little part as it can be, with reviewing old games on a new site. Reviewing both good and bad games (IMO off course), but it is better than doing nothing about it. Naturally, we are not all supposed to review old games, but find there is surely something that moves you. In a way it is creating/finding new hobby that is helpful to you.

Oh, and do smack yourself in your face, very hard, and as many times as possible. It worked for me. I wasn't that closed, but had some issues. The only thing to solve them, no matter how stupid this sound, is to solve them and not think about them, although you always spend time thinking about it. Face them without planning or trying to face it successfully. Because you can't be successful before you know what to do, it doesn't make sense. You have problem with communicating face to face, then do it. Don't hope or worry that will it turn out OK, because it won't. Ask yourself what are the consequences that you have to bare with when it turns out bad. I actually think that you will get to realization that it is already bad because you already have a problem that is lasting, so no consequences are worse than that, since they are temporary. And then do it again. Make a fool of yourself or weirdo or whatever... after you do it 100 times it will start bothering you less and less, which results in you being more relaxed. And I doubt you will need 100 times, probably much much less :)

Could be I'm wrong, it worked for my issues. One silly example is that I from time to time stand near the edge, because I fear of heights. I'm not scared of planes, but scared of being near the edge at some high place, like window on 20th floor. So I do it. It bothers me, I stop after few minutes, but I feel better about myself. This is just a stupid example, since it is not really a problem, but I tried something similar with other things. I faced/opposed some people and was scared of outcome, but naturally it didn't result in 3rd world war but only in uncomfortable situation. After few times, I was less scared and more focused on what I'm trying to do. Naturally, don't overdo it, like having a fight, grabbing girl's bottom or something like that - I don't think you will create small disaster trying to face your fears, but just needed to say it.

Perhaps I didn't grasped your situation well, perhaps I'm all wrong here, but it is also possible it might help. I can't give you solution, you need to find it yourself, I can only say what worked for me and hopefully you will manage to extract something and turn it into something useful. If not, then just move over these suggestions.

Lulu_Jane 20-11-2013 02:42 PM

To make friends and meet people you need to put yourself in a situation where people are :)

Sites like http://www.meetup.com/ are a great place to find groups of people who share common interests to you.

Hunter Hunted 20-11-2013 10:41 PM

Well, Lulu, I don't like heights either. I've never flown. Could you catch me boarding a plane? No Sir, or Madam! You'd have to paint all the windows black and assure me this flight would be a relatively short one because I'd be petrified.

It's weird because I used to enjoy walking up high hills when I was a kid with my father. In Edinburgh where I live, there's a famous extinct volcano trail called Arthur's Seat in Holyrood Park that allows for great views of the city from the summit, or you can go round the radical road below the crags. Calton Hill is also very popular and it's got this Greek style monument that was only partially completed so it got labeled Edinburgh's Disgrace. I just remembered I added that as my location. It's not where I live. We say all the queers go up there, which they do. It's kind of notorious, you might say. But you don't actually have to walk up a hill as there are steps.

I was actually scared of this aqueduct along a canal in my city until quite recently, because it's quite high up off the street. There's a part of it where you can see the city bypass below and you can cycle across it, as it's wide enough, but obviously there's water between it. Well, I did actually cycle across it on my bike with my mate one day twice going to and from Ratho and I didn't feel very scared, because I think when you exercise hard, your body releases endorphins which makes you feel temporarily invincible. So maybe my ill-feelings in general could be due to not only boredom and depression, but also due to not being physically active enough. Fresh air really is beneficial.

And about games, etc: I do agree that they go downhill after so many years. Franchises basically get milked for the money and Resident Evil is one of the badly milked series today. It started off a pretty solid saga back in the day. Like it was really cool from 1998 to 2005. Resident Evil 4 was quite amazing in the day, but it just smells of 'selling out' now. Resident Evil games nowadays are basically the same thing as COD, more or less. I just don't find them scary anymore. I mean, in teams you don't get afraid because you know you have other players watching your back and the whole game is pretty much linear, unlike the old ones where they deliberately made you look for keys and waste time doing side tasks. Now it's just repetitive shoot-outs, which is awfully boring and clearly done to cash-in on the success of other contemporary action titles. That, plus they seem to just introduce random characters on the fly. Hey! Sherry's in, as she's the daughter of William Birkin, Wesker's partner behind the scenes, we'll throw in Jake, his mysterious never-seen-before son, even though it'll make no bloody sense whatsoever and fans will still buy it regardless. Right, Shinji. Who's up for some coffee?

Yeah; I have Capcom all worked out, pretty much.

LilSpoopyKrissy 15-07-2016 12:52 AM

Don't let it get to you. If they meet you in real life, or knew you, they would probably be too much of a coward to say so. Or maybe their having a rough time to, and this i how they make themselves feel better. I'm not saying that makes it okay to be cruel to others online though.

To be completely honest, although most of my childhood was from 2000-2008, it wasn't really something to write home about. I didn't have a lot of real "friends". I was a gullible child i'm still kinda gullible though , and i tried to hang out with the guys because their type of play was more fun and enjoyable to me that what the girls did. I wanted to jump around and play dumb games with the guys. But they used me to get a quick giggle. I didn't realize it at the time. I wasn't their friend. I was just there to give them entertainment.

Like I said, at the time I didn't realize. So it felt normal at the time.
Until 2009 when my dad left for Iraq to help build some bases, and my 4th Grade teacher said some things that made alot of the parents wonder how she was even a teacher. But in all of that, I found my passion.

Out of all the extreamly bad things that happened, there was (at least) one extremely GOOD thing.

After that, I've had more "realistic" friendships, but I still have trouble believing that their not using me to get a quick giggle. Or that I might end up making them hate me.

Now about of today's "quality" of art, I have to somewhat agree but disagree. Music wise, my favorite band just released an album after a 4 year hiatus. Plus there are some pretty good Vocaloid songs that often go undiscovered but not necessarily unsubtitled if you dig deep enough.
Now as far as games, I'm rather picky in the games I decide to play. I love alot of Jhorror type games that I'm able to access (I just got my first play station last year), the type of games that Obscure Horror Corner used to play before they decided to play Sad Satan (such a shame).

As far as reviews... I'm kinda inexperience when trying to find the good things and bad things in a game. To me, every game has its own "feeling" to it. Say for example Undertale has its own feeling. That feeling isn't the same as Misao or other rpgs like it. But if a game has a feeling that is mostly the same to other games, than it's kinda hard for me to get into it as much. Its hard to explain this without sounding crazy.

jebac 21-10-2016 01:34 PM

I have a thought I wanted to share... Its funny how we people like to have company of other people but at the same time want to be alone and away from all the human madness.

Smiling Spectre 21-10-2016 01:41 PM

It's normal for us, introverts. People rarely understood you without plain expression of your thoughts, and in real meetings this "plain expression" often looks silly or unnatural. Internet (or any texting service) is lacking this shortcomings. :)

Tseki 17-03-2017 02:59 PM

All the best to you :OK:

MrThrall 03-05-2017 06:42 PM

wow, and i thought i was treated like absolute crap (trying not to swear as i dont know how the forums and admins handle swearing)

i have (or had) people on my YouTube constantly harassing me in the comments, calling me a beaver because i have buck teeth, calling my house a crack house, making sexual references towards my mom, and i've even had to BLOCK certain users for making references to RAPING ME... so yea, you're not alone, and if this is still happening, take matters into your own hands and block them out.

Mystvan 07-05-2017 11:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MrThrall (Post 467666)
wow, and i thought i was treated like absolute crap (trying not to swear as i dont know how the forums and admins handle swearing)

i have (or had) people on my YouTube constantly harassing me in the comments, calling me a beaver because i have buck teeth, calling my house a crack house, making sexual references towards my mom, and i've even had to BLOCK certain users for making references to RAPING ME... so yea, you're not alone, and if this is still happening, take matters into your own hands and block them out.

Any form of bullying is painful and everyone tries to endure it as much as possible.

I was bullying during my childhood, but I kept quiet. During adolescence and adulthood, I end up counterattacking through jokes, mischief, ironies or “caring” gestures.

I have already faced many cowards who tried to make fun of me by car or on streets. These cowards never acted alone, and even though I was alone, I would stare and speak roughly and aggressively, but it never resulted in a (physical) fight.

In your case, the best way is to avoid exposing too much personal information on the internet. YouTube fails to have serious moderators and has every comment of inappropriate content that if it were in Forums, the offender would be banned. In addition to inappropriate content videos. It is a shame, Google. You, Google, try to get our information, but it does not prevent the dissemination of content of racial, religious, social hatred, etc. on Youtube? Tsk tsk tsk.

Another way to act is to show firmness and respond to the malicious comments with firm tone and showing that the attitude of the offender is being very childish, immature and who is stupid, silly is not you but him. He is a real comedy and clown. If you personally know these people, report to the teacher, boss, authority that you are being bullied and being threatened.

And unfortunately, I have come to know in person people who are victims of bullying become socially phobics or schizophrenic. Victims of rape and kidnapping also experience paranoia.

Eskild2001 09-05-2017 07:29 PM

Really inspiring to hear how you guys deal with each and one of your challenges! Keep it up. I think it's important to try to remember that no-one can really hurt you - unless you allow them to...:OK:

Hunter Hunted 13-05-2017 09:44 AM

I'm still trying to get a video removed on YouTube that links to Encyclopedia Dramatica, some 6 years after this airhead posted it. That website is stupid and sick.


The current time is 02:40 PM (GMT)

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.1
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.