ok, what happens is the first person makes a wish, then the next person corrupts said wish and makes another wish

ex

"I wish for a puppy"
"Granted, but it pees on your carpet. I wish to be the smartest man on earth."
"Granted, but..."
and so an and so on

Ill start:

I wish i ruled the world.

Granted. here's an unmarked ruler.

I wish I had superpowers

Granted; you can now make toy poodles blink on command.

I wish I could fly.

Granted, you are now a fly ready to be eaten by a chameleon.

I wish I ACTUALLY have a spaceship. ^_^

Granted, you're aboard a Borg Cube.

I wish you were here.

Granted, You're assimilated to the Borg.
Resistance IS futile!!

I wish for lot's of money.

Sure, here's one billion deutsch marks for you.

I wish for a non fattening, cheap, tasty, healthy hamburger delivered to me in bed by a hot chick by which I mean a girl not a chicken.

Ok, but before you get your hands on anything the universe collapses in on itself in a spectacular implosion.

I wish for world peace.

And so indeed the world of Gragnar in Andromeda galaxy is peaceful.

I wish for bad things to happen.

Granted, no wish for you.

I wish for an unlimited supply of burgers

You are crushed under a mound of Zebloogian Wormburgers. All several years past their expiry date.

I wish some n00bs actually read the FAQs.

Granted, they read the FAQs but still don't get it.

I wish for a beer.

Granted. A bottle of beer appears in thin air and crashes on the pavement.

I wish Hitler has never lived.

Granted, instead the nazi dictator was called Pitler.

I wish for a role of toilet paper.

Granted, you're now a toilet paper mummy in the next B-movie.

I wish for a better OS for my brain.
(SO NO WINDOWS!!)

Granted. You now have the OS of an Oric-1

I wish I was a wizard.

Granted, you are a bathroom cleaning wizard, use your skills as you see it fit.

I wish I was a lemur.

Granted, but because of deforestation you have no place to live.

I wish to know everything about Linux.

Granted, you now have no social life.

I wish my burps would be louder.

Granted, but your farts are louder too.

I wish i live next to an anime store.

Granted, but it only holds tentacle hentai.

I wish I had as much real money as I have thoth money.

Granted, your thoth account is being deleted as we speak!

I wish I teach different classes!

granted, but its a special ed class...

I wish abandonia will last forever!

Granted, but ESA will protect all the games and the forums will be open only to cash donators who payed over $50 weekly.

I wish I could play the perfect computer game.

You play it too much and you die

I wish my wish wasn't been corrupted

Granted, but you spoke in the past tense (well, sorta) and have not previously made a wish...so you get nothing.

I wish that the word "webinar" had never been invented.

Granted, but you missed the meeting and is unaware of it, so you'll keep using it while everybody else think you're strange.

I wish I was flat broke

You are flat broke and has no insurance!

I wish, I wish I has a dish!

here's a shitdish.

I wish that Himmler made a wish :)

Granted, but it's a secret wish so you can't corrupt it.

I wish I knew what Himmler's wish was.

Now you do, and you immediately wish you didn't :D

I wish for corn-free ice-cream...

Granted, you will instead get corn chewing gum, corn candybars, corn beer, corn coffee and corn flavoured cigarettes

I wish the Sex Pistols would finally realize they should stay in their graves

OK, they get amplifiers and instruments to play in their crypt and the speakers are above the ground. Simoultanously the playing is recorded and shipped!


I wish for a world with no need for money.

Ok, but then the world descends into a post-apocalyptic nightmare where only the strongest can get what they need, and everyone else starves.

I wish for a sunny day

You're moved to the middle of Sahara with no water on you and ove hundrets of kilometers away from any signs of life.

I wish I had a wish fulfilling genie.

Granted, unfortunately, it's heavy on the bottle

I wish for a bright future for one and all

Granted, the sun will bloat and transform into a red giant, that'll truely be bright.


I wish for uncomplicated software, easy to use.

Granted, all the software you need to get the job done has now turned into "Hello World"s

I wish I knew how to write computer programs

Granted, you can now write the names of all computer programes ever made, but still can't programe yourself.

I wish I had better money collecting skills.

Granted, and they'll give you life in prison

I wish I could transport myself instantaniously to any place of choise

Granted, but then you wonder what mars would be like, and suffocate from lack of oxygen.

I wish to be Queen of Universe...

granted you.. um. you are the queen of the universe! yeah. aaa um. BIG universe. its so HUGE and difficult to control um..

i wish i didn't screw this post

Granted, you screwed yourself

I wish for a big balloon

Sure: A put the balloon is too big and and because youre tied into it, you fly sky high and the balloon explodes.....

I wish I had a my very own McDonalds

You promptly have a heart attack.

I wish I had a motorcycle.

Granted, you now have a motercycle... *steals*

I wish that i had access to all erotic paysites in this world

Granted, your PC is now filled with spyware.

I wish I had access to all the classiffied documents in pentagon.

Granted. Now all you have to do is to escape trought the window, because FBI and CIA are on your tail right now.

I wish I had a nymph.

Granted, too bad you're impotent.

I wish I lost all my money.

Granted. Expect a call from the mob, wondering when you'll pay them.

I wish you a merry christmas

And I'm an atheist, so I take that as an insult.

I wish you good bye!

Granted.
I happily leave your company having set you aflame

I wish I had a fire extinguisher :cry:

Granted.
A fire extinguisher appears in your lung.

I wish I had a really good cough sirup (and that you'd finally make a wish yourself).

Granted, you had, but chumloofah wished you spilt it in your pc tower.

I wish they never made Jaws II, III and IV

Granted, btu you don't fear sharks now, so next time you go for a casual swim in the ocean (which you regulary will do every second day) you'll get eaten by the great white shark.

I wish they'd make Ghostbusters III: Hellbent!

Granted, but it will be even worse than it's prequels.

I wish I knew the past.

Granted, but you have no idea about your present

I wish I never made this wish

Granted, you are banned and your post has been deleted

"I wish I had an angel"

Granted, except I misheard you and now you have a protractor.

I wish for a turkey sandwich on rye bread with lettuce and mustard AND I don't want any zombie turkey, I don't want to turn into a turkey myself and I don't any other weird surprises, you got it?

Granted, you got the cold turkey sandwich and you turned into a chicken vindaloo, naturally.

I wish I knew how to play a banjo

Granted, but now you've turned into that kid from Deliverance.


I wish you a happy voyage to the future endevaours of life.

Granted, *I* will have happy voyages, whereas YOU will participace in a huge highway pileup with your car as a base...under a 18wheeler hauling petrol...(ouch!)

I wish Tulac never made that wish, so I didn't have to kill him

Granted! Tulac, grateful for your having saved him from immolation, kisses you full on the mouth. There's tongue. And he's been into the lutefisk again.

I wish it was time to go home.

(@FPJ: GNAAAARGH)

Granted, it is time for you to go home, so you leave the island of Abandonia, never to return again. YOU ARE BANNED! Bon voyage!

I wish I would be more compassionate.

Granted! You are now the most compassionate person who ever lived. Unfortunately, you can't stop weeping over the countless trillions of bacteria that are needlessly slaughtered every day.

I wish I liked autumn more.

Granted, but you moved to the North Pole so you can't enjoy it.

I wish you all the best!

Granted, we get all the best from everything there is...whereas YOU, while under the car pile up soaking in gasoline, a lightning strikes you while a meteor is crashing down, just after you drown in your own blood because the steering weel went through your chest because the seat squashed you onto the dashboard...all in flames...(again: ouch!)

I wish Tulac to live long a prosper...despite this game made me kill him even more ^_^

Granted, Tulac has a long and prosperous life, and you die lonely and alone in about 6 months from now.

I wish for a nice piece of cheese.

There you go! A very molty piece of cheese. Probably too dangerous to eat.


I wish I would be a wrestler.

EDIT: @Lulu: Ouch!

Congratulations! You are now Chris Benoit.


I wish I could speak foreign languages better



EDIT: Ok, I had a little think, and thought I should say sorry, that's a tasteless joke about Benoit. sorry darl :)

Granted you know alomost every language there is but you can't make out who speaks what tongue. So you'll end up running from person to person talking to them in foreign sounds and they'll all wander off shaking their heads.


I wish my boss wouldn't be such a moron.

Granted. Now your boss is so smart, that he can build robots to do all his work for free. He has no use for you, so he fires you.


I wish I could go to Japan.

Granted, I'll order you the whole package with tickets... to pukkake show!

I wish I could go to japan too. :(

then get a great job, make Looots of money :w00t: and commit harakiri cause of the overload

i wish i could make a loots of money without harakiri

Granted. Youre now a male prostitute.


I wish I would own a copy of "No One Lives Forever".

*a sound of shot from desert eagle fills the room as the dark red blood fills floor pouring down from chosens hole in his forhead* no one lives forever

i wish i had a hankerchief

Granted. Youre now choking on a hankerchief which I pushed down your throath.


I wish there would be a more social-based MMORPG.

Granted, but now you slowly wither away for years in front of the computer screen playing it.


<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Morrin @ Sep 19 2007, 08 :55 AM) [snapback]311755[/snapback]</div>I really wish that I didn't know that Morrin actually meant "bukkake" :(

Granted you're now getting your mind erased like in "One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest". :tai:


I wish Lulu hadn't screwed her previous post.

Granted. I went back in time and killed Lulu before she made the message. Therefore, her screwed post no longer exists!

I wish I had a sexy, intelligent, funny red-head as a girlfriend.

Granted she's an oppressing bitch that is cheating on you on top of everything.

NOOOOO! NOT LULUUUU!!!! I WILL HAVE REVENGE!!!! :titan:


I wish more girls would be interested in sports and computer and stay female, kind and attractive. And be non-feministic.

Your wish is granted, however, you will wake up tomorrow and suddenly realize you are gay :)

I wish my browser was working properly (sorry for the messed up post)

Granted, but now they have blocked every site, everywhere

I wish I had a clever wish that could not possibly be screwed up by 10-thumbs genies

Granted. However, your wish was so absurb that it blows your head off.


I wish my friend lived on my block.

Granted, but it's 15-floor block without elevator, which in Your friend live on last floor and You live on first.


I wish i can speak French.

Granted, but you now can only say "omlette du fromage", nothing else, ever.

I wish the next post would totally redicule my wish and totally annihilate it.

Granted.
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE("Playbahnosh")</div>Rediculous wish.

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE("Sebatianos)</div>Granted.
I pay attention to the thread and read the first post.

I wish to own my own gun

Granted. Now the burglar is fireing at you with your own gun.

I wish there were no guns

Granted.
All the guns are, at the behest of the US military, melted down and used in the construction of several hundred atomic bombs and immediately launched at Iraq.
They miss the target and destroy every friendly civilian on earth.

You forgot to make a wish dude ;)

No matter, I make one for ya.

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(chumloofah @ Sep 19 2007, 06:49 PM) [snapback]311870[/snapback]</div>Granted, the a-bombs are not real, infact they are all made of choclate, so now every friendly civilian on earth is covered in choclate now.

I wish this day never existed...

Granted.
The week has, since the dawn of time, been 6 days, God never got his day off and, in his bitterness, spends every moment of every hectic work day making the lives of his creations as miserable as divinely possible.

I wish that internetters and texters would all use proper grammar.

Granted, proper grammar is now A0l sp34k.

I wish that there would be less fanatics on the world.

Granted, you are now an anti-fanatic fanatic, the only fanatic left, scorned by everyone.

I wish there was more sillyness in this world

Granted, now you wish another wish and wish it wishily, so your wishy wish would wish a wish of it's wishy washy own wishingly full wish.

Wish a wish?

Granted! *show tune*"CONGRATULATIONS, your wish come true. And your prise iiiiiiis...A WISH! *wild applause* Yeeeeah. It's tax free, and all yours. Now just one more thing you have to do before you recieve you FREE wish *oooooooh*..." ...and I think you know the lines :sneaky: 90's game shows and popup-ads style :devil:

I wish _r.u.s.s. would be my friend again :unsure:

Your wish is granted, now you are really good friends, and we are all invited to the wedding in December. Hurrah! :)

I wish I had three lungs.

Granted, but then YOU GOT BREAST CANCER :l

I wish that i didn't need to go to school so early in the morning.

For some reason I found that capitalization really creepy....

Anyway, granted, now you sleep forever.

I wish that I could change the past.

Granted. The past has been changed so that you no longer exists!


I wish I had idea for school art report...

Granted. You have an idea and you make it happen. Nobody likes it and people are laughing at you for it.


I wish it was easier to choose the proper hardware for each purpose.

Granted. You now have a rubber hammer for rubber nails.


I wish that all my wishes will come true.

Granted. Your wished are fulfilled by the Devil himself so he screws your wishes in his personal sick way like in "Bedazzled".


I wish upon a star!

Granted, but now everybody knows who your favorite gay porn star is!

I wish you'd make a more chalenging wish to corrupt.

He did, and you failed to currupt it.

I wish that the english alphabet had the lettera 'Ø, Æ, Å' in it.

Granted, as well as every other symbol ever concieved by humanity, leaving you with a mess of an alphabet.

I wish there were no health issues involved in smoking

Granted. Now cigarettes are valuable if you want to live and since there are lots of people who dont smoke, you have just killed half the population of the earth.

I wish I had The Lost Boys DVD.

Granted, but there is a huge scratch on it.


I wish i could give up smoking... :(

Granted, after the upcoming parachute accident you'll never smoke again.

I wish I had a DC-3 and knew how to fly it

Granted, you are now a kamikaze pilot in the upcoming 3rd World War.

I wish for a much better stereo system.

Granted, you get a NASA model stereo, that unfortunatly gains self-consciusness and takes over the world.

I wish I was healthy again after (now) being ill for years.

Granted, but your insurence expired and you'll get an astronomical medical bill tomorrow.

I wish I'd travell to Jupiter even if I'd die.

Granted, you are severly crippled from radiation and live a long life in excruciating agony.

I wish for peace on earth, no more war or starvation, food and water for all, and a new softgun and cobat gear for xmas.

Sure thing, as soon as all the humanity dies and the super smart ants start playing with your xmas gifts.

I wish a mod would close this topic.

Granted, except I don't have the power to close this topic so I closed every other topic in the forum. Congratz!

I wish I had a 1000mbit internet connection

And then you would clog up your computer with al the porn you would be downloading

I wish i could live in a videogame

Granted. 'Nuff said. Holy Moses! :D

I wish it could be 1965 again

Granted! *Mighty Midget does a Quantum Leap and ends up being a baseball player in 1965. He doesnt know what to do to get back to his time, so he will be trapped in there...forever!*


I wish I had tickets to TNA's Bound For Glory event.

Granted. When you hold them in your hands a tiny earthquake makes you drop them and then they are gone with the wind.


I wish for a more fair spreading of earned money in jobs.

Granted. I now earn one million a year doing nothing and you earn nothing for doing everything.

I wish for the BEST mobile Internet (or Wi-Fi) connection for my laptop.

Granted! Five minutes after you boot your laptop, you discover it has a Sony battery, which promptly catches fire and reduces the entire machine to a cinder.

I wish weekends lasted longer than two days.

Sure they now last 3 days, but weeks last 15 days.

I wish that there would be less annoying people on the world.

Granted, you die. :bleh:

I wish I had a better video card.

Granted! Unfortunately, your power supply is too weak to power it, so you buy a new power supply. It does not have the correct plug for your motherboard's jack, so you buy a new motherboard. The new motherboard doesn't fit inside your case, so you buy a new case. The new case doesn't fit under your desk, so you buy a new desk. The new desk doesn't fit in your room, so you grab a sledgehammer and begin to knock out a wall. The sledgehammer turns out to be Mjolnir, the hammer of Thor, who left it at your place after last weekend's LAN party. The instant you strike the wall, it is turned to dust. Thor arrives at that very moment and is horrified to discover that his legendary hammer, slayer of giants and flattener of mountains, is being used for home improvement. As he never liked you much anyway due to your tendency to cheat at Counter-Strike, this is the last straw for Thor. He grabs Mjolnir from your hand and pronounces a curse on your family. Since you don't speak Old Norse, you have no idea what he says and don't react at all to the curse. Thor cannot believe your impudence and shoots a lightning bolt from his finger which renders you permanently blind.

I wish I could travel faster than light.

:kosta: for the reply


Granted, you are now an elderly citizen running for the free seat in the bus.

I wish that I had less posts in this topic.

(meh. you always make me kill you dude. I'm almost ashamed of myself ;))

Granted, you di...um...no...wait a sec...you are ba...no, that's not good either...hmm....Oh, I know, you have absolutely no posts in this topic, because you posted to the wrong topic all along. Yeah, I managed NOT to kill you this time. How rad am I :D

I wish Alex never became a priest.

Granted, he is now a nun.

I wish Playbahnosh had never killed me.

Granted.
You deny him the pleasure by wringing your neck in the bath until you pass out and drown.

I wish I could play the guitar like jimmy hendrix without turning into jimmy hendrix.
i know that's what you were thinking.
So without quantum leaps and stuff.
And I want to keep my soul.
Just me...
Playing the guitar.
With the mad skill of a jimmy hendrix.
No surprises.

Granted, you now play like Jimmy Hendrix, and all Jimi Hendrix fans out there are laughing ther legs off.

I wish I wasn't here, but there

(Crap, MM was faster than me. But I won't delete this cool corruption, live with it :))

O-kay, you asked for it :devil:

Granted! You are the first man to be sent to Mars, in an attempt to colonise the planet. But sadly, when you reach the planet, your ship malfunctions and you crash land. You lose radio contact with Earth, and most of you colonizing supplys are destroyed. However you have life-support...and Jimmy Hendrix's guitar you were given, because you asked so nicely. So you are on Mars. Just you. Playing the guitar. With the mad skill of Jimmy Hendrix (you had time to practise). No surprises. No rescue team either.... Just you and the guitar.

I wish the aliens would come, and give us cool techs.

Lets get out the mixup you n00bs created.
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Mighty Midget @ Sep 22 2007, 02:09 PM) [snapback]312461[/snapback]</div>Granted, you're on Mars.
Play's spaceship crashes on you.

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Playbahnosh @ Sep 22 2007, 02:10 PM) [snapback]312462[/snapback]</div>They come, and you're assimilated.
You're a borg now.
The sun has a magnetic outburst, you're sucked into the sun's core ... hot borgy, hot!!!!

I wish my ear wasn't itching.

Granted.
You lose all feeling in your head.

I wish I could know true love

Granted! You now know what true love is, but unfortunatly it's so complex you cannot understand what its really about, so you go on living your normal life.

I wish I could speak to animals.

Granted, the constant chattering of birds now drives you insane.

I wish for something secret.

Granted, you learn the secret language of the birdies.
The constant chattering of birds drives you insane.

I wish I could live inside the sun. Must be nice warm there, never winter, aaaaaah that would be good for my ol'bones.

Your bones are too cold for the sun, you kill it, and all humanity freezes to death.


I wish for no torrent leechers.

Granted, there are now no torrents at all.

I wish for a scallezazumy.

Granted. Now an octopus called scallezazumy will suck your brains.

I wish for great comic making skills.

Granted.
You make a enormous comic, you hang it on the Petronas Twin Towers @ Kuala Lumpur.
The towers can't bear that weight and collapse on you.

I wish that my 2 years'ol PC had 2 Gigs of mem.

Granted.
Now it's too smarts, gains self-consciousness and takes over the word! (again)

I wish love won't hurt...

Granted, it doesn't hurt, but it kills painless now.

I wish I could fart right now.

Granted, your nuclear fart just blew up the solar system.

I wish for ALL the money in the world.

(can you guys corrupt this in the right way? :sneaky: )

Granted.
You get all the metal money that's in the world.

On your head.

I wish I knew what to wish.

EDIT: GRaaah!

Granted. However, now its too late to wish for it!

I wish 20 dolphin chore singing "So long and Thanks for all the fish"

Granted.

A jealous big orca eats you.

I wish I didn't had to wish a wish.

:huh:
Pffffffffffffffffff weird weird sentence.

So be it! I'l go to Horseman, ask him powers to control the Forum Games and I'l remove your post(s).

I wish I had a towel.

Granted. It is now your only possession in this world

I wish I had all I want and need

Granted.
Your burglar staves in your face with the stick you keep under your bed in case somebody breaks in before running off with all your stuff.

I wish I could be both flexible and in control.

Granted, you are now a paradox and explode.

I wish I could go wherever I want.

Granted, you now lose all judgement and want to spend all time at a concert listening to "Hotel California", elevator music version, over and over again.

I wish that song was never written

Done. Instead of Hotel California, the band wrote another song, which is, to you, more obnoxious than Hotel California.

I wish they would have dubbed 80's & 90's cartoons better in Finland.

Granted.
Cartoons from the 80s/90s are dubbed better.
In greek.

I wish I could fly like superman without any unforeseen side effects.

Granted. You can now fly like superman. Your nose turns red, you grow antlers, and you have this inexplicable urge to sing "Santa Claus back in town...". However you knew this will happen all along.

I wish there was no hangover at all...

Granted. There's no drinking, so there's no hangover. You will always be sober and world will always look bad to you.

I wish that today would be my payday.

Granted. Today is the day you have to pay

I wish you were here

Granted. Now I'm here with a chainsaw, ready to chop you up :butcher:

i wish i had a golden toilet seat

Granted, you are now a toilet

I wish for xmas to be less tasteless and sickening

Granted. Instead of cinnamon, it'l taste like...tasteless and boring.

I wish I could be in Morrowind.

Granted. After few seconds of living in Morrowind You were killed by kagouti.


I wish for a gold fish, which wouldn't corrupt any of my wishes.

Here you go. A goldfish that cant be corrupted by wishe's.

Wait! Dont squeeze it...*squeeze*...oh great. Its dead now.

I wish I would be a real chosen one.

Congrats, you are now a real chosen one.
You're chosen as life-time oarsman on a assault galley.

War is here again, you're ship is in the first row, ah shame, it sinks, and you with it.
It was a short chosen one life span. Real shame.


I wish that my fu**ing keyboard didn't had all those useless OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooo SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooo handy extra fu**ing stupid keys all over it that can open all those apps directly. I fu**ing have shortcuts ya know.

Granted. Your "fu**ing" keyboard has now three basic "fu**ing" keys and lookes like this:
http://images24.fotosik.pl/89/5cf42d341d1e835d.jpg


I wish that computer hardware would be cheaper.

Granted, Computer hardware is now a lot cheaper..BUT NOW YOU GOT BREAST CANCER :l

I wish some aliens died instead of Charlotte.

Granted. Oh by the way, youre an alien too, so you also die!

I wish for fun.

Granted.
You win a trip to disney land, officially the funnest place on earth, and end up quite disappointed.

I wish i was a jedi

Granted you're a jedi in the Star Trek universe.

I wish for more porn bots.

Granted, now You are one of them.


I wish for a Advanced Power Armor MK II and YK42B Pulse Rifle >:)

Granted. However, it'l blow up in pieces in your hands.

I wish Nate Webb vs Delirious match

Granted. But it's neither broadcasted nor recorded!


I wish for a faultless car that isn't broken all the time.

Granted. You now have Flintstone's car


I wish for raising my earnings

Granted. *Lifts J@nek's earnings to the roof*

I wish more freetime

Granted, you now have so much free time that you are so bored you become crazy and go on a murderous rampage.

I wish that Skype worked predictably in this neck of the woods.

Granted. Now Skype's are very efficent when ran inside Big Mango's


I wish I had a classic wrestling event on DVD which I could watch tonight.

Granted.
You rent for the evening a wrestlemania VI dvd, with hulk hogan and ultimate warrior duking it out over the championship for an hour and a half at the end.
The dvd player breaks when the dvd is inserted, and a repairman can't makie it until tomorrow! :wallbash:

I wish I was hulk hogan

Granted. Now you are hulk hogan..... That's it.

I wish for a faster internet connection.

Granted. Youre now transferred to stone age. Your internet will be totally fast there, because you have the only internet.

I wish...I would want to wish something.

@chumloofah = I have seen that match...and it was horrible.

Granted, you now want to wish something, but you just used your wish...and the wish also caused breast cancer :3

I wish.-..... I wish i had a wheelchair.

Granted, and now you're jealous of all the people righting segways.

I wish for more public urinals in the city.

Granted, your house is now a public urinal.

I wish for no floods.

Granted.
Water is now bound by the laws of physics to remain below one inch high.
The whole world is covered in a thin film of dihydrogen oxide, and the sandal company you just invested all your money in, assuming the beneficial effects of global warming, goes tits up.
You lose everything.

I wish the world was full of clean hookers that were free.

A le Chosen...
http://i86.photobucket.com/albums/k1...stlemania6.jpg

It was pretty bad :D

Granted.
You're one of them now.
You wear a badge with:
"Free ride on a clean kincky stuff hooker here".

I wish a woman for this weekend.
Around her 50'ies, C+, soft, tender, warm, willing, oh yeah baby.

Granted, she has shoe size 51, she's a mean programmer, has tender bare gums, a fever and she's willing to spread the germs.

I wish I didn't have to pay the bills

Granted. From now on You don't have electricity, water, gas and internet connection so You don't have to pay any bills.

I wish that there will be no autumn.

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(J@nek @ Sep 27 2007, 04:36 PM) [snapback]313480[/snapback]</div>Ahaha!
What country do you live in?
I always figured you had to pay the government what's due them for your continued existence.

Let us not talk about my government... It's waste of time ;)


EDIT: I wish a new, better government ;)

Granted.
A new, better government is elected after a long, powerful campaign explaining how new and better they are.
One millisecond after they gain control you realise they are arseholes too :ok:

Politicians, eh?

I wish that everybody who, at this exact moment in reality, is a politician would get a massive haemerrhoid and a ton of boils.

Granted, Aung San Suu Kyi now has a massive haemerrhoid and a ton of boils. The entire world now thinks you are a bastard.

I wish I had already finished moving my stuff out of this damned apartment.

Granted. Now your apartment is empty and all your stuff are on their way to junkyard.


I wish I had Counter-strike installed on this computer.

Granted. You're gambling CS a bit and find out that you're actually not in the mood to.


I wish the world wouldn't be so damn screwed up.

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Icewolf @ Sep 28 2007, 07:09 AM) [snapback]313583[/snapback]</div>Granted, now the world is nailed up

I wish the work would be over so I could go to home and check if my old NES works anymore

Granted, you're fired and you will spend every minute of your remaining life indoors trying to get the brokes NES working, without success.

I wish I was a super hero

Granted, you now have the power to decrease the half-life of astatine at will.

I wish to be able to play guitar like Django Reinhardt.

Granted, you now lose 2 fingers on your hand, but your playing is awful

I wish I had every Django Reinhardt recording ever made.

Granted. They block you door and windows and you starve.


I wish for a world with less cruelty.

Granted, the world is now full of over emotional flamboyant people.

I wish for more unisex bathrooms.

Granted.
And you are unisex now.
:bleh:

I wish there were more Unreal Coop maps.

Granted, there are more coop maps now, but no one to play them with.

I wish that all your stockz are belong to us.

Granted. All right, all your stocks belong to us, so you are broke and have to live on the street now. And a dog steals your shoes and the wind blows away you paper that should do as you blanket at night.


I wish for more flawless printing solutions in medium business field.

Granted, unfortunately this makes you incredibly dull so you now spend a lot of time alone.

I wish for more disk space.

Granted. You get a new SATA drive. You heard about the "emulated IDE issue" and fiddle around in your BIOS. Great, your PC burns away. All your Data is lost! MU-HARHARHAR! >:)


I wish for less scam in IT-equipment. (stayin in this theme...)

Granted. No equipment, no scams.


I wish I had some ice for my coke.

Granted. You now live on the North Pole.

I wish for vacation

Granted.
You may have a four years vacation.
On the north pole.
We don't want TheChosen to feel lonely, do we ?


I wish I had a Pinguicula gigantea.

Granted. Since I tought that has something to do with penguins, youre now living with me and J@nek in north pole! Oh joy!


I wish I had a sword. My kingdom for a sword!

.........North pole? Tropical ?
........ Penguins on the north pole?
:blink:
ZOMG the planet is warming faster then I thought ! ZOMG !!

Your wish is granted, you get a sword, 20 cm deep between your shoulderblades.
You gonna love it, really.


I wish it wasn't time yet again to clean up the inside of my PC, the fans are making noise again ... dust dust dust and my eternal smoking.
<_<

Granted, you are going to remove those dreaded fans.
So your PC is just getting a bit hotter than usual.

I wish, I wish.

Since He's going to remove them anyway. :whistling:

You get my fans.
But the coils are fried.

I wish I had 'real silent' fans in my PC. :kosta:

Granted, but your hdd sounds like 50 chainsaws

I wish nothing will go wrong in any way

Granted, nothing hasn't gone wrong, everything has.

I wish for Lemuria to be real.

It's real, they found it on the north pole.
You will live there now.
Don't fear, you ain't alone there, it even becomes crowded with Abandonia members I would say.

I wish the world had 2 south poles.

I aint granting you no wishies... theres the Megnetic and the Geographical southpoles :B

i wish that the above is correct, and if it is correct before my wish is granted, i wish for a weelchair that is able to climb stairs.

Granted, you get a wheelchair with snowtires and ice spikes.

You need them@the north pole where you join the rest of us.
We organise a stair climbing contest especially for you.


I wish Halindir would fall from the stairs.

Granted. Halindir comes over to your place, falls down the stairs, and sues you for improper stair maintenance. He wins and gets your new silent PC fans.

I wish my coworker would hurry up and get off the phone so we could play foosball.

He does and because he did it so fast, he gets promoted and youre fired. Have fun with your foosball game.

I wish for a huge collection of internet radios.

Granted. Was about time you'd get what you wanted ....

But there is no internet conn on the north pole. Can't have it all ....


I wish it was nice sunny weather this weekend.

For humans. On Earth. Where I live. Not sunny weather without rain forever.

Granted. Ideal weather for building Your igloo...on the north pole :D

I wish for a huge "house" party with all AB members

Granted, and you're banned

I wish I had a brain sometimes

Granted. Also, with brain, you'l get a brain tumor.

I wish I had the best RPG's in the world.

Granted. It's Your life - the best and most realistic RPG ever.


I wish for breakfast in bed.

Granted. The cockroaches joins you on your breakfast.

I wish I wasn't on the north pole.

Granted, global warming accelerates, so the snow and ice melts. Unfortunately, you drown.

I wish for someone else to clean my apartment tomorrow.

this dude

i wish i knew how to use a bow

Granted you use the bow for all the wrong purposes. You use it to mash potatoes.

I wish for there to be less "forbidden 403" links like in the post above me.

Granted.
You're a real marksman with bow&arrow.
You could easily win the olympics.
YOU'RE COULD BE TEH BEST EVAH.
'Could', sadly enough you were biten in hands, arms and legs by a mad rooster.
You get gangrene ..... you are dismembered.
Tsssssssssssss, what a shame.
Damn you Tulac :angry:

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Tulac @ Sep 29 2007, 12:48 PM) [snapback]313820[/snapback]</div>
There are no '403' leftover, no link at all even.
Internet is comletely down now.
BÃ*Ã*Ã*Ã*Ã*Ã*d Tulac.

I wish I had a Duvel right now.

Here you go. However, its so hot that you burn your mouth.

I wish I had a leisure suit.

Granted.
Unfortunately you are seen.

I wish I wish I had a dish of fish

Granted, you wished for it but got a platter of dung instead

I wish there were less viruses around

Granted. There is only one strain of virus left in the entire world, except it is the most lethal virus ever known to man. It is airborne and instantly passes from victim to victim, causing their brains to swell up until their heads literally explode. The entire human population on the entire globe is completely annihilated simply because YOU didn't want so many annoying cold viruses around. A pox upon you and your posterity...if they weren't already dead that is.

I wish to be the best musician in the entire world.

Granted, after the virus pegged out everyone but you, you are now THE best musician in the world, as well as the only audience. Happy gigging.

I wish I could get back my sleep pattern

Granted, you now have a sleeping pattern of a 1 year old baby. That's how it used to be after all.

I wish for a doo doo.

your doo doo is here http://eroundlake.com/blog/uploaded_images...dent-768505.jpg

i wish for optic fibres

Granted, but you only use it for sex purposes. :blink:

I wish for more orange juice in my glass.

Granted.
I've put the glass in your lung, though.

I wish for an emoticon that properly represents the depth of human emotion

http://img470.imageshack.us/img470/3577/mubuc9.jpg ...granted

i wish for manboobs

Granted. All humans lose the ability show any emotion except for the following: :yawn:

I wish for a corn dog so big that even God couldn't eat it.

@Halindir: Granted. Now you got boobs and breastcancer.
@ReamusLQ: Granted. However, you are crushed under the corn dog.

I wish I dont have to wake up at 4:50 tomorrow

Granted. You have to wake up at 4:00 cause they changed the public transport schedule!


I wish I wouldn't have wrecked my car! :(

Granted, someone just stole your car, wrecked it and placed it back in it's original place.


I wish I didn't needed to sneak in PC hardware for my Desktop.
(My mom WILL kill me IF she finds out)

Granted. You no longer have a computer.

I wish for inspiration.

Granted, you get inspired to kill yourself.

I wish my wifi card is going to work immediately with my Ubuntu boot.

Granted, but it won't work correctly.

I wish that any time I was given a price to pay, I could pull exact change in that amount from my pocket.

Sure, but guess what? All that money is in cents!


I wish for more nudity in games.

Granted, it's all full nude for the male games characters from now on. :blink:

I wish I could easily setup my USB broadband modem in CentOS 4.5.

Granted. Now you think that just putting modem in the computer will install it. However, it explodes the whole computer instead.

I wish someone would tought me how to wrestle.

Granted, you'll get a private lesson from Hulk Hogan.

Unfortunately he crushes you to a pulp.

I wish I had a CD/DVD reader/burner, instead of a CD reader/burner.

Granted, you have a super_de_luxe_extremely_fast_DVD_burner.

Causes a meltdown, you get a China syndrome and you and your house sink to the Earth's core.
Bye bye.

You're better off than most of us, it's cold here on the north pole.

I wish you punks would be satisfied with all you have, you're always nagging the whole day through, PUNKS.

Granted. Now we are satisfied while youre crying in north pole full of penguins!

I wish I had all the seasons of "Quantum Leap"

Granted, except that the DVD's are the wrong region for your neck of the woods.

I wish that that I didn't feel quite so ill.

Granted.
You are now numb to all physical sensation.

I wish everybody was dead but me

Granted. You are now left to live the rest of your lonely years wallowing in your misanthropy, enjoy! :)

I wish that decent live bands came to play in Bangkok.

Granted, you'll soon receive a visit of a band of very agitated (and slightly deranged) individuals to have their fun on expense of others.
I wish I had an angel... :whistling:

Thy wish, GRANTED. your very own archangel will be with you shortly, in the mean time...

I rather wish cigarettes had never been invented.

Granted.
I personally make you suffer for 4 long days until you are rescued by the merciful hand of death.

I wish I had a cigarette now

granted, you now have a cigarette, but it's wet :)

I wish I was better at backgammon :D

Granted. You have been sented to Backgammon dojo in Japan, where you spent five years perfecting your skills.


I wish something cool would happen in my life...and It would be something that doesnt have anything to do with death

Granted.
You get raped by a snowman.

I wish that we didn't void our bowels at the moment of death

Granted, everyone dying now find pickled onions mysteriously shoved up their bum. Everyone hate you for your wish

I wish I didn't tell the secrets of playing

Granted, now I can't play backgammon with you :P

I wish that I smoked less.

Granted, but now You drink more.


I wish for vacation on a carraibian islands

EDIT: Coz I was too late ^_^

Granted, you are now pepared as dinner for the local cannibals

I wish everything was perfectly fine in every way

@ J@nek: Granted, except the island in the Caribbean you are on is actually a tiny little sand bar in the middle of the ocean surrounded man eating sharks and all you have to occupy you is a huge crate of gay porn.

@ Mighty Midget: Granted, everything is now very very small...

I wish I didn't have so many relationship problems

Granted. You are now single...forever...


I wish that hang-over never existed...

Granted. You have been guillotined

I wish those online gamers weren't such a bunch of wankers, quitting as soon as they are not in a massive lead.

Granted, except now they have web cams and you have to not only listen to them whine and complain the entire game, but you have to watch them "wank" while you play the game :wink:

I wish for lots and lots of cheese...

Granted.
Lots of cheese between your toes.
What a smell !!!!!
Your neighbours start a petition to get you banned, and you are banned, to the north pole.
All those Abandonia members there can't stand that smell and ditch you in the freezing sea.


I wish I didn't forgot to buy bread for breackfast tommorow morning.

Granted. You forgot to buy milk.

I wish "art" was spelled with an F.

Granted, it is now spelled "frt." "Apple" is now spelled "fpple," "angry" is now spelled "fngry," and thousands of men now called "Fdam" now want to hunt you down and kill you.

I wish the global community could do more for the people of Burma, which would result in less deaths.

The justice league of america bombs burma, razing most of it before retiring to fill in the official reports.
These reports mostly consist of estimates of civilian casualties; an arbitrary number between 1 and 20.

I wish I knew more about our loose affiliation of millionaires and billionaires and baby

Granted. However since I can't put my finger on what you are wishing for, you get a role of toilet paper instead.

I wish for more people wearing spandex

Granted, one more people is wearing it. YOU are that people.
And you look pretty ridicule too.


I wish my big fat cigar was a bigger fatter one.

Granted. Its now sooo humongous that you die after you have finished smoking it.


I wish I had a comic book right now

Granted.
You get a comic book.
It's full of adverts... particularly hypnotic adverts.
You spend all your pennies, selling off your organs to scrape in everything you can, on x-ray glasses and itching powder.
The glasses don't work and the powder gets spilled in your underwear drawer.

I wish for a pet tiger that was my bestest friend and wouldn't hurt me and would kill anybody i told it to

Granted, you get your lovely pet-tiger.
He's your best friend, loves you, and you love him, he's your domestic mate.
The tiger's female and companion gets jealous and kills you.

I wish all members of Abandonia good luck and plenty happiness.

Granted, but then you get banned, so no luck and happiness for you :)

I wish for the storm that's about to hit to go elsewhere....

Granted.
The storm goes elsewhere.
You also go elsewhere, the same elsewhere as the storm.
You're blown away and crush your skull onto an iglo.


I wish that the 'elsewhere' would be the north pole.

Granted, you're now elsewhere.
I wish to have a brand new hell-machine of a computer

Granted. And it was cheap, too: all it cost you was your soul.

I wish people would quit cooking bad-smelling foods in the microwave at work.

Granted, they now over cook broccoli and other horrible foods by more than seven hours by using the one hot-plate in the office located on your desk.

I wish I was anorexic

Granted, you're now a child again.
I wish I didn't want to wish anything

Granted. You are pleased with everything and nothing. Your life gets more and more dull. You commit suicide.

I wish for less buzz words in enterprise and business IT.

Granted, you're deaf now.
I wish a fried chicken with sweet, spicy sauce

Granted, you get your fried chicken with sweet, spicy sauce.
And as extra you get bird flu.

I wish I knew which one of my @#&@#!# children has taken my Alien DVD collection so I could kick his/her sorry ar*e.
:hammer:

Granted, but they are armed with nuclear warheads, so you aren't getting anywhere near it.

I wish I could find a picture of a Nazi elephant.

Granted. He's in front of your door. When you open up he hits you unconcious, steals your money and valuable goods, shouts "Heil!" and runs off laughing viciously.

I wish for less sniffy people all over the world.

Granted. Now youre the only one left.

I wish I had the Ghost N' Goblings arcade machine in my room.

Granted. Now you room is full and you can't get in or out.


I wish that the burden that we all (INCLUDING ME!) have to carry day by day wouldn't always get heavier but lighter.

EDIT

Granted, your wallet is getting dangerously thin

I wish those nazis would just snap out of it

Granted they all become elephants and trample you to a pulp.

I wish for a better fan *gasp*

Granted, you now have a FC Liverpool fan in your room.


I wish that my throat wouldn't sore.

Granted, but now your leg falls off.

I wish that tonight is full of joy and fantastic music!


(btw, I hope you feel better soon Tulac :) )

Granted. You meet a lovely handsome guy, that'll screw your feelings in the end. You're sad for the next two months.


I wish for better digestible coffee.

Granted, it is now pure acid and goes straight through you. Literally.

I wish for a pony :P

Granted. The pony falls down on you.


I wish the this stupid wardrobe would get out of my office.

Granted, the wardrobe comes to life, attacks you, then leaves.

I wish I had the ability to cook well.

Granted. You're moved into The Twilight Zone where you have to cook well eternally for a sultan. Every day is the same.


I wish for a nice pub around.

Granted, but oh god! The pub is filled with obnoxious englishmen!


I wish for arcade games

Granted, your world becomes one huge arcade game.

Oh my oh my oh my an enormous sun outburst causes a devastating EMP and your world is fried.
You're also fried.
Shame, real shame, tsssssssssssssssssssssss.

I wish I didn't had to paint my house again ..... :/

Granted, It has burned to the ground

I wish I didn't see all the crap I've seen on the internet

Granted. You've now seen all of that same crap, but in your own bedroom.

I wish I didn't have to drive 325 miles this afternoon.

Granted. Il take you back in time and now you'l have to walk 325 miles.

I wish I had an appartment near my school

Granted...but unfortunately theres a lunatic doing some schoolshooting...and you die

i wish i was an Arnold.

Granted, you are now Arnold Arnoldski

I wish people weren't so concerned about being so politically correct all the time

Granted, now people are concern about not being concerned to be politically correct all the time.

I wish for bigger spoons

Granted.
All your mugs are obsolete and you have to buy special stirrers or giant mugs to make a coffee.

I wish to be a Planeteer!

Granted. You're now stuck in a cartoon comic world.
I wish we didn't have the global warming rising

Granted. Now we have the global cooling. Hope you have lots of wool.


I wish people would realize that Winnie the Pooh is all about "The moneyh!"

Granted, but you destroy millions of people's childhood memories in the process, so they hunt you down and kill you.

I wish I didn't have to go out tonight.

Granted; you now have absolutely no friends, family, or associates with whom you could go out with even if you wanted.

I wish I could speak fluent Russian

Granted, as a prisoner in a remote, secret Gulag camp, the fellow prisoners teach you all you want to know as payment for picking up their soap bars in the shower.

I wish time was of no relevancy

Granted, but now no-one knows if they're coming or going, and everyone goes insane.

I wish for less badgers :)

granted, and you get .. SNAAAAAAKEEEEEE

i wish for picture of somebody in a full size *cough cough*

Granted, you get a picture of me being pissed off on you for interrupting my response. In full size!


I wish that the universal balance would create an abstract layer of consiousness in every living being therefore creating a time-space distortion that can only be avoided by eating large cheese sandwiches with extra mayonaisse.

Granted, but now everyone thinks you're a weirdo for making that wish, so they avoid you. You die alone, but at least you have an abstract layer of consciousness while you do it.

I wish for cheese to be readily available in my neck of the woods...

Granted. Cheese is now EVERYWHERE, and I mean everywhere. Soon you are sick of it and you only want a ritz, but you can't have any coz there is no room left coz of all the cheese.

I wish I had a working stove

Granted. And now you have to actually cook. Eeeew!

I wish for my badgerland to become true

Granted.
Badgerland becomes true in your pants, and is conveniently located near your bits and bobs.
It reeks of badger and nobody will sleep with you ever again.

I wish I could play the stylophone.

Granted. You now have to play it day and night without interruption until your hands become numb and you begin to starve.
I wish it wasn't so cold here today (brr)

Granted, it is now -80 C every day now for the rest of the earth's existence. Thanks a lot you selfish jerk!

I wish I could do planche push-ups.

Granted, although in your quest for muscles you misuse steroids and become a hulk of a man with breasts and shrunken genitalia.

I wish for friends that weren't so crazy.

Granted, now you have dull conservative friends.

I wish you had made a wish :P

Granted.
He made a wish and it didn't turn out like he hoped it would.

I wish my coffee hadn't gotten cold

Granted. Your coffe is so hot, that You've burnt Your mouth and throat.


I wish taht autumn will finally ends

It ends. Now it's winter.

I wish I hadn't run out of cigarettes just now.

Granted.
You find another pack, but they're wet.
(See how you like it! :bleh: )

I wish my playstation didn't broked.

Granted, your PS is in excellent shape.
Works GREAT.
Yay.

Your two arms are broken now, and all your fingers.
Whilst I'm on it, your neck is also broken.
And your legs.
You're a totall loss.


I wish my [autocensormode on]*********[/autocensor mode off] wasn't itching.

Granted your autocensormode isn't itching anymore.

I wish I didn't needed to reinstall Windows on my Desktop. :wallbash:

granted, you v got no desktop at all

i wish for a new i pod

Granted.
Your manhood turns into a new ipod.

I wish I had a manhood of equine proportions

Granted, it is now the size of a very large horse.

I wish I had telescope arms

Granted, your arms can reach from 1cm to 7 cm, telescopic of course.
You gonna have a lot of fun.

I wish there was something interesting on the telly.

you

... :D

i wish for telly

Granted, you now got a new telly which is broken after you turn it on.
I wish the time of the old Dos games would return in a new, interesting way

Granted. All of the old classics have now been remade, the game engines completely changed, the graphics redesigned to stunning 3D images, and the games have all of the potential in the universe to be absolutely amazing.

Unfortunately, the gaming companies realize the current story lines would never sell, so they decide to target a specific market and make all of the characters engage in unspeakable homosexual acts with very little elements of the original plot line left in the games. Thanks to you, our classics have been destroyed forever.

I wish STD's didn't exist

Granted, but now you have flu instead.

I wish I could get my phone's WAP to work properly.

Your phone is stolen.
The thief gets the WAP to work properly on your phone.
:bleh:

I wish all those GSMs -(Cell-phones for the foreigners)- would disappear forever.

What's wrong with you peeps? Can't you live without that horrific thing glued on your ears? You're all nuts.

Granted!!! And now there are a few Billion people angry enough of you to kill you.
*I'd suggest plastic surgery, new name and live on a remote location. Like the north pole. :bleh: *

I wish I could control my Desktop from my Laptop through "remote Desktop".

Granted, but you have no control over your bladder

I wish I had all the hdd space I wanted

Granted, You don't need any hdd space at all, so your drives are removed from your system and mailed to me. :sneaky:

I wish I have Larger (Mb wise) Hard Disks for my system, without making them incompatible with MY system.

Granted, but your cpu, memory chips, monitor, keyboard and glass of water catch fire and burn your house down

I wish for all good things to happen to all

Granted, all good things happened to all. No good things are left anymore and will never again happen.
I wish people would stop to be smoking and the term "cigarettes" would disappear from our knowledge

Granted, now I kill you LOL

I wish that I had a slave to go and buy kitty litter for me.

Granted.
You get a black slave called "Boy" and are hounded day and night by equal rights protestors.

I wish I had another mug of coffee.
No surprises, I don't want to turn into a coffee, I don't want coffee made from people or anything like that.
Just a mug of coffee.

Granted, it's a nice normal hot cup of coffee, which you immediately drop and burn your crotch.

I wish for a pig-ant.

OH.....
Your wish is granted, you have one.

I won't corrupt that one, live with it.
BTW: it also SLEEPS with you.

I wish there weren't so much 'IT specialists' that completely screw up PLC and numeric CAM programming. Would make my life on the tech board much easier.

Granted. The IT specialists all get jobs in marketing and leave it to the everyday users to screw up PLC and numeric CAM programming. Have fun!

I wish my family was sane.

Your entire family is sane now.
And therefore rejects you.

I wish my youngest granddaughter wouldn't like so much to grab my dentures.

Granted, she grabbed your shoelaces instead, tripping you. You hit the deck with a scream. Your last scream... ever.

I wish today was longer.

Granted. Today will last 840 hours and will forever be known as The Monday That Wouldn't Die. Every working person in the world is now out to kill you.

I wish my mother-in-law wasn't about to visit.

Granted.
She's right behind you!

I wish I was lovely

Granted, everyone would love to spend time with you and admire you, if it wasn't for that nasty virus you got that sent you off to isolation and quarantine for the rest of your life... about 15 minutes.

I wish I had everything the way I wanted and needed.

Granted. However, your needs and wants are in constant conflict with each other, and you get nothing but a throbbing headache.

I wish I could travel through time, forward or back, at will.

Granted, you're now lost in the endless parallel universes and can't find your way back to your own timescape.
I wish there wasn't an "edit" line at the bottom whenever one has to edit his post :ph34r:

Granted.
No w we can 'd etit our postz animore.
We zALl hate you.

I wish there were nude female emos.
:blink: <_< :brain: :kosta: :tomato: :tai:

Granted.


I wish my music collection was all on original vinyl pressings.

Granted. However, you have no idea how to play them.

I wish I would be more healthier person

Granted, and I won't corrupt that wish.


I wish all the vinyl records that Lulu_Jane has would be completely, totally worn out.
CDs RULEZ !!!!

Granted, but because of your nasty wish, I come to your house and take to you with an icepick while you sleep :)

I wish I was winning at backgammon :D

Granted.
Yet again, however, you manage to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory.

I wish I knew how to play backgammon properly

Granted. You forget, however, how to do just about anything else.
I wish I could see beyond this world

Granted. You now see beyond this world which is full of H.P Lovecraft-type-of-horrors. Its so awful that you go blind.

I wish I could join in Team Rocket.

Granted, you now join the team that's going to be blown up in a rocket as test objects.
I wish I could eat a fresh honeydew melon

Granted.
You are now capable of eating a honeydew melon by vomiting your stomach acids over it until it's soft and mushy then using a straw.

I wish for the fulfillment of this wish to have no effect other than that specifically addressed in the phrasing of the wish.

Granted, you get nothing.

I wish I didn't have that beer.

Granted. Your best friend had that beer several hours beforehand, then came around and refilled the glass with the "processed" beer, and you unknowingly drank that instead. Nice friends you've got.

I wish the shadows outside weren't quite so long.

Granted. They demolished your house.

I wish noone posted next

Granted.. Im a noone

I wish i was famous ...or ..i wish the next one to post next wishes for a pony.

Granted. Now youre ill-famed geek who spents 20 hours a day playing video games.

I wish all the dos games would work withouth any problems on the moderm system.

Granted.
Now the only OS in the world is an updated MSDos 6.22 that runs flawless all games.
And of course prompt commands only.


I wish that Vista didn't had to do a complete chkdsk after installing Ubu and the Grubbootmanager.

Granted, now Vista won't even consider booting up after installing ubu and Grub.

I wish my Desktop would be more Silent in it's actions. (HDD, RAM, it's all noisy <_< )

I'd like to sleep without needing to turn off the entire thing. (only then I notice how slow it is)

Granted, it is now quiet enough so you can sleep, however you now dream of the noise, and wake up cross.

I wish that tonight is full of glorious music and dancing and nothing bad happens.

Granted. You join me in to the trip to St. Pauli tonight. You are dressed too little (it's chilly here ATM) and freeze all night and have a cold tomorrow.


I wish the old days wouldn't be so far back in the years and it was easier to have parties.

Granted. People now have more parties but you arent invited!

I wish I had that Leisure Suit I mentioned earlier.

Granted, but you stand to close to someone who is smoking, and the leisure suit catches fire and melts all over you pink body causing massive burns.

I wish I knew how to send text messages with my new phone. Stupid Samsung non-intuitive design!

Granted, now you can finally read the phone's manual and learn how to send messages.
You gain that knowledge.
Congrats, a small step for mankind but a enormous leap for you.
YOU DID IT !!!! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!! You can send messages !!!

BUT....... the phone now recieves ALL messages send from anyone to anyone.
YOU ARE FLOODED WITH MESSAGES.
The whole day and night through you hear constantly that stupid tune you've put on the phone.

I wish I was in Hawai .....

Granted, you are literally in Hawaii. Inside a gigantic volcano to be exact.

I wish I wish.

Granted, you're a wisher now.

It's a paradox, but none will be granted, EVAH.

I wish I wasn't inside a vulcano.
HOT HERE.......... HOT.

Granted, you are now inside a block of ice.

I wish I knew who keeps calling me then ringing off just as I get to the phone :(

Granted.
It's the CIA.
Off to Guantanamo with you!

I wish for inner peace, by which I mean a lack of inner turmoil, not being dead or brain-dead or paralysed or anything.

Granted - you've just became a cannibal and ate 4 peace activists, so there's nothing but peace within you.

I wish one of those activists wasn't my friend. ^_^

Granted. One of the activists wasn't your friend. The other three were.

I wish I wasn't on-call this weekend.

Wish Granted! You're fired.

I wish Tom Landry was still alive to coach the Cowboys in the NFL.

OK, but the players can't stand his "afterlife smell" and do nothing but puke if he's anywhere within a 500 yard radius of them.

I wish the they'd finally stop polluting the planet with instant hit music.

Granted. Now theyre only producing very bad music.

I wish I could break the fourth wall.

you managed to do so with your breath taking rush of feces while sitting in a public toilet cabin

i wish for healty stomach

Granted, your stomach now is so strong that it can digest steel. In fact, steel is the only thing it can accept. Of course, there's a matter of swallowing it first...
I wish for an armageddon

Granted, you're stuck in a cinema showing nothing but Armageddon (with Bruce Willis) for three days straight!

I wish I could see your face when you get out of the cinema after that :D

Granted you can see his face, but you have gone through the same treatment.

I wish NYAAAAAAAR ALAKAZAM BAM BAM BOORO

Granted.
NYAAAAAAAR ALAKAZAM BAM BAM BOORO appears and eats your liver.

I wish I had a turkey sandwich.
Nothing weird happening.
I dont want to turn into a turkey.
I don't want anything weird on the sandwich.
Turkey sandwich.

you get a turkey sandwich. and the turkey pecked your eye

i wish for the same as the person above but with dead fried turkey instead

Granted.
An eagle wants your fried turkey and pecks your eye.


I wish I was an eagle.

Granted.

You peck your own eye.

I wish no-one pecks my eye.

your eye pecks itself

i wish for new topic

granted but you will get banned.
I wish for an earlier x-mas :(

yay, its nuclear winter

i wish for funnier posts from people who wish for earlier xmas :P

They already were, you were just unable to understand the depths of their humor.

I wish for :ok:

Granted.
:ok: appears and violates you with that massive thumb.

I wish :titan: would be my personal slave and do nothing other than that which I tell him and know I would like.

granted. you, though, became a sadomasochists (you know, kinky porn can spoil you)

i wish<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(chumloofah @ Oct 14 2007, 09:39 PM) [snapback]316111[/snapback]</div> didnt make me laugh so hard

Granted, it gave you ideas on where to put your thumb instead.

I wish everyone would do the monkey dance :monkey_dance:

so we did, including you (right.. you sarted dancing)

i wish i didnt have to wake up so early tomorrow

Granted, you have to sleep during the day until the late evening. Because of this, you're slowly turning into a crazy killer, roaming the streets at night.
I wish I had an ice cream right now

Granted. Unfortunately the temperature randomly spikes to 200 degrees and your ice cream instantly melts into a messy puddle on the floor, which is then attacked by red fire ants so there's no chance of eating the melted ice cream. You then suffer a massive mental break down and spend the rest of your life crying in a straight jacket in a padded cell.

I wish upon a star...

Your wish is granted, you're now crushed by a huge flaming meteor.
I wish there were less mosquitos where I am right now

ALAKZAM! You wish has been granted. Now there are only 20 mosquitos. They are the size of skyscrapers and are currently enjoying a flesh feast.

I wish for the death of River dance.

Granted. With the dead of the river dance, the rivers cease flowing and there's no more drinking water. Rain circles are disturbed and everything goes down the drain. Great wish... <_< ;)


I wish I knew the name of this rock band I have two unlabled CDs of. :whistling:

Granted.
The name is so pretentious and crap that you can never enjoy their music again.

I wish I had a McBurger.

And a huge Scott comes up and hugs you and says: "Aye laddy, I bestove 'ereby the love of the whole clan McBurger upan ye!"

I wish somebody took a picture of that happening.

Granted, but they happen to be naked and wouldn't you know, the Mind's Eye is the one we can't poke out.

I wish for Lulu Jane.

Granted. You may now wish for Lulu Jane until you grow to be 154 years old and there will never be any other person you'll ever be able to fall in love with.

I wish for world peace - without people getting killed before it's achieved.

Granted, all humanity is eternally paralized.


I wish from more crunchy cookie pieces in ice cream.

Granted.
There is world peace then everybody dies.

I wish that there was a better emoticon for fear.
One that didn't say "ninja"
:ph34r:

@Tulac: Ice-creams are now full of crunchy cookie pieces tasting like muck.
@chumloofah: The :ph34r: smiley is getting replaced with a personal photo of a beautiful girl, taken at the moment when she saw you.

I wish I was there to comfort that beautiful girl...

Granted.
You take her home to comfort her and are surprised to find she has a penis, and that it is in your hand.

I wish i could fly like superman.
Not like anybody or anything else.

You now fly just like Superman with a backpack full of kryptonite on your back!

I wish I was invisible!

You are.

And the driver of the 40 tons 18 wheeler never knew that he was driving over you, smearing you allover some 250 meters of road.



I wish there would be some good movies on the telly this weekend.

Granted. The top ten movies ever made are shown. Unfortunately their is a global power outage and by the time everything is restored to normal all that is showing is a 500 hour teletubby marathon.

I wish I was a neo-Skoptzy like in The Stars My Destination

Granted, but at that point your taste changes and you start hating yourself for it.

I wish I knew who the guy you're talking about is.

Granted, you know all of them, more: you ARE one of them.

BTW:The Skoptzy (Cyrillic alphabet �копцы, also transliterated as Skoptsy, Skoptzi, Skoptsi, Scoptsy and other spellings) ....... For men, "lesser" castration was the removal of the testicles only, while "greater" castration was the removal of the penis as well.

I wish I hadn't been completely drunk yesterday evening.

Granted; you were so drunk you died from alcohol poisoning.

BTW: The Neo-skoptzy group in The Stars My Destination had all of their nerve endings severed, simply existing while not experiencing any physical sensations whatsoever.

I wish I had better friends.

Granted, you now have slightly better friends, but your old ones soon form an alliance against you with your new ones and, much like Ceaser, you are soon stabbed in the back.

I wish for a year's supply of Ex-Lax!

And you get it mixed with your next drink :P

I wish the new forum would be opened already!

Granted.
The new forum layout is in use, and crashes continually.

I wish the next poster would get a haircut, the punk.

Granted, the punk now became a skinhead and came with his gang to beat up and rape your entire family.

I wish there'd be something good on the radio.

Granted, there're now crazy whistling and cracking sounds anywhere on the radio.
I wish I would be teleported away somewhere else instantly

Granted, you're now in line at the DMV.

I wish for marijuana to be legal in all of the united states. I don't use it, but I just feel bad for the people who do.

Granted, not only marihuana but also all other drugs are now freely available. Everyone begins to use them, and soon it will be the living Hell on Earth.
I wish I knew what's a DMV

Granted, it's the Department Of Motor Vehicles. You are now forced to work there for eternity.

I wish a nice evening later with no crazy French women getting cross.

Granted. Now the women will be German. <Nefarious laughter>

I WISH TO RULE THE UNIVERSE!

Granted. The paperwork is killing you and everybody laughts at you for your stupid wish and insufficient unsurances that don't work in all parts of the universe.


I wish that I felt like the music would sound better with you (all).

Granted, the music now sounds so glorious with all of us, that your heart explodes because it can't handle all the wonder.

I wish I understood the shoutbox and its mysterious ways.

Granted. You take the long journey up the Himalaya to meet Fuji Hasimoto to ask him. It's freezing up there and the old man sits cross-legged in the place he seems to sit for eternities. Fuji raises his index finger and answers:"Only the admins can help you. My knowlege is little in these fields."
Your disappointment is huge.


I wish for less pitfalls in programming languages.

Granted, there are now less pitfalls in programming languages, but many more pitfalls in yours. No one can understand you and you become very lonely.

I wish I could leave work now.

Jane, You're fired!!!

I wish I really was your boss :)

Granted, I now annoy you every day and make your life just that much more irritating - ENJOY :D

I wish that it was Saturday.

Granted, you jumped in time - so it's your first 18 hour working Saturday - enjoy the extra pro bono work!

I wish the weather's nice this weekend.

Granted.
The weather is nice for fish.

I wish I was the million dollar man

Granted, you're stuffed with a million of 1 Dollar coins which makes you unable to move and ultimately to survive.
I wish I knew what to wish

Granted.
you think of something really awesome and incorruptible.
too bad you wasted your wish :tai:

I wish for :sos:

And you have just become the radio operator on Titanic sending the :sos: signal with the water knocing at your cabin door.

I wish for a smaller kite.

The kite became so small, it got inside your body and into your bloodflow of your brain... then it became large again.

I wish I win!

You just won... an old, falling apart hut of a fisherman bordering a beach of a cold ocean.
I wish every day would be sunny

Welcome to the center of the sun, where it never, ever rains. <insert nefarious laughter>

I wish for the death of Calypso, and the end of the Twisted Metal tournament!

Granted; unfortunately it comes about by you winning the tournament and then strapping 200 pounds of C-4 to your chest and upon him congratulating you, you detonate the explosives and blow up Calypso, as well as a small chunk of the earth you loved so much. Oh yeah, and you die too.

I wish for a burrito so big that God couldn't eat it, and then I want to live to watch him try and eat the whole thing.

Granted, you now watch God eating the burrito.... in heaven.

I wish I had a bit more money at the moment.

Granted, you know have a bit more money, but not enough to buy anything useful.

I wish that I could drink more coffee.

granted. Your stomach is expanded ten fold and your bodies tolerance for caffeine increases by just as much. Unfortunately you are in a terrible car accident and they have to completely remove your lower jaw, tongue, and upper mandibles and seal up the hideous gash with skin from your left buttock. You live the rest of your life as a freak who has to be fed via an IV.

I wish to be as emaciated and disturbing but alive as the creepy dude in my avatar.

Granted. But you remain the frozen, cyber-picture that your avatar is.

I wish that I had the Nintendo Wii console, and it worked and was fun and I always used it to play the latest games :P

granted, but you get a little over zealous playing Tennis with the Wii-mote and it flies from your hand and smashes your TV and the glass shards slice your eyeballs and you are now blind so you can no longer see the screen to play your precious game.

Since he didn't make a wish Reamus's tongue falls out.

I wish ac/dc would go on tour here and I got to go and see them and it was awesome.

Granted, but it's the tour on which they play their latest album which sounds like a mix of backstreet boys and 50 cent.

I wish for more eggz.

Granted.
And you may join the eggheads now.

I wish it wouldn't be begin to freeze at night from now on ....... :/

granted, you now spend the nights thawing because you are completely frozen to the core.

I wish I hadn't forgotten to make a wish the first time.

Not granted.
Having no tongue you are unable to do more than hope, which might be enough for jesus, but not for this genie, brother.

@Tulac: I wished for awesome too! :wallbash:

Now I wish I had the power of a Jedi.
No midichlorians, thank you.
Just the Force.

Granted, you are now a jedi cat.

Btw are you saying that backstreet boys are not awesome? :blink:

I wish for chumloofah to think that backstreet boys are awesome.

Granted, and you are now a Backstreet boy. Chumloofah's new obsession leads him to stalk and, eventually, murder all of the Backstreet Boys, including you. What a shame.

I wish for a happy, happy birthday.

Granted. It is the happiest birthday anyone has ever had in the entire existence of mankind. Unfortunately every birthday after this one sucks and is incredibly disappointing because none of them could possibly live up to how great this one is, so to escape the depression you OD on heroin and die at the ripe old age of 20.

I wish for a special going away present.

Granted.
Your tongue in a jar.

I wish I had the discipline to end this tongue madness.

Granted, but no-one else does, so your tongue-stopping plans are foiled MWAHAHHAH.

I wish I was less stressed today.

Granted. You are less stressed, you are totally bored. Nothing happens and the whole day is dull. When you're home you think what a crappy day this has been and get drunk.


I wish for more scalable phoning solutions!

Granted.
You get your completely uninteresting wish, but your phone gets superglued to your ear.

By the way, Lulu's wish turned into a perfect day.
I wish I got the exact same result from this wish.

Congratulations, racer. You got it right. You wished the perfect wish. You have a very nice day. Enjoy it, because it is also your last. <Nefarious, diabolical, maniacal laughter>

I wish for a single atom of a single brick of the Great Wall of China to fall off in six years.

Granted. It does. Nothing happens to the wall. The atom get carried directly to you due to interregional winds and weather and whatnot. It turns into an isotope and starts the chainreaction of radioactive toxication in your body.


I wish for less duties to keep your life straight.

Granted.
Your duties decrease and my life shifts into an arc.
A high velocity arc on a collision course with your face, which explodes into powder upon impact.
I take your credit card(s) from the carcass.

I wish I knew what jesus would do.

Granted. It's perverted and now you're disillusioned.

I wish I wasn't so cross today.

Granted, you are square today.

I wish for a gagor.

And you get it and gag on it!

I wish that Fatty Arbuckle's gags were a bit better!

Granted, and now that you know, the old trickster set out to silence you

I wish the bank would get into gear and do their job

Granted, banks now rob people even more.

I wish for a better caek.

Granted, you get better cake, however, it is still not delicious.

I wish for all accountants to spontaneously combust.

Granted, the world is now in a financial crisis. GREAT JOB LULU! JEEESH...

I wish for another one to bite the dust.

Granted.
Somebody in some forsaken part of the world chews on some dust.
You don't know who it is or what they were trying to prove.
But know that until his dying day he will hate you.

I wish 1984 had a lovely, happy ending.

Granted, you are now in such a mental state you consider the ending of 1984 happy.

I wish for there to be less Big Brother on TV.

Granted. There's a lot less Big Brother and a lot more Creepy Uncle Frank Who Prefers To Be Called Aunt Bernice.

I wish I could speak Scottish Gaelic.

Granted. Now, you only speak scottish-gaelic, and you are unable to make a living due to it, then you spiral into a drug-induced narcotic oblivion, and finally kill yourself with bagpipes, ducktape, and a rabid squirrel.

I wish that a good leader would be elected to presidency in america, wouldn't die, wouldn't be replaced by someone worse(or at all), and wasn't the anti-christ OR satan. Also, he would be intelligent and knowledgable about all literacy and had an excellent vocabulary.

Granted.

2 secs after the election USA is nuked to dust.


I wish Lulu wasn't my passenger. She talks too much.

Granted. Now, Kathy Griffin is your passenger.

I wish for a better tomorrow.

P.S. Nuked counts as dying, but I'll let it go this time.

Granted, tomorrow will be slightly better, but not enough so you will actually notice and today and every day except tomorrow will be hell.

I wish I had almighty powers to set everything right, (as well as the will to to so, so no "but you use it for evil" and all that :P)

Granted.
Your first action is to set the Pisa tower right.
The local souvenir shops will all go broke, so the shop owners lynch you.

I wish 'nuked' wasn't considerated as killing by some nitpicking persons.

OK, the Ukrainian colonel in charge of a the nuclear missile silos doesn't think nuking means killing, so he launches a nuke with the coordinates of your house at the time he knows you're at home.

I wish I'm not close to your house when the nuke hits.

You're far far far away from my home when the launch occurs.
The electronics in the missile is so absolete that the missile deviates from his due course and heads precisely where you are, far far far away from my home.
May you enjoy the experience, it will be short but extremely intensive.


I wish Hellraiser's sequels were much better.

No prob - they just made a new 5D sequel that's really great. You go and watch it, but don't realize that 5D means you're now sucked in the movie and become the first victim and die the most horrible and agonizing death you can imagine.

I wish they made a movie entitles Freddy vs. My Little Pony

Granted. Your pony is brutally slaughtered while dreaming, and you are lynched by a furious animal rights group.

I wish I knew where my cap is.

Granted. You now know that it is lodged in the belly of the rancor. You try to get it back, but in doing so, you get eaten. But at least you have your cap while slowly being digested by a rancor.

I wish I owned a tamed orphan rancor that would attack anyone I commanded it to, but ONLY the people I command it to. Also, it would only move when I told it to, and was meticulous about where it stepped.

P.S. People die in a nuking process, so thats dying.

Granted , you get yor rancor.
It's tame, does all you say and is carefull where it puts his feet.
You can command it at your wishes.
You love it and it loves you.
You live happilly together.

T'll that day comes, that worldwide Nuke_Teh_Rancor_Day.
Your rancor gets nuked.
And as you always stay close to it you're also nuked to dust.


I wish chadtherodentslayer would stop nagging about his *People die in a nuking process, so thats dying*.

Granted. I nuke you both :)


I wish for good things today.

Granted.
Plenty good things happen to all of us, but not to you.
You have a hell of a day.
Your room is flooded.
Your PC burns out.
You break both your legs.
Your fingers are squeezed between a automatic door with a faulty security switch, so all your fingers are borked.
You break your jaw.
But yeah, plenty good things happen to all of us.................but not to you.

Tssssssssssssssss, ah the poor. :huh:


I wish they never made Hellraiser:Hellworld.
And more: I wish I didn't had to watch it yesterday evening.

Granted, you didn't. It's real. Welcome to hell.

I wish all will work out for all

Yup, all work out, so the whole world gets covered with everybody's sweat and you're the first to slowly drown in the fould smelling bodily fluid.

I wish you didn't have a cold at the time and could smell it.

Granted.
You can smell it too.

I wish for the infinite power of the ultimate gaylord, as implied by that guy at jk rowling's speech.
Preferably sans the anusses (anii?), but do what you got to do.

Granted. You have infinite power, not of a gay wizard, but of an asexual one. Enjoy :)

I wish the internet would behave itself.

Granted. 95% of us are never allowed to connect to the Internet again.

I wish I had more money with which to buy lunch today.

Granted.
You have just enough money to buy a take-away lunch.
It's taken away and eaten by a big mean street dog.
That big mean street dog also bites you.

I wish Fruit Pie Jones would have a bit more luck in his life.
The poor.

Granted.
He has more luck.
BAD LUCK!
He endures a week of losing his job and loved ones due to depression and alcohol abuse.
his misery is ended by a meteorite, that landed on him.

I wish all the poor children would smile!

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(chumloofah @ Oct 30 2007, 08:14 PM) [snapback]317772[/snapback]</div>You take a walk in the park, chumloofah, you don't watch your step and you slip over a banana peel, you go flat on your face, dislocating both hips and shoulders, breaking all your frontal teeth.

Luckily someone with a cam films this whole idiotic episode of yours and puts it up on youtube.
It's a hit.
All the children loves that crazy chumloofah and are smiling watching you going flat on ya face.

I wish that at least ONE of us wouldn't corrupt all those nice wishes.

You peeps are bÃ*Ã*Ã*Ã*Ã*Ã*Ã*Ã*Ã*Ã*Ã*Ã*Ã*Ã*Ã*Ã*Ã*Ã*Ã*Ã*Ã*Ã*Ã*Ã*Ã *Ã*Ã*Ã*Ã*Ã*Ã*Ã*Ã*Ã*Ã*Ã*d.

Granted. A spambot arrives, posts a poorly-spelled advertisement for male-enhancement drugs and/or cut-rate mortgages, does not corrupt a single wish, and is promptly banned. A subsequent investigation reveals that the bot posted from your IP address, so you won't ever get to see the fulfillment of your wish.

I wish these two clunky CRTs on my desk would be replaced by a pair of flat-panels.

Granted, A space station falls down from orbit flattening the CRTs, the desk and you.

I wish Tom Waits would come to play here and that I got to go to the concert.

Yay, Tom Waits concert time is here!
You go, of course.
All dressed up nicely, cleaned up, you're looking swell.


Oh my ...
The crowd gets in an uncontrolable stampede, you're crushed under thousands of feet .... your remains are a bloody pulp ......
Shame, real shame, tsssssssssssssssssssssssssssk.

I wish I could get one of those:
SkullTrail

You get one - shoved right up your behind!

I wish today was tomorow already!

Granted, every today is now the day after and you are always too late for everything

I wish they didn't blow up stuff outside my bedroom window (or inside the building)

Many genies would come up with something about them blowing things up inside your window.
Not this genie, brother!

Granted.
Nothing can blow up either without your window or within your building.
The consequences of this are many and ranging, but your most pressing is the seagulls.
Every seagull is fed solpadeine wrapped in bread, which resulted in their stomachs filling rapidly with gas.
Being unable to either fart or explode the seagulls, in excruciating torment, look for the source of their misery.
It's you.
Thousands of inflated seagulls invade your home, and they take your balls.
They take your balls!

I wish I had a nikon camera.

Granted, you had, but it got stolen and you miss it so you go completly insane.

I wish Vista didn't F up all that much

Granted. Now, it succeeds in taking control of your computer and using it to commit bad computer stuff, like pirating, and animal porn.

I wish nukes were never invented, because it KILLS a lot of PEOPLE, because when nukes hit, people DIE. THEY DIE. PEOPLE DIE FROM NUKES.

Granted, nukes have never been invented, they are non-existent.
In stead there are now nokies.
Those are small, and kill only one peep by one.
Guess who is the first victim of such nokie?
Yes, right, chadtherodentslayer is that victim.

I wish chadtherodentslayer would be slew by a rodent.

*chadtherodentslayer just got pwned by dosraider*

i wish i didnt have to copy paste chadtherodentslayer's name

Granted, now you type it out everytime. You get repetitive strain injury which turns into gangrene and all you fingers drop off.

I wish that my tooth didn't hurt.

Granted. Your tooth doesn't hurt.
Your teeth hurts now.

I wish I could see Lulu_Jane's eyes.

Granted, you see her eyes. Unfortunately she's related to Mr. Walker/The Phantom and thus you die.

I wish those critters across the yard didn't have to have their parties cranked up to volume 11 every weekend.

Granted. Instead of partying and all the youth-like whatnot, they become hippies and keep splashing animal blood on you and shouting song lyrics that have nothing to do with the situation at you every time you come out of your place of residence.

I wish that maybe, just maybe, The Rolling Stones would finally die. It's not that I don't like them, it's just that they must be suffering. Seriously, have you seen them recently? I mean, come on. They might actually be dead already, but it's not like anyone could tell. It's not personal, it's a mercy killing.

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(chadtherodentslayer @ Nov 4 2007, 09:55 AM) [snapback]318157[/snapback]</div>Granted.
They are nuked.
Fast and mercyfull.
The fallout is euuuuuurh falling out where you live.
Your death is horrific.
You die slowly and painfull.

The rodents are happy.


I wish someone would be so kind to scratch that itchy spot between my shoulders.

Nokies... Gahahahahaaaa!
Probably the best thing I've ever read ever.

Granted.
Tiger scratches it.
With hilarious consequences.

I wish I had a nokie.

They die, but because of their contract they have to perform at least 17.294 postmortem gigs and since it's you who wished them dead you have to be there all the time watching and SMELLING their corpses on stage being moved by puppeteers while listening to scratched old records used as the playback. (muck way too late)

You have it, but just one, whereas the rest of the population has at least three making you the laughing stock of the whole planet.

I wish I understood your nokie obsessions.

Granted.
You understand this obsession when you get a nokie shoved in your behind.
OUGH !!!

I wish that those tigers scratching between my shoulders were a lot more carefull regarding my poor ol'skin.

Granted.
Male tigers come from far and wide to massage your skin using the gayest oils and lotions.

I wish I owned my own battleaxe +1 :titan:

Granted, you lost the greataxe of dragonslaying +5 with 20 fireball charges instead.

I wish for a gagorella.

And some rotten gagorella is always hanging down both corners of your mouth making you look absolutely repulsive so nobody (not even the horniest lowlife bum who has intercourse with dirty sewer rodents just for fun) would ever want to be near you!

I wish they invented a teleportation device that could teleport all the idiots from Earth to some far off planet.

Granted.


Whoooooooooopsy, no humans on Earth anymore, we're all on a far far far away planet.
An enraged lynch mob hangs Sebatianos on a weird tree on a planet far far far away.

I wish that soft lovely female tigers would do a sensual massage between my shoulders on that @#@#@# itchy spot.

And there they are, three lovely soft gorgeous Bengali tigresses softly creep in your room, sharpen their claws and start scratching on that itchy spot... but don't stop until there's nothing more then countless threads of flesh left from your once live body. Now an old toothless tiger drags himself in the room and starts swallowing the fine shreds of meat that used to be you and turning it into really stinky old tiger poh-poh which will soon come out of it's nasty old tiger behind.

I wish people would show more respect to one another!

now every kid bows in front of you and kisses the feet. you get imprisoned for sexual harassment

i wish for peace of mind

Granted, however you don't posses a mind.

I wish for more cheese in cheeseburgers.

Granted, you are no given cheeseburgers with nothing but cheese. Cheese lettuce, cheese bun, cheese sauce, cheese instead of meat.... All the blandest Norvegia, and you are disgusted so much you live your remaining days screaming, wearing a straitjacket and everything around you looks and smells like cheese.

I wish the Danish burger chef was back in business making burgers.

Granted, but he dies. Cus he got NUKED. HE DIED IN A NUKING PROCESS. THE NUKE KILLED HIM. HE DIED FROM A NUKE!!!! NUKING IS KILLING!!!!!!!! PEOPLE DIE!!!!!!!!!!

I wish I wasn't so obsessive about this crap...

:hysterical: Yeah! Granted! GRANTED, I tell you! Now that you have nothing more to live for, you jump off a bridge somewhere in the wilderness, and noone will ever hear about you or the nukes again LOL

I wish my headphones gave me louder music!

Granted.
They also reproduce the lovely sound of gunshots.
Your both eardrums are blast away.
Even as your four tiny braincells.

I wish nukes would get the love and tenderness they need.