The End Of The World...

[Playbahnosh]

I think this is my last post to this forum. I'm goint to hang myself if I have the courage...

I guess some of you know I h...had(I explain) a girlfriend for 2 years. We vere together because...I don't know. After years of pain and sorrow in the love department I finally needed a girlfriend, and I found her. Naive, unknowing girl who was kept away from the world by her parent. Almost easy prey for my sorrow-hardened soul and mind. Finally, after 4 "no"s and a hard struggle against her I got through her thin shield. Through 2 years we were out to change each other to our liking, but none of us would change. We just struggled through 2 years because I havent got the courage to leave her and she just got used to me, but did not accept me as I were. We had no common interests, no common tastes, I smoke she hates it...and so on. From this September she gone to university to Budapest and I gone to Veszprém(2 hours trip with train). We got separated, we only met in weekend IF we met, and sometimes on the way home. Now, 3 months ago, she cheated on me, decieved me and lied into my face. We talked it over, she was sorry. I knew she didn't meant to do it, but she is still to naive and has not enough life experience, so I kinda felt sorry for her. We got used to each other in two years. I still didn't had the courage to leave her, but something was broken inside me aleady.

It started 2 months ago. I got to know a girl, Gabi. She is in the same dorm, only 2 rooms away. We get to know each other, we started to spend more and more time together, watching movies till dawn, listening to music together, talking...simply not doing anything but that was awesome. I was happier than ever in my entire life. She was nice to me, she was caring about me, she could be count on, she was everything I ever dreamed of. She just came over to my room to see me, she brought me my favorite chocklate(80% cocoa, mmm) without me making a move towards her. I was practicly shocked. And last thursday we finally broke the shield and fell into each others arms in the most unpredictable moment. First time in my life a girl fell in love with me, and so did I the same time. It was more than beautiful, she told me she has a boyfriend, but I didn't care, why should I, I was finally happy.

But the happiness lasted only for so long. After we made our move this monday was the beginning of hell. Her boyfriend started to become an obvious problem. He didn't knew about what is going on beetween me and Gabi. But this question was my death. After two days of struggle today she finally made her decision and with tears in her eyes she said she chooses her boyfriend rather than me. I felt she still loves me, but still she couldn't let go of her boyfriend. But the damage was done, in this very night I broke up with Anikó. I finally had the drive, the sorrow and the pain drowe me to do it. Right after that my very best friend called me on phone telling he broke up with her year long girlfriend painfully. After ca. two hours I saw my roommate and his girlfriend argue, and the girl left crying, my roomate in pieces. Right after all this I went out to the corridor and saw my dorm teacher argue with his boyfriend, and with "you finally did it!" shout the guy left, dear Niki crying.

I'm sadly not making this up. :cry: Life falls apart around me and I have lost all hope. Love is a lost cause what I have have been pursuing ever since. I was always nice and fair to people. What did I done to deserve this? :cry: and all this in my 20th birthday :cry:

I just had nobody to turn to. If I can't tell anybody, then I tell it to everybody... Please forgive me... but I just can't take it anymore... :cry:

This song describes this whole thing as I see, I was listening to it 2 days now but I finally understand the meaning... :cry:

Nightwish - Beauty Of The Beast

Trees have dropped their leaves,
Clouds their waters
All this burden is killing me

Distance is covering your way,
Tears your memory
All this beauty is killing me

Oh, do you care,
I still feel for you
Oh, so aware,
What should be lost is there

I fear I will never, never find anyone
I know my greatest pain is, is yet to come
Will we find each other in the dark
My long lost love

Oh, do you care,
I still feel for you
Oh, so aware,
What should be lost is there

Oh, do you care,
I still feel for you
Oh, so aware,
What should be lost is there

Safely away from the world
In a dream, timeless domain
A child, dreamy eyed,
Mother's mirror, father's pride

I wish I could come back to you
Once again feel the rain
Falling inside me
Cleaning all that I've become

My home is far but the rest it lies so close
With my long lost love under the black rose
You told I had the eyes of a wolf
Search them and find the beauty of the beast

All of my songs can only be composed of the greatest of pains
Every single verse can only be born of the greatest of wishes
I wish I had one more night to live

A saint blessed me, drank me deeply
Spitting out the misery in me
Still a sinner rapes a thousand saints
Sharing the same hell with me

Sanest choice in this insane world:
Beware the beast but enjoy the feast he offers

Sanest choice in this insane world:
Beware the beast but enjoy the feast he offers

All of my songs can only be composed of the greatest of pains
Every single verse can only be born of the greatest of wishes
I wish I had one more night to live

Christabel

"Oh, sweet Christabel. Share with me your poem.
For I know now, I'm a puppet on this silent stage show.
I'm but a poet who failed his best play.
A Dead Boy, who failed to write an ending
To each of his poems."

[omg]

dude. it doesnt take courage to kill yourself.i t takes courage to stay alive in the face of your life going to pieces. dont even think like that. not over a girl man, i know its a cliche but you will meet someone else. go and find some freinds. get wasted maybe, but then drink can often make things worst, but it will probally help u sleep so u dont lie there awake thinking about this muck.
please dont let this be your last post. if it is im going to be worrying u have done something extremely stupid.

[Kearnsy]

These are some very though times for you, but doesn't mean you should give up! Think of how this love came suddenly into your life, it will happen again.

Just remember that good things happen to good people.
Dont dwell on the past, look forward to the future.

[Playbahnosh]

I still don't know if I did the right thing breaking up with Anikó :cry: I know she wasn't a dream girlfriend but she was the only soild point in my life so far, now lost.... Maybe I did a horrible thing, hurting people.... I feel like...i don't know... pain... :cry:

[Blood-Pigggy]

Hey man.
I had to be stuck in a isolatory room for 3 days once.
At the end of that I was crazy, maddened, and of course, suicidal. That was because of some freakish experiment that I WANTED to go into.
I was fed of course, but considering it was for charity, I couldn't really have cared.

I'm not sayin' I had it worse off than what happened with you, but I'm not going to say that you're a stupid coward for wanting to take your own life.

But I'm NOT going to say it's brave.
There were Privates in WW2 that blew out their brains from the tension in the battlefield.
But still, 20,000 American soldiers, and twice as many British beached on Omaha.

Ninety percent of those walked onto the beach, machine gun fire mowed down a good eighty percent of them as the ramps came down.
Hell yes, they were afraid, but they didn't go and cry.
Most of those soldiers realized that they needed to move up or DIE. They noticed that if they didn't get the German first, none of them were going to get out, NONE of them would survive, and forsaking your own life beforehand would've made sense.
Except it wouldn't have. Even though a good thousand of those soldiers fell on Omaha, a good bit of thousands marched up and overtook the bunkers.

They were all afraid, they were all sodden, trashed, and without a better word, screwed over.
They were going to have to march through rain drenched Europe, through muddy roads, and always under the watchful eye of Axis snipers.

This is just a crappy metaphor or analogy as you would wish it.
But surviving is truly a better fight, with a better outcome. However you may believe it, if you're going to fight through your horrid and agonizing moments, you'll truly fight for the better cause, you'll get through the bad, to reach the good.
There's a goal for everything, just like those soldiers in Omaha or Merderet, they fought because they knew that if they could just get through the war, everything would be better for the rest of man.
Freedom from tyranny in Germany, the Holocaust that fell over the Jewish would be destroyed, and all those German soldiers that had to suffer the same horrors (many of them were drafted, just like many Allied soldiers).

Just think about that.
It's your choice man. And the thing is, OMG is right, you will find someone else. And as he said, it is a cliche, but there are lots of other people out there, don't let a few arguments or breakups let that get in your way.

Your life is your own and whatever the hell made that life, just because someone else is jerky about your feelings, don't let it come over you.

[cheesegrater]

No

[allyfaucet]

Facing your challenges and taking courage through adversity is--by far--the best move and strength in character that you will have. I know the feelings you're going through right now, but don't get that desparate. omg is right, you need friends. You should try and get busy with your life, focus more on schoolwork, get involved in something to help other people, spend time with good friends for easy fun. You can do it, don't be silly and waste your life and so much potential over a girl and some problems. It's not worth it.

[ReamusLQ]

Girls are never worth it...no matter how special you think they may be (unless of course, you are married or something close to that)

[Sebatianos]

Play, friend, do not despare. I haven't much time to go into detail, so I'll post a complete reply later (or maybe even through PM), but I just want you to know something that life is a very strange and often cruel adventure. One you simly have to stick out 'till the end to really enjoy. You are at a very difficult stage obviously, but hiding from problems and pain (yes, killing yourself is nothing the running and trying to hide) can not be the solution. The worst thing that can happen to somebody is to loose hope, so do not despair.

Sorry for the shallownes of this post, I will give you my full reply later on today (I promise).

I know this may seem like only a feible attempt of comforting, but here goes:
For Play(ing) (http://www.abandonia.com/~sebatianos/Everybody%20Hurts%20-%20Paul%20Anka.mp3)

BTW: Are Gabi and Edina the same person (or were there more girls you've met there and had such an experiance with)?

[#BlakhOle#]

You think too much playbahnosh. just try to push it to the back of your mind, put on a smile, and just keep waking up in the morning, knowing that some force of nature put you on the face of the earth for a reason. You may not know what that reason is yet, but you will one day. Maybe Gabi will realise just what she left and come back, or her other boyfriend will find another girl or something. Maybe he'll commit suicide, and Gabi will feel shes got nowhere to go, then you move in for the kill! nicely of course... Who knows what tomorrow will bring.

[Eagle of Fire]

Reading someone who says he's going to suicide is probably the thing I read most often overall on the whole internet.

I'm not impressed. Try to get attention in another way, it will be more constructive. Or fight back your problems. Just don't whine about suicide, you're losing me at the start this way.

[Partizanka]

Shades of "Do me a favore"

The first abandonware community based suicide?

Play your cards right, and ytwmd.com will be making annoying websites about you for years to come.

[gregor]

You know what they say: "There is plenty of fish in the sea..."

So start fishing again. IF you have a problme find some runes to go with it :D

you think you are the only one with problems? when i was your age i had a similar problem but i never got that far to actualkyl even have a gilrfriend. was always denied over their boyfriends. but when they wanted to be friends i told them to talk to the hand. if she doesn't want me i have nothing to do with her then...
was feeling kind of strange cause everyone and everygirl thought i was alike playboy switching partners, while in fact i enevr even had any. at that point i came to conclusion and i resolved to math. there is 5 billion people in this world of which i think about 60% are women. which means everyone can get two. approximatelly.

so if they dont' like me here in my "circle" maybe they will somewhere else. so i went online a bit found out that a lot of girls there wanted to meet me (which is not far from real life) only these could actually be with me. but all this time i was exchanging very long e-mails with a very cute girl. she was great cause we both like similar things and soon there were sms and phone calls and finnaly i visited her. i didnt' have much expectations since i know how these distance relationships are. but hey it turned out she was even better. if she wasn't i might have tried with another one from the others who desperatelly wanted to meet me in person.


to make long story short - i did the right thing not to loose my head over some stupid girls.

makes me feel great because i know it was their loss not mine :max:

[velik_m]

I think this is my last post to this forum. I'm goint to hang myself if I have the courage...


just make sure the rope isn't too long, you don't want to make a fool of yourself by failing at suicide!

[Grinder]

It doesn't take courage to commit suicide. It takes selfishness.
I can see why you're devastated, but suicide is just not the right way.
Somebody said something some time ago that could help you.
Don't fight the bad things in life, find the good ones! They are everywhere! Don't spend your life fighting for goals you can never reach! Live for the moment!
Find the good ones! They are everywhere! And this is coming from a guy who said in an internet forum that he was thinking about suicide. Be optimistic. Don't do it, man.

[Scatty]

First of all, are Gabi and Aniko the same girl or two different? If that's two girls, how did you come to break up with Aniko if it's Gabi you met two months ago and who was so good to you?
And if you accept an advice, whatever girl it is that you met two months ago and are so shattered about now, if you love her then go and get her back. Stop to cry here, be a man and tell her that you love her. No woman/girl will stay deaf to the calls of a true love, and from how you described her, she seems like a girl with a good heart. If you do nothing, you probably won't see her again. Let her know that you love her, and I bet you love her more than that boyfriend of her, but don't cry at her like you do here, as that's the worst thing you can do, she'll be just disgusted. Be just yourself, stop crying, go and ask her if she would return to you as you love her more than anything in the world, that for the first time you met someone who you love so much (you do, don't you? If not, you'll be lying and regret it later) and that you don't want to give her and this love up.
Good luck, mate :bye:

[Sebatianos]

Say Scatty, how old are you? Because sorry to say, but what you described sounds more like a scenario of a sweet-teen Hollywood drama-romance-comedy...

I don't wish to talk about Play's problems, but no, Aniko and Gabi aren't the same girl.

[Scatty]

So you propose instead that he lets her go, the one who is from his words the best friend he met yet, and searches for someone other? Do you actually have an idea what love is? But without blowing this theme up here, let's say - everyone is different, and someone as earthly as you wouldn't care, while others who have more emotions in them would go back and not give their love so easily up.
If one is as dry like you, loads of girls will pass along in life and never return. I say if there is real love, then hold it and don't give so easily up, instead of committing a suicide. If there's no love but just some game, it's even less worth it to commit suicide because of it.

[Quintopotere]

Originally posted by Playbahnosh@Feb 1 2006, 12:16 AM
I still don't know if I did the right thing breaking up with Anikó :cry: I know she wasn't a dream girlfriend but she was the only soild point in my life so far, now lost.... Maybe I did a horrible thing, hurting people.... I feel like...i don't know... pain... :cry:
I know that now you are depressed and so on, but you don't have to tormentate yourself!
Every one sometimes made horrible things to the others, expecially to those who he love... but life goes on and everyone choose his way! The time cancel the pain!

You found two girls who loved you in some way: you'll find a third one! I'm sure of this...
And you know that falling in love it's so simple...

I have to say you that no person could be an absolute solid point! You can love the others, you could give them your life, but you mustn't think that they are you life!

I don't know how much serious you are in writing the first post, but if you were living near me I wuold come to kick you until you become reasoning again! (obviously that's a metaphor).

[The Fifth Horseman]

it doesnt take courage to kill yourself.i t takes courage to stay alive in the face of your life going to pieces.
I second that, since I've been through such a situation myself. Suicide is cowardice - an attempt to escape the problems, not solve them.

[Sebatianos]

Originally posted by Scatty@Feb 1 2006, 02:39 PM
So you propose instead that he lets her go, the one who is from his words the best friend he met yet, and searches for someone other? Do you actually have an idea what love is? But without blowing this theme up here, let's say - everyone is different, and someone as earthly as you wouldn't care, while others who have more emotions in them would go back and not give their love so easily up.
If one is as dry like you, loads of girls will pass along in life and never return. I say if there is real love, then hold it and don't give so easily up, instead of committing a suicide. If there's no love but just some game, it's even less worth it to commit suicide because of it.
1) I've talked to Playbahnosh about this through many PMs while the situation was happening (months ago).
2) Never confuse friendship with love. Guys and galls can be just friends without love being involved.
3) You obviously don't even know what Play's problem is - otherwise you'd be at least able to keep track who Play was with and left and who did he meet and spend great time with, but never was a couple.
4) Just out of curiosity - how old are you? How much life have you seen? I'm 27 and about to get married - and I'm still very young and don't know half the things there are to the mystery of love, but no I'm not all dry as you put it - just realistic.

Want me to go on?

And to the rest:

If Playbahnosh is really on the edge of despair, you should not mock him, nor should you take the situation lightly. Hearthache is something you must go through yourself to understand (at least a part of it), not something you simply know something about by having a month long romance.

But if you don't believe he is having problems and are still posting here, then you're just spaming and trolling.

[Playbahnosh]

Hey, don't fight over me guys, not worth it, really :). Okay I was so under there when I wrote that first post. I wasn't actually thinking of killing my self, I felt the burden was about to kill me, and I drop dead on the floor and my heart stops forever. Actually I wanted that to happen, but to kill myself is not my style really. So sorry about the aggreavated things I said. :(

Okay, to clear things up:

Edina was just a thought Seb, nothing else, and nothing else happened with her, we are great friends and she is in a harmonic relationship for 4 years now.

Anikó um...was my girlfriend for 2 year but we never really suited to each other. We stayed together just because I wanted that way and didn't really knew what to expect from a girlfriend as she was my first, but now she got used to me too and caring about me lately, but not the way I always weanted. She is a nice girl but she has far less life experience to be 19 y.o., she rather seems 14-16. I don't hate her, quite the contrary I care about her still. I called her and told her that this thing beetween us was sentenced to death sooner or later and never really worked(the truth basicly). She gone crying and saying she wants to be with me and she loves me and stuff, but I just know I wouldn't be as happy with her as I want to. I told her to go out, have friends, pick up men, go live her life finally, gather experience, and then in the summer we will talk thing over. Practicly I put this relationship "on hold" until summer. Is that too stupid? :tomato:

Gabi is very complicated and wonderful matter. She was the first gilr to fall on love with me (she never said so, but her eyes and actions just can't lie). On that Thursday night I saw that flame in her eyes, and when we kissed each other it was more than simple attraction. I went home for the weekend from the dorm, but we exchanged thousands of PMs over phone telling she is missing me and longing for my touch again. On Sunday I went back to the dorm, and almost suddenly we were in bed. But this monday she said all this was simple phisical attraction and she only wanted to "try me out". Well, I don't know, but when you simply want to go to bed with some you don't caress the other's hair romanticly, you don't spend countless nights with watching movies and listening to music with him, simply having a good time. And then exchange countless SMSs telling him you long for his touch and miss him very much. And she gave me my favorite chocklate as a gift from nowhere. When I had no money with me to buy a ticket she didn't asked if she can lend me money, she asked how much. And I saw the pain in her eyes trying to decide if she should come with me and leave a soild boyfriend with money n' stuff. She is older than me, 4 years. She said she is thorugh many break-ups and she don't want to break up again, she has a normal boy with normal parents finally and she must look in the future. But she DID thought that what if she comes with me and leave that all behind. Why did she do that if she does not love me?

Today when I was going to get my exam results, she came to me on the dorm corridor and wished me well for the results. We were just standing there for 10 minutes not saying anything, just looking in eachothers eyes, and suddenly she came close and her nose touched mine, almost kissed me :o. Not I really don't know what to think. When I phoned her an hour ago she sounded happier than life that I called her, even if yesterday she told me she'll stick with her boyfriend... :/

Oh Lord, why is this so complicated? What should I do to make this right?... :(

[Scatty]

Originally posted by Sebatianos@Feb 1 2006, 02:02 PM

1) I've talked to Playbahnosh about this through many PMs while the situation was happening (months ago).
2) Never confuse friendship with love. Guys and galls can be just friends without love being involved.
3) You obviously don't even know what Play's problem is - otherwise you'd be at least able to keep track who Play was with and left and who did he meet and spend great time with, but never was a couple.
4) Just out of curiosity - how old are you? How much life have you seen? I'm 27 and about to get married - and I'm still very young and don't know half the things there are to the mystery of love, but no I'm not all dry as you put it - just realistic.

Want me to go on?

And to the rest:

If Playbahnosh is really on the edge of despair, you should not mock him, nor should you take the situation lightly. Hearthache is something you must go through yourself to understand (at least a part of it), not something you simply know something about by having a month long romance.

But if you don't believe he is having problems and are still posting here, then you're just spaming and trolling.
I'm as old as you, and I've been through "heartache" myself extensively enough so I know what I'm talking about.
No, I'm not on track of what is happening with Playbahnosh, I just saw his thread and posted in attempt to help him as good as I can and know. You seem to know better what's going on. But just because you think you're realistic doesn't mean that other opinions are wrong. Love takes a lot of caring and understanding, and going the way of "forget her, you'll meet others yet" is the best way to destroy love. Giving advice on how to get someone he loves back can also hardly be called as "mocking". Seeing it that way you can say then that others who posted here also mock him, risking to offend someone.

Edit: @Play - you know that she loves you. She's still unsure if to return to you. If you love her, go to her, convince her that you love her and remind her on how beautiful it was between you and her. Don't give here up.

[Shrek]

Originally posted by Sebatianos@Feb 1 2006, 03:02 PM
2) Never confuse friendship with love. Guys and galls can be just friends without love being involved.
That's one of my "moto's", Seb, you just said it all there.

Now, Playbahnosh, this is all about life: meeting people, fall in love, be happy, break up, suffer and feeling miserable like if anyone likes you. Cheer up, raise your chin... remember the good moments, take your lessons from the bad ones. Having bad moments in life will only make us appreciate more and more the good ones.

Your heart will be broken lots and lots of times - I can tell you mine was - it is how you can deal with it that makes you strong, and that's what you should be now: strong

I read this some time ago, somewhere I don't recall, but I thought it was pretty and never forgot it, I hope it makes any sense to you:
"Don't cry because you can't have the Sun at night, because your tears will not let you see the beauty of the Stars"

[cheesegrater]

It doesn't take courage to commit suicide. It takes selfishness.

Yes, and you are a noble human being.

People are selfish. If people wen't selfish there wouldn't be so much suffering in the world.

When people are sad because you died they are not sad because they are sorry for you. They are sad because they can no longer use you to their own benefit. You are no longer to enternain THEM. It is becasue of selfishness.

I think most people are not in a position to judge people who kill themselves and call them names like "cowards".

However, if you have children and you kill yourself you are being disrespectful to yor kids.

You did not ask to be born. You are going to die anyways. When you are 40, homless, and picking through garbage. What is the point of continuing to live if the life ahead of you is only pain?

[Playbahnosh]

Okay this topic is going way off the track if it even had one. I don't want to talk about suicide anymore it was...just that....a stupid, unthought comment...

Okay, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have come here and just unleash all this muck on you guys, after all you did nothing to deserve it. I feel terribly ashamed that I done that. I failed as a human and I really did it to you guys this time. I just couldn't keep all this inside me, sorry that I didn't had the strenght. :(

[Menasor]

hmm..yea thats why i like to keep a lot of my personal problems in me rather then tell the world...at the time it seems like the right thing to do...but when u snap out of it...you feel like the biggest idiot...ive woken up so many times in the middle of the night kicking myself for even mentioning stuff...oh well, im not saying ur an idiot...but as long as you got it out and (hopefully) over it...dont feel bad abt it...it was good entertainment for me :)

[Playbahnosh]

Originally posted by Menasor@Feb 1 2006, 06:17 PM
...it was good entertainment for me :)
hhhhh.... at least somebody enjoyed it :cry:

[Menasor]

LOL...good entertainment as in the replies you got from it, not the actual hanging thing...some of the replies were outright hilarious...

[Sebatianos]

Originally posted by Scatty@Feb 1 2006, 05:38 PM
Love takes a lot of caring and understanding, and going the way of "forget her, you'll meet others yet" is the best way to destroy love. Giving advice on how to get someone he loves back can also hardly be called as "mocking". Seeing it that way you can say then that others who posted here also mock him, risking to offend someone.
Yes, love does take caring, but when I read your first post here I really thought you were just telling me about a teen movie (something like 100 girls or something). Sorry if you felt offended by that - I didn't want to offend you, but I really did have a feeling you're just a kid who doesn't know any better. I apologize to you.

When I posted that thing about everybody else - I wasn't saying they are all making fun of Playbahnosh, but some people were, so I was telling them not to. If something serius happens, no-one should make fun of it, or simply post something without really knowing what's it all about (there's no need to reply in every single topic).

And now back to topic...
Play, it seems like there might be a problem. You said she's older then you. She might really like you, she may have even fallen in love with you (probably did), but obviously she is worried. I asume she's about to finish her studies and get a job (probably even start a family). If she changes partners (goes with you) her plans may fall apart (or will at least be delayed). That's a really difficoult step (if not impossible) for her to take. If you push the issue she may turn against you. The best you could do is stand by and maybe she'll gather enough courage to leave her boyfriend. Then you'll see. Forcing a relationship to happen (even if two people are deeply in love) is never a good thing.

[Grinder]

Seb is right, Playbahnosh. You can't force her, even if she loves you. Everything you can do now is wait, focus on the good sides of life, hang out with friends, have fun, and maybe later you can talk to her about this. You said yourself she wasn't entirely happy about chosing her bf over you. Well, just give her some time. You both need to get your minds of this. And maybe, in half a year, call her or something and just talk, no pressure. Maybe you'll both feel better in some time. The only thing we can do about this is give advice and support you, but on your own time, you must do without other people. And don't be ashamed of talking to us about this, some guys you barely know, because all of us who have been through a fairly similar situation know how painful this can be. So just take your time to calm down and do something you've always liked to do. We can only wish you good luck in your further life - may you find the good things in life - they're everywhere. Cheer up! :ok:

[Playbahnosh]

I understand this Seb. She was talking about just this. I know she only has one or two years left until she graduates, but that doesn't mean that love must be swept aside because of this. I don't know how long she has this bf of her's, but I remember hearing only half year. She herself said she is and easy-come-easy-go kinda girl and she just can't stop. It's in her blood as she said.:/ She said she had 7 temptations since she has Peter(calling him on his name). I'm the 7th actually. Anyway, I really don't think a relationship is going good if you already had 7 temptations, now does it?:/ Maybe it's just me but if I tempted to go off with another person when I still have one, that somebody is just not right. But that's just me. And if I'm correct about that half-year, this is not a settled in relationship. Yes, maybe she spends a lot of time at Peter's (mostly nights), and she is in good with his parents and stuff, but still, half-year is not that much and she were already tempted to leave him not once.

EDIT: Maybe it would be better for me to wait, as you say. But the thing is, she is on the same university as I am, and in the same dorm, only 2 doors away. It's unavoidable for us to meet, almost daily. And I just can't walk past her like nothing had happened and I don't feel a thing towards her, I just can't. Even if I don't mention this thing to her for a long time and we act like friends, both of us knows what's up...
I fear only one thing, that she will fully move to Peter's to avoid me(and future "temptations"), she spends most of her free time there anyway...

One thing is for sure, I just don't want to remain as one of the temptations on her list and swept under the carpet like she did with the last 6. I just can't take that embarassement, to be dumped like a trashcan on the landfill, and be forgotten. I just can't experience that again...

[Sebatianos]

Oi, this may actually be more serious. She may be a temptress. If you are number 7, who's to say there will be no number 8? I'm sorry to tell you this my friend, but even if she leaves Peter and starts a relationship with you - will she stay with you, or will she just have you for a while and then break your heart (if she really is an easy-come-easy-go girl). Can you really hope for something stable with her then? I know this may sound harsh, but I think it's better you hear it now, then when it's too late. The pain of being with her (and she cheating on you) and then loosing her altogether would be much worse. Are you sure she is worth risiking having such a relationship?

[Playbahnosh]

She told me she is tired of break-ups. And she tried to scrub me with she is not a kind girl, and she is temptress, and nobody could hold her for very long. I just think I can hold her, if I was capable of holding Anikó who doesn't wanted to be with me in the beginning at all, quite the contrary... I say, a second in heaven worth more then an ethernity in hell... If she decides to go in the end, and I did EVERYTHING to hold her, I just book it as a failure and cry, but if I never try I'll never know, this is what I said to her too, she doesn't know what she would miss if she don't try...

[Scatty]

Then tell that to her, not to us ;)

[Playbahnosh]

I told it to her actually.

You know what the funny thing is? We are excangeing PMs in Vodafone Messanger even as we speak. She still acts like she has a feel for me, even if she doesn't say it, but those subtle details are hard to miss for me. She is too kind to be wanting to leave me behind, if she would really want that, she won't send me nothing at all, but she does actually...

[Sebatianos]

Well, you know her best (in fact none of us even know who she is, so...), but I just want to warn you about something else.

Are you sure she's sending you subtle hints, or is she just acting the wa she is and you see some hints, because you wanna see them? Answer that for yourself.

I'll just repeat to what I said in the PM:
Let your heart decide what to do and your brain how to do it. Good luck! :ok:

[Playbahnosh]

True. Maybe I really wanna see them. But once on Thursday she said I have the eyes of a dragon. A wise and truthful, wonderful beast, as I know (she is into the fantasy theme herself, she just won a prise with one of the Skavens she made). I sent her some lyrics to subtly push her, but not too obviusly. Now here's a transscript from our chat tonight(I translated it for easy understanding):

Playbahnosh (18:02): Distance is covering your way/Tears your memory/All this beauty is killing me

Oh, do you care,
I still feel for you
Oh, so aware,
What should be lost is ther

Playbahnosh (18:03): Safely away from the world
In a dream, timeless domain
A child, dreamy eyed,
Mother's mirror, father's pride


Playbahnosh (18:03): I wish I could come back to you
Once again feel the rain
Falling inside me
Cleaning all that I've become

Gabi (18:58): these lyrics are cool. btw I got the TXTs you sent me B). I'm finally home now... B)

Playbahnosh (19:30): Good for you, you can unwind, I'll have an exam on Friday. We could talk really ;). Especially now when you left before I got back to dorm...;)

Gabi (19:46): sure, we could talk. You will unwind after Friday. BTW are you learning? ;)

Playbahnosh (19:52): Learning, heh, my mind is storming, but about you not the exam...;)

Playbahnosh (20:21): "You told I had the eyes of a wolf
Search them and find the beauty of the beast(nightwish)" Call me when you like...;)

Gabi (20:40): Not wolf,dragon ;)


So this is it until now. Is it just me? well maybe... But I'm partial in this matter...

[gufu1992]

Cheer up love :wub: sucks :not_ok:
You got life yeah! Why die then? :crazy:
relax and drink something :cheers:

[kajjj]

love is only a chemical reaction...so they say
anyway, I can't coun't how many times I was unlucky with locating feelings

I can tell u one thing: if u thought that was a right thing to do, u were right

you're subconciousness is always right

[Scatty]

Simplier said - listen to your heart, or you inner voice.

[gufu1992]

:ot: I'll drink to that sir... :cheers: :drunk:

(on topic)Eh, It'll take time...

[Playbahnosh]

hmm...I think I had some great experience :D Gabi called me and we spoke almost 4 hours :D I think she finally gave it in to me. I'm not entirely sure yet but this call was the glory of the day :D She was saying "I don't knoow..." many times, but smiling(you can hear that), and she was so nice, funny and caring all along. I was saying that now I just can't sleep until she gets back to the dorm, and she said I should really sleep. Then I asked "Ow, you care fore me?;)" and she answered in an unmistakable tone "I care for you..". I dunno guys, I don't want to rush into conclusions, but I have a slight feeling, this time that balance finally turned out to my favor and my luck changes... I'm not all happy, but I'm getting exited. I'll see, if the thing lasts if I call har tomorrow, and more if she gets back on Sunday...um...:D

Actually you were alll right at some point. I'm not actually pushing her into this, I just subtly showed her my feelings and nature, and she responded with great anticipation. And I did not let her on her own neither, but when we were talking, I sensed that she just forgot Peter entirely, at least the time we were talking. I think I can hear the ice breaking ;)

[Iron_Scarecrow]

Sounds like things are going well again, but you must also be prepared for dissapointment again. No doubt she likes you, but she is at a stage where she has to start looking forward, she is with someone with money, as you said, and she has to decide what is best for her future.

Sounds harsh but it's very possible.

[gregor]

Originally posted by kajjj@Feb 1 2006, 09:28 PM

you're subconciousness is always right
not really. because it can only process information you have gathered. It is right but its being right is based on information you had received. since no one has all information we could only say that it is probably more right then concious mind. that is if the subject is not having any disease.

and even if you are right it doesn't mean that things turn out like you want them to. like you could be very right that a girl cares for you, doesn't want to see you with other girls (becomes jelous), yet when you ask her out she will use her boyfriend as an excuse not to go out with you.


that just pisses me off!!!! :ranting:

[#BlakhOle#]

Originally posted by Playbahnosh@Feb 2 2006, 12:22 AM
hmm...I think I had some great experience :D Gabi called me and we spoke almost 4 hours :D I think she finally gave it in to me. I'm not entirely sure yet but this call was the glory of the day :D She was saying "I don't knoow..." many times, but smiling(you can hear that), and she was so nice, funny and caring all along. I was saying that now I just can't sleep until she gets back to the dorm, and she said I should really sleep. Then I asked "Ow, you care fore me?;)" and she answered in an unmistakable tone "I care for you..". I dunno guys, I don't want to rush into conclusions, but I have a slight feeling, this time that balance finally turned out to my favor and my luck changes... I'm not all happy, but I'm getting exited. I'll see, if the thing lasts if I call har tomorrow, and more if she gets back on Sunday...um...:D

Actually you were alll right at some point. I'm not actually pushing her into this, I just subtly showed her my feelings and nature, and she responded with great anticipation. And I did not let her on her own neither, but when we were talking, I sensed that she just forgot Peter entirely, at least the time we were talking. I think I can hear the ice breaking ;)
hooray! :Brain: the first real-life situation ive encountered that even comes remotely close to that of the Holliwoods soppy fairytale teen love stories! Im sick to death of seeing that sort of stuff on telly and knowing that it never actually happens... :not_ok:

[Grinder]

Originally posted by #BlakhOle#@Feb 2 2006, 08:02 AM
hooray! :Brain: the first real-life situation ive encountered that even comes remotely close to that of the Holliwoods soppy fairytale teen love stories! Im sick to death of seeing that sort of stuff on telly and knowing that it never actually happens... :not_ok:
You're weird.

[Grinder]

It's good to see you're back on track, Playbahnosh. That thing with the Hollywood love story is actually kind funny. Because the sub-title of this topic is "Love is lost forever...".

EDIT: Sorry for the double post, I had a problem with the internet connection, and I posted twice without knowing.

[Playbahnosh]

Well, I'm not actually back on track yet. She keeps teasing me, that "what if I get a cute librarian on the Indian Consulate?;)" BTW she has a friend there...

Hollywood love stories always have a happy end. Now I kinda want it to become a hollywood lovestory :D

[#BlakhOle#]

Originally posted by Playbahnosh@Feb 2 2006, 10:25 AM
Hollywood love stories always have a happy end. Now I kinda want it to become a hollywood lovestory :D
Well maybe you could become a movie director and make big budget soppy chik-fliks, then she'd definitely like you coz youre "the one" and youve got lots of munny... :w00t: and by the way how does not liking soppy fairytale movies make me weird. :blink: its not my fault they make me feel emotionally sick... :sick:

[Playbahnosh]

yeah, those sloppy one of a thousand movies look incredibly awful, but if you are actually IN one of them ,is a lot more changes your sight of the matter.

I don't know I still have no idea how to act until Sunday. Maybe I will fall for the Lure Of The Temptress(pun intended:D)...

Damn, this waiting is getting more and more heavy :tai: And its only Thursday! :tai:

[Partizanka]

So no one is going to kill themselves? I shall be forced to take matters in to my own hands.


Vote for Seb, or your family will find your suicide note written in your own blood!

[Playbahnosh]

Why do S.O.-s come trolling in my thread always? *sigh* well....

[plague]

Good, you got grip to sanity again. Two people who I have known didn't do it... It was nice to see over two hundred people crying at the same time when I went to school.

[Playbahnosh]

well I don't consider that kinda thing nice....

EDIT: my (i think is appropiate to say, but I just can't get used to it) ex-gf Anikó called me. I told her EVERYTHING that happened with Gabi, honestly. She shouted in the phone how she hates me and slammed down the phone. :( honesty is not a good thing? I was always straight to people, tried to remain loyal to my own beliefs, but is seems honesty is a sin in this goddam world :(

[Fruit Pie Jones]

I know nothing about the situation other than what I've read in this thread (although I seem to recall another thread a few months back). That said, do you remember how it felt when your ex cheated on you? And now you're considering getting involved with a girl who has admitted that she "just can't stop" doing the same thing?

Be careful, Play.

[Playbahnosh]

True FPJ. And yes, there was another thread about me going haywire over Anikó, damn :tai: And you are right with that "can't stop" thing, but I'm at least willing to try. Gabi herself asked me that very question.

And she also asked that how could I trust her after all this. I only answered that everybody starts clean-sheet with me.
uhh, I read in ReamusLQ's sig "You can't achieve the impossible without attempting the absurd." or something like that. Well I'm about to do just that :) . I will do everything to surface the good left in her and not the bad. If I can keep her for enough time without her noticing it, she will never leave. She asked why I am so sure I can keep her, and I only answered "you'll see" with a mysterious smile :) And she got all exited :D I think she likes it when I'm mysterius and she want's to know what I have to offer. Actually, I don't know what should I do to keep her, but to have a concept is one step further, no? :D

[Playbahnosh]

(Sorry it seems there is some database problem with the site, My browser gone haywire and I sent this 3 times. Please dele this post)

[Playbahnosh]

(and this too)

[Playbahnosh]

(and this one too, boy this is bad :tomato: )

[Grinder]

:D Had that problem too, today.
Anyway, I say you get things clean with Aniko. You know now how she felt when she told you she cheated on you. Just tell her everything you need to tell her, but calmly.

And plague, I didn't quite understand what you said about those two you knew. Please explain it to me...if that's not weird for you.

[Playbahnosh]

Originally posted by Grinder@Feb 2 2006, 10:30 PM
:D* Had that problem too, today.
Anyway, I say you get things clean with Aniko. You know now how she felt when she told you she cheated on you. Just tell her everything you need to tell her, but calmly.

And plague, I didn't quite understand what you said about those two you knew. Please explain it to me...if that's not weird for you.
She didn't told me that actually, I found that out myself. I was actually spoken with the guy she cheated me on. He told me everything. He is good dude and now we are friends, weird isn't it? She only told me her side of the story AFTER I confronted her with chat transscripts beetween she and the guy (the transscripts I got from the dude). But then she was lying in my face. So she was out to trying to hide that thing from me, thus taking me for an absolute moron and making me look like an idiot. I had to practically pull the whole thing out of her with force(verbal). I was the IDIOT to give her another chance <_<

Yes I told her the whole thing with Gabi, I thought it's only fair. But she just slammed the phone in my face and banned me on MSN. Well, why should I cripple myself? She were the one cheating on me and now she can't take it back on her? Pathetic...

What "the two you know" do you mean? Please explain. Then I'd be happy to clear things out for you...

[Tulac]

Well if that is so, why'd you feel bad about Aniko in the first place, the way your posting now, it's like you almost needed an excuse to get out of the relationship...

[Playbahnosh]

Yeah, I guess you are right Neven. Somewhere I needed an excuse to leave her for good. I feel stupid....

[Scatty]

Why stupid? Aniko was rather using you, and left you by the first opportunity that came up, lying to you afterwards. You even didn't need to tell her about Gabi but to entirely stop to contact her, and that would be pretty ok if you ask me. But as she got to know about you and Gabi she became upset that she wasn't able to hold you at her side anymore like she wanted. Don't you see how actually bad she is?
You don't need to feel stupid that you needed an excuse to leave her, if she didn't leave you not long ago, she would do that sometime later anyway and without telling you. Might sound a little selfish what I wrote here, but sometimes you need a healthy portion of selfishness to shield yourself from others, as otherwise you would be hurt and hurt and that aches...

[Grinder]

I meant how Plague said that he knew two people who didn't do it, and then everyone cried at the same time or something. I really didn't get it.
Scatty might be right, though. From everything you told us. She could have been just using you.

[Playbahnosh]

I think you guys are right. She was using me all along and tried to contol me. I called her yesterday and we agreed on a case fire, everybody goes on his/he own way and we won1t harass each other. this chapter is over...

But Gabi became my biggest issue. She seems more and more like avoiding me, getting content. She is still nice and caring, but I feel a certain decrease in her emotions. Jeez, I don't know if I can hold out until Sunday :tai:

[Iron_Scarecrow]

Well she has two people to think of. Before she would have been getting caught up in her feelings of you, now I'd say her feelings for the other guy have caught up so she has backed off a little.

She is most likely very, very confused right now. You'll have to be patient with her.

[Playbahnosh]

Yeah you may be right Crow. But the thing is I havent heard about Peter since monday, so I don't know what's up(or was, maybe) beetween them :huh: Gabi didn't speak about him by herself, and I didn't asked (for obvious reasons). I can only guess what is happening beetween them, but I feel(fear?) nothing, that they are together still. But it's hard to guess someones emotions over phone, especiall if she is nice and caring on the phone, I just can't see her eyes(that cannot lie).

Argh, it may be the best to wait and leave her alone for at least until Sunday, but I fear if I don't keep her emotions towards me at peek, they will vanish until then....

:tai:

[Iron_Scarecrow]

Hmmm, I don't want to give you false hope or anything. And I hate giving advice in case it's wrong.

But the way I see it, you know nothing on what's going on between Gabi and Peter, so chances are he has no idea what's happening between you and Gabi, he may think you'd just walk away and isn't trying to show her more love to keep her interested, but you seem willing to fight for her love so you could sneak in and steal her away.

But even if he is aware or showing her extra love, you seem willing, and when there's a will there's a way. Maybe just a short phone call everyday to make sure she doesn't forget you.

[plague]

Originally posted by Grinder@Feb 2 2006, 11:30 PM
And plague, I didn't quite understand what you said about those two you knew. Please explain it to me...if that's not weird for you.
For some reason they weren't happy with their lives... One day another of them shot himself to head in his own room and that another guy hanged himself two weeks after. Both times nearly everyone in our school was more or less sad.

I don't really even know why I wrote that... Maybe I thought that would make Play to realize something. Or maybe I was just plain stupid, forget.

[Playbahnosh]

Originally posted by Iron_Scarecrow@Feb 3 2006, 04:23 PM
Maybe just a short phone call everyday to make sure she doesn't forget you.
Oh, I'm doing that alright :ok: I phoned her every single day since last Thursday, and sneaked in some phrases about how I care for her in the talk. And se sends me at least one SMS daily asking how am I n stuff. Maybe I'm pessimistic, but I think she is just doing it because she want to be friendly, and no emotions. But at least I think that if she REALLY wanted to loose me, she could've done it the hard way(avoiding me completly, not answering phone/SMS, telling me leave her alone n stuff), but she is not doing it. Well, this is a situation that I haven't seen, not even remotely. I'm doomed... At least Sunday is closer than yestarday.. Gnnaah I can't bear this waiting :tai:

[Scatty]

Watch out that she doesn't use you like the previous one did. If there're unclear things in a friendship like that, it leaves many ends open...

[gufu1992]

Originally posted by Playbahnosh@Feb 2 2006, 09:07 PM
BOOGER! BOOGERS! BOOGERS!
OMG WTF ia that?
Back on topic:
Err... I don't understand the problem...

[Fruit Pie Jones]

Originally posted by Playbahnosh@Feb 2 2006, 03:04 PM
True FPJ. And yes, there was another thread about me going haywire over Anikó, damn :tai: And you are right with that "can't stop" thing, but I'm at least willing to try. Gabi herself asked me that very question.
I don't want to come across as Mr. Downer, but the "can't stop" thing really raises a red flag. By saying that, she's got an out. If that's an unfamiliar slang term, it basically means that she has an easy way out of any relationship that develops, because if she ends up cheating on you at some point in the future, she can always say, "I told you at the beginning, that's who I am." In essence, she's given you a preemptive "It's not you, it's me."

Originally posted by Playbahnosh@Feb 2 2006, 03:04 PM
uhh, I read in ReamusLQ's sig "You can't achieve the impossible without attempting the absurd." or something like that. Well I'm about to do just that :) . I will do everything to surface the good left in her and not the bad. If I can keep her for enough time without her noticing it, she will never leave.
It sounds like you're prepared to put a lot of effort into this. That's good. You seem to be looking for a long-term relationship, but can you be sure she's looking for the same thing? You mentioned that she may have been with her current boyfriend for about six months, and in that time she's had seven "temptations." I don't know exactly what constitutes a "temptation," but seven in six months (assuming six months is accurate) doesn't speak well of her long-term potential. Also, you said she's four years older than you, correct? Does this mean that she'll be leaving school well before you will? That's something to consider as well.

Looks like I'm going to be Mr. Downer whether I want to or not. Everything I've said is pure speculation based on very sketchy information, though. In the end, there's no way to predict how things like this will turn out. I wish you luck.

[Playbahnosh]

Originally posted by Fruit Pie Jones@Feb 3 2006, 06:22 PM
...at some point in the future, she can always say, "I told you at the beginning, that's who I am."* In essence, she's given you a preemptive "It's not you, it's me."

...It sounds like you're prepared to put a lot of effort into this. That's good. You seem to be looking for a long-term relationship, but can you be sure she's looking for the same thing?
hmm...now you say that, this is more than to be considered. You certainly got a point there. Maybe she will actually TRY to leave me. But I'm not that easy when it comes to letting something outta my grasp :evil: I'm maybe not a dream bf, but I can show her things that she will never find elswhere ^_^ that's my only weapon against her leaving. And my ever so nice and caring nature of course, they like that :D I hope it'll be enough...

But I'm getting worried really, she replys more and more longer or not at all to my PMs... and when we spoke yesterday evening she seemed more stressed, she wanted to put down the phone early... she was not rude or anything, but kinda strange... I'm getting worried... :huh:

EDIT: You won't believe this guys. I told you about how the Yahoo! astrology always comes true for me. Now get this(todays horoscope for me):

Daily couples love (by Astrology.com)
Self-exploration can feel pretty risky, especially if some relationship issues are attached to the areas you're trying to explore. Tell your darling you may need a little alone time to work this one out.

Daily singles love (by Astrology.com)
This latest social opportunity may seem too avant-garde for you, but check it out anyway. Prove to yourself that you are comfortable in your own skin, no matter how unusual the situation. It's very attractive.

Daily flirt (by Astrology.com)
Care to walk a tightrope? If you play your cards right today, you'll maintain a delicate balance between your artistic and logical sides. Then you'll create a thing of beauty (even if that thing is just a night on the town).

Daily extended (by Astrology.com)
The consequences of speaking your mind with blunt honesty haven't ever deterred you from telling the truth. So when someone from the past arrives and expects you to be nice, they'll be in for quite the surprise -- especially if the relationship ended because of something disreputable they deliberately did to you. Needless to say, keeping quiet, no matter what the consequences, may be even more difficult for you now. Don't even try. Let 'em have it!

And now hers:

Daily singles love (by Astrology.com)
Someone is pushing you to hurry, but you're not ready yet. Push back -- ever so gently -- and let them know you still have some things you need to figure out. They'll wait for you. You're too important to them.

Daily flirt (by Astrology.com)
Once again, you're the one who wants to put on the brakes. But that's a good thing, at least for the first part of the day. Later tonight, don't be afraid to step on the gas and indulge yourself.

Daily extended (by Astrology.com)
Ready for just one more red-hot dose of passion? Sure, that doesn't sound too hard to take for a sign as sensual and earthy as yours. Of course, you may need to fight off a slew of admirers, including one who actually had the nerve to stand you up not too long ago. Is it time for payback, or are you still interested? Make up your mind now, before they call, because you know they will.

Is this JUST a coincidence? I really doubt it now :huh: Damn, I rarely read that horoscope but when I do it always says the truth no matter what....

You don'z believe this do you? :huh:

[Scatty]

Sebatianos told you it all in his last post - let her time. Don't ask for anything, be happy with what she's giving. If you ask more you might get an explosion and hard break-up. She seems indeed to need to decide for herself, so don't push her. Be sensitive and wait.

[Playbahnosh]

Don't ask for anything, be happy with what she's giving.
The thing is Scatty, that she is(for the lack of better word) "tormenting" me with this motionless thing. This is worse then if her actually sending me away. She keeps the love in me for whatever reason. She sent me away once on Thuesday, but I guess she won't do it again seeing I'm far too persistent to just "go and don't look back". She knows she has time until Sunday, so I think just uses what time she has to think this over...

I just phoned her, first and last time this day, I took your advice and haven't pushed her too much, but I just ringed her to ask how she is ;) no funny stuff, as you said :angel:

Well that was strange. :huh: Not that our latest conversations weren't strange, but still...

She asked more questions about Anikó and our braking-up. :huh: I told her that I spoken to Anikó yesterday and we agreed on that our relationship just doesn't work, and we won't harass each other. I said that telling the truth is the best way in the long term.

Here are some cut-outs of today's talk:

...
Á:I know this will work beetween us...
G: Why are you still so sure?
Á: I just know ^_^
G: but there is something more needed for this to work...
Á: :huh: like...what?
G: like...me?
Á: Well, you'll be back on Sunday ^_^ and everything will be in place...
G: Ákos...I...I'm still in...a relationship
Á: Not that something like that deterred you earlier... :P
G: *a long sigh*
Á: You see, a relationship in which you already had looked out from seven times, is not a working relationship...
G: Peter trusts me...
Á: And you-
G: And I'm doing this with him...
Á: See?... That's what I'm talking about...you should speak to him...or will you wait until he finds it out?
G: No!...*long silence*...I don't know :( ...*silence*...everybody else around here thinks we(she and Peter) feel good together...
Á: And who counts? everybody else or you?...
G:...me...*silence*...I don't know...
Á: Hey, I could be the one you stick with, you'll never know ^_^
G: I don't know...
Á: I know this will work, you and me...You showed me something that made me sure...
G: what? :huh:
Á: well, you sorta...fell in love with me...
G: no...
Á: yes you did. I know what I felt...
G: Those were your feelings...
Á: Hey I know what I did saw...I'm not seeing things and I'm not stupid you know...
G: I never said that....*silence* Hey, aren't you a little over self-confident? ^_^
Á: Hey, aren't you a little over self-confident? (on purpose)
G: *long silence* I don't know... *silence*...Oh Ákos I'd really like to exclude that phase(with Peter) out of my life...but I can't...
Á: I'd be the happiest if you could....
...
Á: But you will come back on Sunday, and we could be finally together...
G: *giggles*
Á: We feel ourselves so great together...
G: yeah *laughs* we do ;)
Á: I say it would work beetween us....
G: *sigh*...Ákos...I don't know...I should go now...really...
Á: Okay, if I'm bothering you, I will go...
G: No, no you are not bothering me ;)
Á: cool...^_^
...

After we put down the phone she sent me a PM on my phone: "One more thing...I'm really happy that you called B) thank you ;)"

Now I'm totally lost :huh: in one second she behaves like she loves me, in the next she denies it, in the next she looks as she loves me again... now what? :blink:
One thing is getting close. I think I'm about to convice her to tell this thing to Peter, and (hopefully...sorry) leave him. I'm not evil. But I want to be with her that's for sure....

Jeeez, I'm losing it :wacko:

[Scatty]

It looks simple to me (excuse me if I allow myself little too much, but I think I see all the background details and reasons so clearly, and would like to help).
She doesn't know what she really wants. And you won't be able to let her realise through trying to convince her to your side. This is really something she has to decide for herself, either if you are important to her or if the mask of happy life with her friend is more important to her. And...as long as you're keeping to her, she can't decide because she wants it both, and so she swings to and fro between you and her friend, while not knowing what she actually wants. If this goes on for longer, it might become too much to her and end in some disaster after which neither you nor her friend will see her again, for example she'll flee from you both.
I'm going to say this only once, but have a think on it. You should gather your strength and let her know, firmly, that she has to decide, and that pretty soon, or you'll leave her because she doesn't seem to know if she really wants you, maybe not wanting you really. Tell her that word in word. But I can imagine that you wouldn't want to do that. Either you go through it and do it, and because of the pressure she will entirely decide between you and love or her friend and no love. Or you let it be as it is and you both will remain in unsure state, which will just bother you both until you both get fed up with that one day and go separate ways.

She needs something that speeds her decision up, Play. Something more extreme. And then you'll either lose her or win her forever.

[Sebatianos]

OR she might be just playing with you (maybe even without realising it). There are people out there that simply like the attention. She could be a person that really likes men trying to get her, so she teases them, but she's uncapable of a steady relationship. In that case you can do just about anything, but it won't help.

[Iron_Scarecrow]

That's possible, but she does seem pretty confused, in the end it is her decision but you have to keep showing her what you can offer like you have been. I wouldn't how much is too much but if you drown her in it she may get scared off.

Personally though I wouldn't try and force her to make a decision anytime soon, give little hints that this can't go on forever, but if she is pressured into a decision she'll always wonder whether she made the right one or not.

[Playbahnosh]

Scatty how old are you exactly? You seem very sure of yourself considering this subject that what I must do to n stuff, but there are gaping holes in your reasoning dude, no offense :ok: I was in this situation earlier, though not this completely. There was a girl that I liked to have very much but she was unsure(3 years earlier), accidentally I pushed on her too much and asked the straight question, of course she denied it and left. In this matter, I agree with Crow. Girls don't like to be pushed around, that I learned so far. Neither do I, but I can handle it for the sake of Gabi ^_^ If I was to stand before Gabi "Now choose!" she will certainly be scared and leave me. Getting out of a steady relationship is no easy task even if you know that should be done, believe me I know this :( But I think a slow approach could turn the tide to my side... (But I could be utterly wrong :( )

I have a slight thought that Peter doesn't know a thing beetween me and Gabi other than we are dorm mates and friends. I think he just sitting back knowin Gabi is his "property" and he don't even trying to show love for her, "why bother?" style. I think he is simply too sure of himself. I think that's why my little suggestions and faint actions of love actually seems to work, because there is no counter-spell from Peter :D And I think if he finds this thing out he wont be out to "love her back" from me, he would come over and (try to :P)beat the sh!t outta me instead <_< or at least he looks like that kinda kid....

But I think you people's advices are slowly starting to work. She just sent me a PM in the morning: "You woke up yet? I just did B) I started to write this in the evening: Ákos... I just fear you from myself. No matter what you think I don't trust myself and you certainly deserve a more correct girl..." I replyd: "Don't fear for me, and certainly not from yourself ;) You are the most correct girl I've ever met. To be correct it does not mean that you must stay if it's sh!t for you..."

I called her right after I got it. Her voice changed again, it was smooth and caring like on last Thursday. She giggled more and seemed more liking me. I havent pushed her any more on the phone, I was just nice and gave her all the attention I could give... Maybe something happened? I hope for good this time....

[Scatty]

Yes, I guess you're right, I'm too sure of what you have to do. People are all different, and your "style" if I may say so is certainly very patient, persistent and kind, despite occasional blows. Be just as you are and do what you think would work the best, not listen to the many advises from different people here. One has to meet his own decisions earlier or later, and through hard experience gather wisdom. One or another way it will work out between you and her, and I wish you best luck in that. Just don't let her go if you're sure that she's the right one for you and she has nothing against either :)

[Playbahnosh]

Aye aye Sir :ok: You see Scatty hearing other peoples opinion in a matter like this is more help than not. You give great advices that I couldn't figure out on my own in a hundred years. As I know myself, I would alrady blown this whole thing if it wasn't for you guys :ok: As thing goes on(I hope now not for long) I try to give more and more insight into this whole matter for you to understand and clear things, and you could possibly decide stuff you couldn't earlier. Don't underestimate the power of an advice. You guys gave me countless ones already and those are all forming this matter as we speak. You see people do stuff different, but if more people advise the same it is worth to take it ^_^ Like that I don't push Gabi more than a small gesture and a few lovely words but don't leave her alone neither for more than a day. I took your advice and things are, slowly but, changing. And I have a wild guess that for good this time, thanks to you :D

I think I finally understood one thing, what Gabi likes in me, and other girls too. I'm unpredictable. In a good meaning of course. ^_^ They'll never know what I'm about to say or do, and I think this mysteriusly loving behaviour draws them to find out my next move. They like playing :D

Update on the current state of things soon...

[TheChosen]

Man.... :omg:

[Playbahnosh]

Originally posted by TheChosen@Feb 4 2006, 12:45 PM
Man.... :omg:
What? :huh:

[Iron_Scarecrow]

Well, he knows nothing, so it makes for an easier steal. :ph34r:

LOL

Anyway I'd say just keep it up and hope for the best. I can't think of anything else you could do.

[Playbahnosh]

Originally posted by Iron_Scarecrow@Feb 4 2006, 04:04 PM
Well, he knows nothing, so it makes for an easier steal. :ph34r:

LOL

Anyway I'd say just keep it up and hope for the best. I can't think of anything else you could do.
who? what? where? :blink:

[Iron_Scarecrow]

I was talking about this Peter character.

[Playbahnosh]

Aw, that's different... But why should that further my standing in this matter? :huh: The problem is not with the knowledge of Peter, rather than the very existence of him... :omg: jeez, that sounded like if I'm a serial killer... :D But no...

The thing is, I don't know which is better, if he knows this or if he not. I mean there is a chance if he somehow finds this out he will simply dump Gabi. But then again, there is a chance that he will simply have a calm (with tears perhaps) talk with Gabi and they will more likely stay together more....

I encouraged Gabi to tell him this stuff, cuz I know that honesty is always better than living a big lie, this is my prime directive. But also honesty makes people digest things easier not giving any other option to think about (or wait for to be found out)... I think honesty is biggest good thing...

I miss her very much :cry:

[Grinder]

Originally posted by Playbahnosh@Feb 4 2006, 07:27 PM
I think honesty is the biggest good thing...
Amen to that. But are you sure you want him to know that? As much as you love Gabi, you have to think of him, as well. Maybe he really really loves her, too. I'm just thinking, but maybe you would all be better off not telling him.

[Playbahnosh]

Originally posted by Grinder@Feb 4 2006, 08:32 PM
I'm just thinking, but maybe you would all be better off not telling him.
:omg: you are joking right?

You thought *I* will tell him? :blink: Not in hundred years!! I don't even want to see him at all, and definetly don't want to talk to him <_< I met him once while he was here at the dorm with Gabi. I greeted him with a smile and a "hello" but the only answer was a grunt and a shady look. <_< He is not of the nice kind...

So I did need to think about him? Why should I? If he loves Gabi why don't he show it to her? And why do you think Gabi looked out of the relationship with him 7(!) times if he loves her oh so much. Even if that is true, something IS wrong there considering the current(and past) cincumstances. Oh, and another thing, last Thursday when me and Gabi sorta came together, she told me that she and Peter have some big problems beetween them nowdays(so not a little coming-going problem). Why should I, say, "help" him to remain with Gabi? :huh: No, I done that many times, to help the girl I loved come together with someone else so they could be happy... No! I'm tired of rejections and abusement, now MY time has come and there is nothing that can stop me! :Titan:

The only thing is HOW should I do that... :unsure: and that's why I need your help :unsure:

EDIT@: We talked on the phone..again :D Now finally this thing seems to budge. And in my favour :Brain: She told me that one side of her pulls to me strongly but her other side wants to stay and don't want to lose something that she has. I told her that I can give her all that too...and much more, and she said that I'm possibly right. She said (in a dreaming voice) our nights together were unbelievable, and we are so great together. She said "why? Ákos, why? Why is this feeling in me towards you? I just can't believe it..." and I said "don't try to believe it...just feel it"... and she asked why should SHE break up with Peter, and I said someone has to do it anyway, might as well be her, and she said "maybe..."...

I don't know... she went to sleep now, but if she arrives tomorrow, that will be the moment of glory or the kingdom come. The moment of truth, one way or another this motionless thing will end there... wish me luck :unsure:

[Chuck the plant]

Not that it wasn't mentioned so far, but let me ask you once more: You're going to get together with a girl that cheated on her still-boyfriend 7 times already?

I think you KNOW what seems to be a little wrong with that picture, do you?

[Abi79]

She cheated on her boyfriend 7 times?! (including this one) I thought she wanted to leave him 6 times... :huh:

I don't know... she went to sleep now, but if she arrives tomorrow, that will be the moment of glory or the kingdom come. The moment of truth, one way or another this motionless thing will end there... wish me luckMay the Force be with you :ok:

[Grinder]

Originally posted by Playbahnosh+Feb 4 2006, 07:45 PM****</div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (Playbahnosh @ Feb 4 2006, 07:45 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> ******QuoteBegin-Grinder@Feb 4 2006, 08:32 PM
I'm just thinking, but maybe you would all be better off not telling him.
:omg: you are joking right?

You thought *I* will tell him? :blink: Not in a hundred years!! I don't even want to see him at all, and definitely don't want to talk to him.
... [/b][/quote]
No, no, no, that is not what I meant. What I meant with "you" was you and gabi. Maybe this guy doesn't know that she cheated on him 7 times, and maybe he really really loves gabi (I said that already, didn't I?). I was just saying that maybe he deserved a fair chance of their relationship working. I know this must be difficult to see for you, but I just wanted to remind you that this Peter character might have the same problem you have. She must have chosen him for a reason, right?
I did not want you to help him or anything. I just meant that you should not only think of him as "that b'st'rd who took gabi away from me", but as a normal person.
Originally posted by Playbahnosh+Feb 4 2006, 7:45****</div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (Playbahnosh @ Feb 4 2006, 7:45)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'>there is nothing that can stop me!* [/b]
I can see that. Just be careful not to harm anybody
******QuoteBegin-Playbahnosh@Feb 4 2006, 7:45
The only thing is HOW should I do that...* and that's why I need your help [/quote]That's what I was trying to do. Help you. I don't mean to harm you, I don't mean that Peter deserves to be with Gabi, I'm just trying to help you to look at the situation objectively.

[Playbahnosh]

@Chuck: I know dude, but the thing is I'm out to change all that. I mean I want to keep her for sure this time and I have a feeling that I might be able to do that. Besided, who can resist to have her own star in the sky (for example) :D. And I have other beautiful stuff to show her :ok: I try everything, and if that everything is not enough I book the loss, cry, and drop dead...

@Abi: Please read before you post dude :ok: and she was not technicly cheating, those were "temptations" as she calls it, I don't know the details but I don't really want to anyway.

And thanks for the power :kosta:

@Grinder: I know dude. It is very hard for me to look at this matter objectively. And you are right, Gabi must have chosen Peter for a reason (and reason was to try and keep her she told me), but, seemingly, he deliberatly failed. HE *HAD* his chance to try and keep Gabi, AT LEAST a half year, and he failed at that. So now it's my turn. I feel kinda sorry for him, but if he couldn't keep Gabi, he deserves another chance with another girl. I'm not angry at him or anything you see, but... gnaah, he is in the way goddamit :tai:

I still don't know if Gabi will be able to return to the dorm today, maybe she only can come tomorrow... I'm practically dying over here :(

[Abi79]

Originally posted by Playbahnosh@Feb 5 2006, 11:31 AM
[...]@Abi: Please read before you post dude :ok: [...]
What I posted was a reply to Chuck The Plant's post. (except for the "Force" part, of course)

I still don't know if Gabi will be able to return to the dorm today, maybe she only can come tomorrow... I'm practically dying over here :( A girls usually wants love as much as a man (you) does, so I'm sure she'll come today. If not, she probably has something very important to do, but she'll come sooner or later. Don't lose your hope. :ok:

I try everything, and if that everything is not enough I book the loss, cry, and drop dead......and you'll be the first AB member who died of love. Ain't that a joy? :evil: :bleh:

[Playbahnosh]

What I posted was a reply to Chuck The Plant's post. (except for the "Force" part, of course)

:unsure: sorry bout that dude, didn't know...

...and you'll be the first AB member who died of love. Ain't that a joy?
well, I won't consider that a joy :( but at least it will give you something to laugh upon... but I rather have hope in a happy ending...

[Abi79]

Originally posted by Playbahnosh@Feb 5 2006, 12:11 PM
...and you'll be the first AB member who died of love. Ain't that a joy?
well, I won't consider that a joy :( but at least it will give you something to laugh upon...
It was just a joke...but don't mind me. I'm always pessimist :whistle:

[Playbahnosh]

hhhh...so am I dude. But there is a shining star on my dark sky now, called Hope. If there is a tiny little hope that my luck will change now I won't give up. Not when it seems like the girl of my life seems to love me too. Oh Lord, please give me this blessing this once... you were so cruel to me until now, please :cry:

EDIT@: It turned out Gabi will only come tomorrow :cry: Damn, I'm about to drop the hammer :tai:

[Playbahnosh]

We just talked on the phone, she seems more calm now and she said she will arrive around 10AM tomorrow. I've never waited a day this badly in my life :tai: Oh, I hope she will respond to me in a good way... Jeez, I'm confused again. what if she just says she dumps me.... OH NO! :cry:

[Abi79]

Good luck! :ok: May the Force, the 3DFX video cards and your shining start on the sky :D be with you.

[Playbahnosh]

SHE KISSED *ME* :Brain: :wub: :wub: :Brain:

Oh my God! She kissed me ^_^ And I saw the same flame in her eyes :Brain: she havent talked about what will happen or what's up with Peter at all, but I didn't care. The important thing is that she is back finally, and she really cares for me :D
We kissed each other many times.... :wub:

I'm still concerned about Peter though. What will happen I wonder.... Who will she choose...

[Chuck the plant]

Originally posted by Playbahnosh@Feb 6 2006, 11:30 AM
I'm still concerned about Peter though. What will happen I wonder.... Who will she choose...
"A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush."

That's what women are commonly like.

That being said, I wish you good luck nonetheless.

[Playbahnosh]

Originally posted by Chuck the plant@Feb 6 2006, 01:33 PM
"A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush."
Now what does that mean? :huh:

[Dino]

Originally posted by Chuck the plant@Feb 6 2006, 01:33 PM
"A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush."

That's what women are commonly like.

That being said, I wish you good luck nonetheless.
I'm so going to second what Chuck said.

Just be careful in order not to get hurt. I have to say that, having in mind that she cheated on her boyfriend many times. You know what they say: ''A leopard cannot change his spots.''

I wish you all the best.

[Playbahnosh]

Oh Jesus, something bad is happening... Peter came to the dorm and Gabi is tipped out :( :( :(

I fear the worst :cry:

[Scatty]

Originally posted by Playbahnosh@Feb 6 2006, 06:23 PM
Oh Jesus, something bad is happening... Peter came to the dorm and Gabi is tipped out :( :( :(

I fear the worst :cry:
Stay calm, don't interfere or call there to find out what's going on. But if she phones you, let her know that you're here for her and ask her if she needs help. Be supportive and caring to her. Improbably that Peter gets rough to her, but if he does you'll need to help. Be 100% there for her.

[Chuck the plant]

I'm not quite sure what you mean by "tipped out"...

[Abi79]

Neither am I, but to me it sounds like "pissed off"

By the way, tipped (http://www.tfd.com/tipped)

[Chuck the plant]

You mean she put herself in a pencil-sharpener? :D

[Shunk Eat Enemy]

speaking of suicide a kid that went to my school killed himself about 1 or 2 months ago he was about 14... so young... I wasnt a freind of his but it is quite sad that i see people with normal lives kill themself all over a little thing (witch i dont know if i should post here) while other people are in the crappyest situation ever, like people in iraq.

[Playbahnosh]

(yes people she got pissed off, jeez you MUST spot little grammar mistakes do you <_< )

Nothing changed, she is still unsure. I'm getting impatient and uneasy. When will this end?

(btw, me and my friends went to have a party last night. It was great until I gone to ask for a song from the DJ there. After about halfnhour begging I got my song, but when I got back to get my friends to listen to it, they were all gone. They left me alone there... so much for having friends <_< I've failed.... Everybody leaves me :cry: )

[Scatty]

Originally posted by Playbahnosh@Feb 7 2006, 07:47 AM
Nothing changed, she is still unsure. I'm getting impatient and uneasy. When will this end?
Told you to force her to make a decision soon by pretending to leave her otherwise. Now she'll remain unsure forever. No offense, but maybe others who posted here are also right and you should keep her 6 cheatings in mind. After a first time of blindness and rosy high feelings always comes a time when you begin to wake up and discover more and more details about who you love. That's when you realise if either you're sure you want to stay with her or if she's just another wrong one and has some or many things that push you off her...

[Chuck the plant]

Originally posted by Playbahnosh@Feb 7 2006, 08:47 AM
Nothing changed, she is still unsure. I'm getting impatient and uneasy. When will this end?
Not before she does not NEED to put an end to it. And if she's forced to do it, you're likely to get the short end of the stick.
- You're "the other guy"
- You know about "her ways" (cheating on her bf etc.)... she could see that as a possible "threat" towarfs a relationship betwen the two of you, simply because she has to assume that YOU will find out easier should this kinda thing happen in your relationship as well.
- She knows she can pull that kinda sh*t of with her now-bf. She doesn't know what would happen if she did it to you. Why risk something that "works" (even if it's in a twisted way) for something that might not? That's what the "Bird"-thing meant.
- Often women have difficulties to have a relationship with someone who "knows too much" about them, because they fear to lose liberties because of that. In most cases, their best friends know them better than their boyfriends ever will. You might have crossed that "line of knowledge" already in her case (which does of course NOT mean that you can't be her "playmate" from time to time if you keep upt hat kind of "friendship" you have now...).

For all I know and what you told as about the situation, the odds are totally against you, sorry to say. I think the point has come where you should consider telling her to go and f*ck herself to keep at least a LITTLE self-respect. But I also know that this is SO much easier said than done... :(
And if you do, it will make you feel bad. REALLY bad. But I think not as bad as you will feel when she finally drops you after much back and forth. And if she REALLY has strong feelings for you, it might even help her to realize. But don't count on that.

And I was REALLY unsure wether that was just a typo or maybe an expression that could mean the total opposite of what I thought, so I wanted to be sure bfore replying to that specifically :ok:

[Scatty]

I agree to what Chuck the Plant wrote. And I think she doesn't really love you, Play, otherwise she would already have decided for you which she didn't. If you accept a good-meant advise, do what Chuck wrote above - leave her. Sorry, mate.

[Playbahnosh]

:cry: :cry: I just can't believe this is happening again :cry: It seemed so real, so perfect... that would've been my happiest thing to come true... I can't believe it this is happening... oh Lord, this is a curse... I'll never be happy again... she game me happiness :cry: :cry: Now this is the End Of All Hope . I should have know that Angels Fall First and my time is never to come... I can't bear this feeling... :cry:

Nishtwish - Angels Fall First

An angelface smiles to me
Under a headline of tragedy
That smile used to give me warmth
Farewell - no words to say
beside the cross on your grave
and those forever burning candles

Needed elsewhere
to remind us of the shortness of our time
Tears laid for them
Tears of love, tears of fear
Bury my dreams, dig up my sorrows
Oh, Lord why
the angels fall first

Not relieved by thougts of Shangri-La
Nor enlightened by lessons of Christ
I'll never understand the meaning of the right
Ignorance lead me into the light

[Repeat chorus]

Sing me a song
of your beauty
of your kingdom
Let the melodies of your harps
caress those whom we still need

Yesterday we shook hands
My friend
Today a moonbeam lightens my path
My guardian


Nightwish - End Of All Hope

It is the end of all hope
To lose the child, the faith
To end all the innocence
To be someone like me
This is the birth of all hope
To have what I once had
This life unforgiven
It will end with a birth

No will to wake for this morn
To see another black rose born
Deathbed is slowly covered with snow

Angels, they fell first but I'm still here
Alone as they are drawing near
In heaven my masterpiece will finally be sung

Wounded is the deer that leaps highest
And my wound it cuts so deep
Turn off the light and let me pull the plug

Mandylion without a face
Deathwish without a prayer
End of hope
End of love
End of time
The rest is silence



I have lost everything... my hope, my love... all is lost... I still love her, oh God I still do, why?.......why?....

[Chuck the plant]

Originally posted by Playbahnosh@Feb 7 2006, 11:27 AM
I'll never be happy again...
Don't worry, you will. :ok:

[Playbahnosh]

the worst thing is that you are right... I'm the "other guy".... I'm a nobody with a capital N... she probably wanted to use me like that others did... but I still feel she pulls to me with true love but her nature is holding her back someway. I think I will speak to her today and end this matter once and for all, fo good or ill, it doesnt matter now.... I will never be happy now... I lost all hope in love and I don't want to feel it again because it only causes sorrow and not happiness as advertized.... I'm the biggest fool on earth to believe that true love does exist... Gabi only wants Peters money and to live somewhere, she feels safe there knowing that Peter has money, has somwhere to live and so on... no matter that he does not seem to love her too much.... Gabi loves me no matter how she denies it, I think she can feel it too, but she choses the economic benefit rather than the greatest thing on earth... love...

I..I...jeeez...I'm outta words now...I just want to die already... drop dead here and now... no more pain for me.... but I think that won't happen and I'm not that suicidal type... sh!t, I should be.... :cry:

[Maikel]

My girlfriend dumped my right before I started at my graduation project and we where 5 years together. 2 weeks later, she got together with a friend of me which was living across my street.

believe it or not, we got back together later on, and even worse, it's better now then before.

Love can suck bigtime, and the five months we where seperated weren't even bad for me, I had the time of my life. But I do not regret being back together again.

The guy is NOT a friend of me anymore though :whistle:

[Iron_Scarecrow]

I kind of know how you feel. Just make sure you keep eating.

I'm sorry things didn't work out for you.

[gregor]

Originally posted by Maikel@Feb 7 2006, 11:07 AM
My girlfriend dumped my right before I started at my graduation project and we where 5 years together. 2 weeks later, she got together with a friend of me which was living across my street.

believe it or not, we got back together later on, and even worse, it's better now then before.

Love can suck bigtime, and the five months we where seperated weren't even bad for me, I had the time of my life. But I do not regret being back together again.

The guy is NOT a friend of me anymore though :whistle:
This is Jerry Springer material... LOL

[Maikel]

nah not really, I would need to have a mullet and there is not enough bad blood to make it entertaining :)

[Playbahnosh]

Nothing is lost yet... I still haven't met her... but I still don't know what to say when I do... What should I say to her? I just can't tell her to fukk off... I love her too much... :(

[Scatty]

You prefer to be a slipper that belongs to her and that she can use whenever she feels for it? Gather yourself and do it, remember that she doesn't seem to love you as much as you do. Not "f**k off", no need to be rude, but tell her simply that you'll leave her as she doesn't seem to love you, finished.

[Playbahnosh]

Jeeez guys, you will hate me now :tomato: Things are happening again. Yesterday evening two of my friends and me went to eat and I called Gabi if she wanted to come, so she came too. After we arrived back to the dorm, me and Gabi went to her room. Her roommate was not there(luck :)). We spent a great evening together, in my arms. We almost gone to bed too, but she was too tired seemingly.

Well, the situation seems helpless, at least to me. She agreed on another meeting tonight when we will actually talk too. I don't now... I'm more confused than ever. Um... I have a feeling that she looks at me as her lover, the third party. Never been in a situation like this, so I have no idea what to do really. She said that she and Peter have problems and that relationship is on the edge, but she and Peter got used to each other so she can't get outta that relationship "just like that". I feel she feels for Peter as a good friend now... but the the thing *she* kissed me yestersay.... well, I don't know... :wacko:

[Sebatianos]

Well, I fear that a heart will get broken soon (and unfortunately it's going to be yours). Did yoou ever get a feeling she's trying to avoid talking to you about serious stuff?

If so, she might be thinking of a way to easily let you know you should be the one to go away. She might be regreting ever meeting you, because now she doesn't know how to stop playing with your feelings and she has no idea how to get rid of you.

Again, I may be completely wrong, but the possibility is there.

[Playbahnosh]

Originally posted by Sebatianos@Feb 8 2006, 09:57 AM
...now she doesn't know how to stop playing with your feelings and she has no idea how to get rid of you...
...and I won't tell either :sneaky: If she was so easy to fall in love with (and fall in love with me), she must face the consequences. Either a great heartache or great plesure. I'm determined to get this thing through. One thing is for sure she won't play with another persons feelings I can assure you that :ok: I'm not the evil kind of guy, I just want justice...

[Sebatianos]

That's all good and everything, I just don't want to see you get hurt (even more).

[Playbahnosh]

okay.... this night was weird.... at least from my angle...
First we went out to eat chinese, after that she came over at around midnight... We were talking a feeling good, she kissed me again more times...

than things got strange again... I paddled to dangerous waters and started to object my opinions about the matter... to cut the long story short, she officially dumped me... but this is a paradox since we never got together LOL... she said she is sorry that this thing happened like this and she simply lured me into this...

And you know what I did? showed her this thread :D all of it :D

I got some interesting facts for you:
- she is together with Peter for more than one year.
- she is 5 years older than me not 4

she corrected these... :D

Anyway, after she "dumped" me we had a little talk over some tea... just 5 hours long as it turned out... I still don't get it... why is she still so attracted to me? I mean, if I really wanted to I could kiss her. I caressed her face for about 5 mins and she seemed so content about thatm she haven't even tried to pull away... I said to her that this could still work someday, don't rush anything. She replied "But I just dumped you" with a smile, and I said "I don't care" with a smile...

She dumped me that third time now, and I don't even bothered about that. Normally one is too much, but for her I'll do anthing :D Maybe this will be the stupidest thing I ever done, or the most wonderful... ;)

When she was leaving I said to her
"Why do we have to lose what we have already archived?"
"um...I don't put my nose beside yours? that's what?"
"uh...for example :D"
"You know what... I go to sleep and after that I will :D"

I'm even more confused. So she tried to send me away for sure. She tried to be angry at me she told me, but she didn't succeded at that :D She said it would be much easier to just get angry at me and leave me for sure, but she just can't do that :D

So I guess this is a matter that the future will solve. Maybe when she brakes up with Peter, I'll get a chance :D If not, well I still have my computer here...

First of all I'd like to thank you for your cooperation in this matter. However it is not closed yet. Thanks for the 100+ posts and the company :ok: you are great people :ok:

I will post here now and then so stay tuned :ok:

[gregor]

Oh man! This is so simmilar to what i had! the problem of majority of owmen is that they can't really decide. only few can do that and they will turn out to be a good leaders, while the rest are like Freud said "passive". at least from men's point of view.

I told to mine "decide!", she started mumbling, i said "goodbye!" and i left. was that stupid? no, because i want someone that would really really love to be with me. someone that won't think a second before deciding to be with me instead of someone else. someone that would not only say to me that i am a good guy, a good person, so much better than her boyfriend etc. but would also be ready to show it.

there is plenty of fish in the sea. and i think i caught one that is sort of shaped to my likings. she still has huge problem with making decisions. but at least once she makes it, it is definite and won't change it.

like i said - decisions:
If someone is better then the other one and if the other one doesn't fulfill your needs or is maybe even starting to be repulsive then choose the better one. on the contrary to conviction of many women - YOU CAN'T CHANGE THE PEOPLE! romantic movies are plays and are not real. once a jerk, always a jerk. always a jerk - dump it.

Logic:
i am surprised that women are so good in logic competitions, yet when it comes to real life they have a twisted one (at least from my point of view). I mean if you have a person who is treating you bad and who you dont' really like that much and if you on the other hand have a person who likes you, terats you good, and even you liek him then why would you choose the first one?

a sad fact:
beautiful girls love bastards and jerks.

[Playbahnosh]

Originally posted by gregor@Feb 9 2006, 07:45 AM
i am surprised that women are so good in logic competitions, yet when it comes to real life they have a twisted one (at least from my point of view). I mean if you have a person who is treating you bad and who you dont' really like that much and if you on the other hand have a person who likes you, terats you good, and even you liek him then why would you choose the first one?

a sad fact:
beautiful girls love bastards and jerks.
Loves knows no reasoning that's a fact. I contradict every single rule she had about coming together with someone. Almost every single one. And she contradicts my rules too. She is 25 I'm 20, she has a different world than I do, still we are here now. And she keeps being unsure still. This thing with Gabi looks completely impossible to happen, but it DID happen :D She is the kind of girl I would sacrefice everything... It simply doesn't matter what she has done or anthing... Even though it seems too unreal but it IS happening for some reason but I don't know love's motives yet... why does it happen that people don't believe in love after a certain age? why is that people stop feeling stuff? (or pretend to stop feeling?) Some people call me inmature because I belive in love and it's power, but hey if nobody would why is it worth it? It still seems to me that it's worth it, no matter all the dumping :ok:
She is the one of a kind girl who I want to be with, there is no one like her anywhere else I just know this more than ever. An if I evr going to search again I just know I will search for her in every single girl, and it is impossible to find another somenone like her...

Okay, some of you(or even everyone) may consider me helpless, I know. But I just can't help myself in this matter, I don't know what to do (other than leaving her because I can't do that, now it's certain heheh)...

I'm an idiot... I sill trust in love... But hell what is life for if not for finding our place in the world than rot in hell for all ethernety :D I love her with my life really... but I feel immobilized :(

[Iron_Scarecrow]

Well this is just odd.

I don't know what to say... uh, have fun. :ok:

:crazy:

[Chuck the plant]

Originally posted by Playbahnosh@Feb 9 2006, 11:33 AM
I contradict every single rule she had about coming together with someone. Almost every single one. And she contradicts my rules too.
And correct me if I'm wrong, but you AREN'T together, right? :whistle:

[Playbahnosh]

Originally posted by Chuck the plant+Feb 9 2006, 12:52 PM****</div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (Chuck the plant @ Feb 9 2006, 12:52 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> ******QuoteBegin-Playbahnosh@Feb 9 2006, 11:33 AM
I contradict every single rule she had about coming together with someone. Almost every single one. And she contradicts my rules too.
And correct me if I'm wrong, but you AREN'T together, right? :whistle: [/b][/quote]
you are right... but we could be if it wasn't for her bf... <_<

[Grinder]

I think I posted in this thread, but I can't remember what I
posted and I can't find my post...weird.

[Playbahnosh]

This seems like a spiraling matter. Going in circles all the the time. I am outta power. I'm tired, haven't slept well for almost two weeks now and I feel I'm getting ill. It seems my energy is depleted but I don't care. I will push on for the greater good.

I met her on the corridor 10 mins ago. She told me that Peter is here, and she accidentaly left the forum open and Peter started to read this very topic. I have mixed feelings about this :/ One of my side is blazing with hellish fire and wanting him to read all this, face what happened these days and get things straight with her. My other side is confused on what to do, but one thing is for sure, I don't want to hurt Gabi more. I haven't even wanted to hurt her in the first place. But it seems like only my evil side has a concept in this matter on how should I act. "Take revenge" my devil says "She took away your love, now you must take away her's! Go tell that Peter dude what's up! Or you wan't to be a coward in yer entire life you mothaf*kka?!" :( But no, I'm not that kinda man, I still care for her. And why ruin her relationship when it already seems ruined from here. Or I could be utterly wrong. I still love her I can't help it.

All I can do now is wait. For how long? I don't know. Maybe forever. I don't how much time does she need. Maybe someday she will realize the chance she missed, but then I would be nowhere to find. I just we could be happy together, but the only thing beetween me and her is Peter. A guy who doesn't know a thing about what happened in the last 2 weeks, and if it is for Gabi, he will never know. I feel sorry for him actually, to live behind a huge wall of lies Gabi built beetween them, but that is her decision so I can't do anything about it. If she wants to do it that way, I'm not the guy to intervene....

Well I don't know what to say really. I'm still here, still living, still waiting for Gabi...

[Scatty]

Shivering from being afraid of the consequences that Peter discovered it all? No biggie.
Earlier or later it had to come out, maybe now she will decide for one side. If I would be you I wouldn't hope for the best, though. Makes it easier to face the worst if it indeed happens...

[Neon Knight]

Her boyfriend will be pissed, that's for sure. But that doesn't mean she won't hate you for starting this thread. At least this will help her decide.

[Fruit Pie Jones]

I'll be straightforward:

I think it's time to cut your losses, because I don't see how this can possibly end well. The reward no longer exceeds the risk, at least from my outsider's point of view, and this whole endeavor appears to be sinking further into the red. You're putting more and more effort into it (possibly to the detriment of your health), and you're getting less and less in return. I mean, you said in a previous post that she officially dumped you. After that point, anything she does to lead you on, intentionally or not, is just yanking your chain...so to speak.

Bow out gracefully. Tell her that all of the uncertainty is driving you crazy, so you've decided to back off. If, at some point in the future, she gets her (stuff) together, she can look you up. Finding Peter and telling him all that has happened in order to drive a wedge between them is a bad idea. She would see that as selfish and immature, and she would be correct. If they were to break up because of that, it would not be to you that she would turn for comfort. You would be at the bottom of her list, not at the top. On the other hand, a confrontation like that might make for a good story someday, but it's basically your "nuclear option," so...nah, just don't.

Again, this is just one American's view (which will probably serve to reinforce someone's stereotype of Americans somehow). I'm about as removed from this as it is possible to be, and my perspective on it may not be reliable. Do what you think is best.

[Neon Knight]

Indeed, any kind of relationship that you can have with her from this moment on will not last for long. She can't go back with his boyfriend and she'll probably hates you because of this thread.

I have to agree with Pie here, but it was not because of your actions, but your lack thereof (as lack of them, my english is not very good). So far you've waited for her to decide when she was not in a position to do it, she was simply not ready (and you didn't help her, except when you saw the posibility of her going back to you). But now that the muck has hit the fan she will have to.

Most likely she will try to go back to her boyfriend and dump you, but that's just me.

[Grinder]

Originally posted by Neon Knight@Feb 9 2006, 07:23 PM
Her boyfriend will be pissed, that's for sure.
You bet he is. I'm sorry to tell you this, Playbahnosh, but I don't think this will ever work. He'll probably read the whole thread, and get into a fight with her. Did he know about her seven temptations? If not, he'll have read it here for the first time, and that is sure to hurt him - big time.
They'll probably even break up or something. And I honestly don't think she's gonna come to you the minute they broke up - if they do. This is not working out. Don't put your hopes up. You're just gonna be hurt again.

[Playbahnosh]

Okay, to cut the long story short again, Peter didn't read the whole thread, just read in the first post if any, or at least this is what Gabi said on the corridor. Peter was simply surprised that Gabi posts to forums or something and probably read the first few lines of my first post which is not very informative in this matter. Believe me if he would read the whole thread I would be the first to know :ph34r:

And why do you think Gabi is upset because of this thread? It is my own choice who do I turn for help, and given the fact this is the goddam best forum on the world with helpful people I decided to come here to let it out and ask for opinions ;) She read the whole thread from the beginning to the end and she doesn't seemed upset about it, she was more like surprised and curious. And while she was at it, she corrected some facts I did wrong.

I don't know maybe she will register and post her own opinion about this whole matter, I don't know :D

And I told you guys already, if I was out to ruin her life for sure, I could've done it much more easier. I could walk up to Peter and tell this little story of mine then leave. Why bother making this thread and pretend to be just asking for help? Nah, I'm uncapable of such an act. I simply couldn't do it if I wanted. I REALLY care for her, I do! If I want to do something is caressing her again once more, not hurting her...

She is not here in the dorm now, but she doesn't seemed annoyed at me on the corridor... she even proposed a game of Neverwinter Nights in her latest PM... :D

[Scatty]

See, she proposed to play with you Neverwinter Nights. How serious is that? It's pretty obvious that she tries to create some distance between you and her, a "good-friends" behaviour. If you still hope that she'll come to you one day then you either don't see or don't want to see.
The best thing you can do now is to abandon all hopes that she'll ever live with you together and to be to her like she is to you - a good friend only. Otherwise you just make yourself looking to others like a fool, no offense. To me it seems anyway that she's many sizes higher than you in the knowledge and understanding of love and sees all the threads and ways of it, while you do not. It is you who'll be hurt in the end, she already created enough distance for herself to not being hurted, and she will keep to her friend no matter if she'll cheat on him again or not, but that's up to him to tolerate that.
She made it herself clear to you that she doesn't want to be with you together. If you have some proudness in yourself, be a man and leave her.

[Playbahnosh]

Hey, Neverwinter Nights is a serious thing... :D Okay, I know what you are saying, I know that she is keeping her distance and don't want to hear about getting together with me as my girlfriend. But the fact that she had seroius problems leaving me, that means that something actually WAS beetween us, if not mutual love but something similar anyways. She herself agreed to that today. I told her that she couldn't dump me because we havent even came together, and she protested that something WAS beetween us. It was not me who said it, she was.
Anyway, I WON'T lose hope, that's the worst thing a man can do. She has a special place in my heart and will remain there, but I won't bug her any further. If sometime she acually comes back, I will be here. I will live my life, go to class and everything, life does not stop now. Even though she won't come together with me we spent and spending some quality time together if it is a movie or just a talk over some popcorn. I thought she will be the one for me....well not...

You said that she is much higher in knowlegde than me... well she herself said that she can't bust up the things I say because I'm just wiser than she is, she herself said that. That she can only bust up some minor things I say not the big ones. Of course I believe she has much more first handed relationship experience than me, that's true. I can only go for my knowledge I gathered by observing relationships along the years. I know I was too high to see things in this matter, well...yeah...

[pink cloud OFF]
[reasoning ON]
:ok:

Maybe I confused our mutual friendship for something else. But she herself said that something was beetween us. She is drawn to me for whatever reason I cannot understand no matter how much I think about it. She saw something in me, but I don't get what is it. :unsure:

She made it herself clear to you that she doesn't want to be with you together. No dude, she said she can't leave Peter. She actually said that if she could somehow cut this Peter phase out of her life, she will actually come with me. But I guess I missed that bus, so why moan on the past? (Yeah, time is linear....the sonofa**** :ranting: ) Well I guess this is a good example of how NOT TO do it :( I blew my chance, so be it... As I told you, I book the loss and leave... no hard feellings... (jeeez who am I lying to :cry:)

She gone home for today but will be back on the evening... she said she will come over for a movie... I don't know if she will actually come over, but I don't expect more than a good talk and some popcorn, like two weeks earlier....

I feel empty... like when you are fighting for reach a goal and the goal suddenly vanishes... :( ....hhh... I don't know what to say really...

Here, this is a song I like, HERE (http://www.sing365.com/music/lyric.nsf/Under-The-Bridge-lyrics-Red-Hot-Chili-Peppers/A9BC0DAE664584F348256A100011EA2D) are the lyrics, I'm sorry I can't post the song too but that would be illegal I think. it is Red Hot Chilli Pappers - Under The Bridge...

[Chuck the plant]

Originally posted by Playbahnosh@Feb 10 2006, 02:23 PM
She actually said that if she could somehow cut this Peter phase out of her life, she will actually come with me.
It's not that hard to make promises one's not ever going to have to fulfill...

Yes, maybe there WAS more than friendship. But "more than friendship" does not equal "love". And most likely, it won't become "love", either.

[Neon Knight]

Well, you are only 20 after all, and this was the first girl that actually showed some love for a change. Besides, that "I will get her, no matter what" it's more common that you think.

[Fawfulhasfury]

Man, I am sorry I've missed this topic for so long. Its time for Faw Advice. #1. Keep trying and don't listen to the blimeys who say" She ahtes you wants you to die and wants to dump you so that you never get happy again". #2. If the bf is in the way just go to his room and kill him in a gory bloody manner befitting the Mansons. (i'm joking here <) Actually, maybe one of the reasons she hasn't broken up with him, is she mayeb afraid of him? He seems like one of thos epopular, this has to be geeky crap, this is coo,l I'll stick with it kind of guy. and not too right. Boith of these are stemmed form the fact that he didn't finish reading your post. why, probably because its "forums" and forums are geeky, and he shouldn't read them. #3. She is a temptress, BUT I do think she loves you. My advice, FAWS ADVICE: Keep trying, ya snooze ya lose, whoever smelt it dealt it. Don't listen to any crap. Try to filter out the crap, and get rid of it. Shes probably testing you with all of this, and so far you're doiung a lousy job of making the grade. You are still scrambling to get up that rope, but instead of using the rope, walk around the wall. Instead of trying to melt the ice, skate over it. Instead of swimming through the rapids, walk on water. And if you can figure out all this crud, you can most certainly figure her out.

[Chuck the plant]

Yeah man, listen to the man with the plan, the one who's most likely to have seen it all. :ok:

[Playbahnosh]

@Fawful

Maaan, that is some radical stuff :omg: Well, to tell the truth I'm kinda finished with this situation for now. I'm working on getting back on track with the school and other stuff I neglected because of this. If you had posted this stuff earlier, that would be some color to the painting :ok:

@on topic

Well guys, concerning the matter at hand, I don't know but I don't think I tell you what happened tonight. You will certainly go "this guy is plain stupid" or something. And you certainly don't want to know the 18+ stuff :P Anyway, I think things are slowly falling in place and time will solve the rest. As for now, I just hold on to what I have and hope for more later...

[Abi79]

Originally posted by Playbahnosh@Feb 11 2006, 08:40 AM
Well guys, concerning the matter at hand, I don't know but I don't think I tell you what happened tonight. You will certainly go "this guy is plain stupid" or something. And you certainly don't want to know the 18+ stuff :P
:w00t: What happened, what happened? :w00t:

[Iron_Scarecrow]

Isn't it obvious Abi?

[Abi79]

:P :angel:

[Playbahnosh]

Originally posted by Abi79@Feb 11 2006, 08:15 AM
:P :angel:
exactly...

[Fawfulhasfury]

Dumkoff, you're just plain stupid. :bleh: LOL But if your problems are over, though its doubtful they'll be over forever, then maybe someone should close this topic now?

[Playbahnosh]

Why should anybody close this topic? :huh: It can remain here and I think I'm going to post in time to time... maybe with my reasoning back again :D

[Playbahnosh]

OH. MY. GOD.

This thread still exists? Never would've dreamt of it. heh.

Alright, since I promised I would reply, I will. Two full years have passed since this thread and I think I learned my lesson. For the record, after my last post here, it went like a flickering lightbulb, on and off. It was all rosy in one moment, then she disappeared for weeks, then all awesome again. I haven't really tried to make sense of it all back then, just enjoyed the ride, the whacky rollercoaster. When the semester ended in late June, she moved out of the dorm and left for home. Later I heard that she broke up with Peter, for good. I went to work in a hotel as a waiter, and an errand boy, and that was the worst job in my entire life. But what it bittersweet, was her. I workes my ass off like a dog each day working 13 hours a day straight without breaks. Horrible. But every night when I crashed into my bed, she called me, and we talked for long times. She asked about my day, tried to cheer me up and stuff. She even sent me SMSs during the day how she can't wait it to be night again, she misses my voice n stuff :). She was happy, she said we are toghether now, no Peter, no nothing, and she will be with me. You know, despite the shitty job, I felt...I felt good. Fist in my life I felt awesome to be alive. I felt alive. Then one night she said she can't take it anymore, and will come and see me, she misses me so much, she misses my voice and my touch.
That's where I blew the whole thing into kingdom come. That's where I said the thing I regret most in my entire life. I'm not a man of regret, in fact I never regret anything, I think good things are good and bad things are things to learn from, and I never did regret anything up until that point, and from that point onwards either. But that was the most utterly stupidestest thing I could, which ruined the only good thing in my life for all ethernity. Well, I shared a horrible attic room with some other staff guys, and simply did not have any privacy there. She asked jokingly on the phone that how it will work out, we get the room for an hour or two? Then I said, what, you only want sex from me? We should go walking on the beach, or I could show you around the place, it's quite beautiful at night...but there was silence, and I immediatly knew something was wrong. A minute of silence. Then she switched from the giggly, nice tone to angry and said...You know what? You are right! I only wanted sex from you. Thats what is was all about, nothing else. I don't see how this could ever work with us. I was a fool all along. I tried to intervene saying it's not true, that was a joke and all that, but she said that I finally made her realise, and this is wrong and she never should've started this with me and stuff, and she hung up. She never answered the phone after that. I called her at least a thousand times in row, day after day, but nothing. I tried for a couple of days after, and eventually I gave up. I havent heard about her for months to come. When I got back to the university in September, I met her in the dorm, when I was there to meet one of my friends, and she looked happy to see me. She apologised for not answering the phone, but she didn't know what to say to me after she dumped me so hard, she was embarasses and all she said. Well, I made one last vague attempt to get something going with her, but she gently pushed me away, and I got the message. And we were only friends after that, if you can call rarely meeting or talking on MSN a few lines per month. She got together and broke up with Peter two times, then she left him for good after that. Somehow we got together again for a beauiful night at my place, but it ended in a long talk about how we shouln't start this again and her leaving again. Last year she had problem with her notebook, and I referred her to one of my friend who had a PC service in the city, I introduced them to each other, and went on my way. A week later I heard that they are together. *I* introduced her to him. F***! I was depressed. I was furious. I wanted to know how is that guy so much better than me? How is...well, long story short, I left them alone.
As things stand today, they are still together, for over a year now, and all looks rosy. Me and Gabi don't talk much, once is month tops. I don't really have much to say to her after all this. I don't resent her or hold a grudge, I'm happy that she is happy, tho I have that little sting that she is happy with someone else, and not me. I guess that won't go away, but I don't care about it much now. I went forward with my life, and I haven't found anyone else, nor want to. Girls are just not worth it, they are more pain than do good, sad but true. And I never going to find anyone quite like her, so why bother. I have my studies, my friends and my life to care about, I don't have nor want to have time to chase the pink cloud any further. Love is lie. Period. And I don't want to be part of it any more. If I die alone, well I asked for it I guess, that's what I deserve for whatever reason. meh.

So, sorry about resurrecting old topic, just wanted post this. BTW, I'm still alive in case any of you were wondering, and I'm into my studies most of the time, so I don't really have time to post, but I'll try to do it more often from no on ;)
Don't worry, Playbahnosh won't leave you guys, that I promise :amused:

[Lulu_Jane]

Heeeey, we aren't all that bad, just like all men aren't cave-dwelling thugs :D

Welcome back Mr. Playbanosh :)

[Mighty Midget]

Welcome back, Playbahnosh :) I'm really sorry to hear about all that, I really am, but you know what? It took me ages and ages to realize it, that there are more than untrustworthy people out there. After more than 15 years of having no hopes of meeting anyone I could trust enough or feel good having around, I suddenly did, and I didn't even see it coming before I knew I had indeed met someone. Well, if anything it goes to prove that not packing our bags before scheduled means there will be opportunities later. We might not know it the minute before, but suddenly and quite unexpected something happens that changes things for the better.

Ok, enough of this :D so once again, welcome back!

[Nick]

By the Nine Divines...

Heh, no offence, but I can't believe it. Such... interesting story. I thought such stories are happening only in books. Well, I'm glad it's all right now for you. :)

[red_avatar]

Well if there's one thing I learned it's this: a girl can throw a relationship on the cliffs for the tiniest of things. I had two relationships that ended because of some really stupidly small thing. It really makes you worried that anything you might say might get wrongly interpreted.

I think the reason for that is, that they bottle up so much inside. I've seen this with nearly every girl I've gone out with. They don't express their problems enough but rather dwell on them and then throw them in your face when you least expect it and when you can't defend yourself. The way she responded to your joke, it seems like it was linked to something that's been bothering her for a long time and it set off something that made her react unexpectedly.

Well on the plus side, the more mature girls get, the less they pull stunts like that on you. They learn to deal with problems and emotions and learn to talk it over with you instead of holding it all back. Being open is THE most important part of a relationship.

[Scatty]

Being open is THE most important part of a relationship.
I couldn't agree there more.

I also must say, you're a kind-hearted person, Play, but you shouldn't take this girl as the pinnacle of being-in-love experience. The thing is, some people simply fit better together than others, and there are many, many girls out there that are all different. I'm sure, no I know for sure that you will yet meet the one girl that will fit better to you than Gabi (was that her name?).
Of course you feel sad now, and the sting in the heart after this is well-understood, but it is also impressive that you didn't simply give up and sink into despair, like some people do, and doing nothing, but instead are continuing with life and studying. That shows some inner strength.
Trust me, with her gone nothing is over yet, and you'll find another girl soon enough, after which you'll notice that the past with Gabi is gone with ease.

[Blood-Pigggy]

Holy ass, this is like 500 years old.

[Playbahnosh]

You don't say...

Anyway, I'm alone for two years now, and that made me somewhat dull, like my heart turned to stone or something. I think I'm gonna whine some more about how miserable my life is. That's what I do here most often anyway ;)

[gregor]

well if you payed attention you would see that something is wrong and you are supposed to ask her what is wrong and demand the explanation before she manages to bottle it up. it always works if oyu blame her for not being open as in "i thought we agreed we will be honest to eachother. i was honest to you so far so why are you hiding somehting from me?"

it's called being sympathetic and empathetic. or something but oyu should "read their mind" and decode that you did something wrong.

[Blood-Pigggy]

Wow Gregor, you sound like a goon or something, when the hell did GBS migrate from SA all of a sudden?

[Morrin]

You don't say...

Anyway, I'm alone for two years now, and that made me somewhat dull, like my heart turned to stone or something. I think I'm gonna whine some more about how miserable my life is. That's what I do here most often anyway ;)

Your life is as miserable as you make it man.
Im 24 years old and I have never been in solid relationship. Kind of figures that Im here, heh.
I hate to be hostile here, but fuck1ng stop that whining! When you stop swimming in your tears, the life starts going on again. I know it's hard for the time being, but you have to carry on.

Have some god damn guts. Get drunk, break your apartment, just do whatever that makes you rise from your ashes and start again.

It's never too late

to start again.

[Pietafon]

Your life is as miserable as you make it man.
Im 24 years old and I have never been in solid relationship. Kind of figures that Im here, heh.
I hate to be hostile here, but fuck1ng stop that whining! When you stop swimming in your tears, the life starts going on again. I know it's hard for the time being, but you have to carry on.

Have some god damn guts. Get drunk, break your apartment, just do whatever that makes you rise from your ashes and start again.

It's never too late

to start again.

Damn right! :noworry:

Playbahnosh, stop worry man! Life goes on! You'll see - You will find Your second half sooner or later.:love:

[Playbahnosh]

Sure, positive thinking huh?

Well, guess what, I just got fired from the university because of some f***ing filter. I have no work, no friends around here and no future. And believe me, I'm not swimming in my tears, I friggin feel nothing. I'm doomed. Yeah, I know, I fu...messed it up, and there is nobody to blame but me, I know. And that makes it even worse. And yea, I'll stop whining now.

[Pietafon]

Hey, I'm know what You're talking about... When I was in Your age I've also get expelled from two good schools (fire department schools). My life then was also collapsed (in meantime my girlfriend dumpt me :( ) No future - no ideas for life... And that for almost two years... :/ But in meantime I've met a fantastic girl... She turns my life upside down! I've moved from my family to her... Now I'm have good job and I'm looking for my future in bright colours ;) So don't worry man, You'll see - things will go better!! ;)

[dosraider]

Life sux big sometimes, get used to that simple fact.
:p

[Pietafon]

Heh, sad but true... :cheesy:

[red_avatar]

Hey, I'm know what You're talking about... When I was in Your age I've also get expelled from two good schools (fire department schools). My life then was also collapsed (in meantime my girlfriend dumpt me :( ) No future - no ideas for life... And that for almost two years... :/ But in meantime I've met a fantastic girl... She turns my life upside down! I've moved from my family to her... Now I'm have good job and I'm looking for my future in bright colours ;) So don't worry man, You'll see - things will go better!! ;)

It's funny how girls are often at the center of someone's life improving. Or at the center of your life going to hell. They're evil I tell you!! Evil! :laugh:

Nah but seriously, a girlfriend can either give you strength or break you (usually both down the line) - she can give you confidence by believing in you, make you believe in a future, feel positive.

But she can just as well make you feel miserable, dash your hopes & dreams. It's why people keep looking for relationships - they want that moment of bliss again where they feel they're on top of the world, even if the chance of getting knocked down is pretty much 100%.

[Quintopotere]

They're evil I tell you!! Evil! :laugh:

Of course! :p

I've never counted only on girls to turn good my life!
They could help, as like a friend or a parent can do if YOU let they help you.

However, you don't have to surrender, cause there can be always good!

[Tito]

They're evil I tell you!! Evil! :laugh:


You're so right man. The problem is, that I seem to be addicted to them:confused:.

So I'll have to live with it, I guess.

[Sebatianos]

OH. MY. GOD.
...
So, sorry about resurrecting old topic, just wanted post this. BTW, I'm still alive in case any of you were wondering, and I'm into my studies most of the time, so I don't really have time to post, but I'll try to do it more often from no on ;)
Don't worry, Playbahnosh won't leave you guys, that I promise :amused:

Nice to hear your studies are going along fine and that all the problems you had at home, with your ex, with your female dorm buddy, with you failing exams, with you getting along as a DJ and writing reviews for a computer magazine... At least I hope you made the best out of all of it. Haven't kept any of the e-mails to check everything that was going on there...

Anyway - enjoy and welcom back PEACEMAKER!

[Playbahnosh]

Nice to hear your studies are going along fine and that all the problems you had at home, with your ex, with your female dorm buddy, with you failing exams, with you getting along as a DJ and writing reviews for a computer magazine... At least I hope you made the best out of all of it. Haven't kept any of the e-mails to check everything that was going on there...

Anyway - enjoy and welcom back PEACEMAKER!

Thanks dude! But you missed something there, I'm afraid. I've been fired from the university, there its the freggin WW3 at home, and I just moved home from Veszprém (the city I was practicly living in for the last three years, the city where my uni was). So, yeah, that. Anyway, I don't have much time now, I'm on a borrowed dial-up connection now, also lost my awesome 2G cable line. I try to email you sometime, when I can.

Also: Anybody knows a job somewhere on Earth for a college dropout skilled in PC maintenance, installation, troubleshooting, webdesign, PHP (work experience), C, Java, JSC, audio editing, radio DJ (work experience), Party DJ, Announcer, Technical writer, reviewer (work experience), System administrator, Mainly everything to do with everyday PC maintenance and troubleshooting even corporate, and I have a few hidden talents as well. It's pretty urgent BTW.

I know it's not really good to post a job seeking app on a community board, but I guess worth a try. I trust you guys, and I don't trust those online workforce pages. I just don't have a university degree, and that disqualifies me from a buncha works, because employers won't even talk to me without a degree, they don't care what skills I have if I don't have paper. And that is sooo wrong.

Anyway, please don't ban me Mr. Titan :love:

[gregor]

do you speak slovenian?

[Sebatianos]

do you speak slovenian?
Asked the guy from Albania :laugh:

Why didn't you at least change the country in your profile gregor :cheesy:

[Playbahnosh]

No Gregor, I don't speak Slovenian. However, I speak Hungarian (figures), English (as you can see) and German (to a certain degree). I'm also interested in Japanese, but I don't speak it yet, just a few phrases learned from the huge ammount of anime I watched, and I started a basic Japanese video course, but I'm nowhere with that just yet. I'm willing to learn BTW, if that counts...

[Scatty]

Did you ever think of getting out from where you are to somewhere else, to travel a bit around, you know what I mean? Sometimes a bit of "fresh air" is just the right thing to bring inspirations into the head that you would have never expected before that.
You look to me a little bit like on a bottom of a dark pit, and are getting only sucked in deeper and deeper into that sh***. I had such time myself, so getting out of where I was, escaping all the memories in that place and everything else that was dragging me down, was just the thing I needed.
Might help you too. Once you're out of there you might actually notice the bright sun shining above you again ;)

[gregor]

No Gregor, I don't speak Slovenian. However, I speak Hungarian (figures), English (as you can see) and German (to a certain degree). I'm also interested in Japanese, but I don't speak it yet, just a few phrases learned from the huge ammount of anime I watched, and I started a basic Japanese video course, but I'm nowhere with that just yet. I'm willing to learn BTW, if that counts...

Well if you don't mind moving you could could try getting something in Ireland or UK. check the EURES site. they have plenty of offers. some are good as well.

at the same time you owuld do like Scatty proposed.

[Playbahnosh]

Yeah, I registered at the EURES site, completed my CV in Hungarian and English, but still nothing, no work for me. I don't want to do slave work for virtually free, and for the better jobs they need a degree I don't have, so I don't think there is anything I could do from now on than wait. I have a few jobs I applied for here at home, one at Flextronics and one at a radio station, still waiting for an answer, but I don't expect anything good.

For the travelling part, I don't know. I already lost my friends at Veszprém when I moved home to Zalaegerszeg, and I only have this borrowed dial-up, I don't have a connection on my comp, so I can't even talk to them over MSN or whatever. This sucks! I don't know ANYBODY around here, and my parents keep bugging me all the time, driving me insane slow and steady. I practically lost everything I built myself in the last three years. My connections, friendships, my "home" in Veszprém...damit, what am I to do now? I don't wanna go abroad...even more strange places, with strange people, strange costoms....n stuff. I keep losing everything I build around me, why? This is so not fair...

Okay, I finished whining for now, sorry about that. So I'll wait for this EURES stuff, something might actually happen...

[Mighty Midget]

Well, I'll be cautious offering any advice since I'm working on myself these days but, as you I too feel I keep losing everything and it's not always just a feeling, I do lose what I've got, my friends, my social life, people I care about, family, self-respect, respect, belief in myself, all those things that matters. The big change for me is the slow dawning the answer is in myself and the way my views or lack of views on, and my misconceptions of, myself and my surroundings are the main reasons I keep losing everything. I will say I didn't lose it as much as I wasted it. I don't have an answer to how it should be or how to get there, but it's my most important "project" ever to look into myself and find those things that need to be changed and to get rid of the ideas I have that are wrong and holding me down.
I can only speak for me, but I'm coming to believe the solution to my problems is in me and I believe you will find your answers in you and only you. I don't really know you so I can't tell you how you should go about it, but I have my own topic here on AB and you're most welcome if you find anything there that will be of any help in your search.