Proof The Human Race Is Doomed

[amazoness girl]

My mum showed me these quotes, I thought they were funny, hope you think so to!!

'note to self: must find out if that was a 'to' or 'too'
Lable's on some products:

On a Myer hairdryer:
"Do not use while sleeping"
(Dammit that's the only time i can do my hair!!!)

On Nanna's Tiramisu dessert (printed on the bottom):
"Do not turn upside down"
(Well it's a bit late to tell me that now isn't it?)

On a Mark's and Spencer Bread Pudding:
"Product will be hot after heating"
(And this is a surprise because???...)

On Packaging for a K-Mart iron:
"Do not iron clothes on body"
(wouldn't this save me a bit of time on my shirts though?)

Boot's Children Cough Medicine:
"Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication"
(yeah, I bet all the road accidents would cut down a lot because we stopped the Five year old driving, after taking their Calpol!)

On Nobby's peanuts:
"warning: contains nuts"
( :blink: Well blow me!)

On Nytol sleep Aid:
"warning: may cause drowsiness"
(Why was I taking this again?)

:[img]http://www.abandonia.com/forum/html/emoticons/laugh.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='laugh.gif' /> well anywho I hope this brought a few laughs it certainly brought me some!

[Havell]

The internet is full of these.

Japanese Kitchen Knife:
"Keep out of children"

Packet of peanuts on an American Airline:
"Instructions: 1) Open packet. 2) Eat nuts"

Oh, and that "may contain nuts" thing on the packet of peanuts isn't so strange once you know that peanuts aren't actually nuts, but are processed in the same factories as nuts, and therefore must have the warning.

[BeefontheBone]

Still, they're usually the things that cause the strongest allergic reactions - and that label is simply due to EU labelling regulations which apply to all sorts of products (or so I thought, although the tub of macadamias and cashews next to me only says "Please remember small children can choke on nuts"), it's not like anyone decided to put it on there in case an incredibly stupid person who was allergic to nuts failed to realise there were some in there.

There's a label on my door which I found in Marks and Spencer on a child's nightie (while I was standing next to it in the queue, before you get any ideas) which reads "In the interest of safety, it is advisable to keep your child away from fire and flame" whcih always tickles me.

Incidentally, that should be a "too".

[allyfaucet]

I've seen these before


amazoness girl, out of curiosity, why do you always attach an image at the end of the topics you make? :whistle:

[A. J. Raffles]

Originally posted by allyfaucet@Nov 25 2005, 05:33 AM
amazoness girl, out of curiosity, why do you always attach an image at the end of the topics you make? :whistle:
So those precious 200k don't go to waste every time?:P

[Quintopotere]

Originally posted by amazoness girl@Nov 24 2005, 09:52 PM
On Nanna's Tiramisu dessert (printed on the bottom):
"Do not turn upside down"
(Well it's a bit late to tell me that now isn't it?)

:kosta:

Who designed that box should be a genius!

[SupSuper]

Chainsaw:
"WARNING: Do not try to stop the chainsaw with your hands or genitals"

:roflol:

[Sebatianos]

ENJOY THEM!!! (http://www.sebourn.com/stupid/stprod.html)

My favorite was:
On a hose nozzle there was a warning that said: "Do not spray into electrical outlet."

Oh and check out the other pages on that site (stupid signs and so on). :D

[troop18546]

These are just a few minor warnings for TOTAL idiots, so there's nothing to worry about, amazoness. :whistle:

[allyfaucet]

You've got to think that with such specific warnings.....it HAD to happen at least once, right? :P

[amazoness girl]

Originally posted by allyfaucet@Nov 25 2005, 05:33 AM
I've seen these before


amazoness girl, out of curiosity, why do you always attach an image at the end of the topics you make? :whistle:
I just like to do it, it's like my "tm" (trademark), ask Danny252 he knows whats going on...
:ot:
(I find it fun to do also)



*Tries to think of better reason... thinks to self, it's all good* :whistle:

[plague]

Somehow I feel that those warnings are more than necessary. I have once seen a guy who lost his finger after stucking it to a fast spinning saw blade (blood and screaming really doesn't look as nice in real life as they look in the movies). There wasn't a WARNING!!!!!!!!!!!1 written with so big letters that even a blind can see them.

[efthimios]

Why TF did he put his hand there and what did he think it would happen when a fast spinning saw blade meets a finger? Break the blade?

[Sean]

What kind of idiot tries to stop a hard shiny metal blade spinning at over 60mph with his soft spongy fleshy hands?

Mug.

[Iron_Scarecrow]

Never give me anything sharp. No matter how I try I always end up cutting myself.

EDIT Not that I'm a cutter, I'm just a little clumsy.

[TheChosen]

Originally posted by SupSuper@Nov 25 2005, 11:43 AM
Chainsaw:
"WARNING: Do not try to stop the chainsaw with your hands or genitals"

:roflol:
Ive heard that one before, but you made it better with the word "genital".

LOL

[Nikson]

I dunno about anywhere else, but all the lighters you can buy in my town (normal cheap ones, not Zippos or anything like that) have a label on them. Among other things, the label says "Light away from face" (probably to deter smokers from lighting up) and "Ensure flame is completely out before putting lighter away" (I usually keep my finger on the trigger after I put it in my pocket).

I can provide photos if you don't believe me :P

[Iron_Scarecrow]

That reminds me of a comedian I once saw.

"I bought some pyjamas the other day that had pockets. It's great now because I used to have to hold things when I went to sleep."

LOL

[troop18546]

Last one was a doozie. LOL

[eolsunder]

We used to laugh about stuff like that in the military.

Weapons that would have the dangerous warning labels.. "This side towards enemy".

Really? I was planning on pointing it at myself. Good thing that Label was on it, otherwise, man! I would have been in trouble.

But if you think about it, there are REALLY stupid people in the world who are either

A) too dumb to have common sense

or

B) Doing something so they don't realize they are doing something stupid.


Otherwise, You would never have people smoking cigs at gas stations, people driving through red lights, people stopping on train tracks, etc.

[TheGiantMidgit]

Most of these are due to the fact that anyone today can sue for nearly anything, -unless- there's a warning smeared across the offending object.

Seanbaby, for example, has this to say on the subject:

"I've figured out how the world got so uncontrollably sarcastic. It's warning labels. Everything we buy is covered in directions and warnings so ridiculous that the only people who could benefit from them have no prayer of actually being able to read them. How can you not be sarcastic when the packaging material in your stereo tells you it's not food? There are things the size of a football that are legally obligated to call themselves choking hazards. I understand babies love to eat matchbox cars, but if something's more than a foot wide, it shouldn't say "CHOKING HAZARD." It should say, "GO AHEAD AND TRY TO EAT THIS, MR. BIGMOUTH."

Funtastic Fact: The only warning label on the Billy Bass singing fish is "USE PARENTAL SUPERVISION WHEN CHANGING BATTERIES." Of all the products in the world, this thing needs warnings more than anything. For example, "CAUTION: PRODUCT WILL ROB YOU OF ANY SENSE OF PRIDE." or "WARNING: YOUR PURCHASE OF THIS DEVICE HAS FLAGGED YOU AS AN EXPENDABLE CITIZEN IN THE GOVERNMENT'S DE-POPULATION PROGRAM."

Ridiculous warning labels come from two places: idiots and people pretending to be idiots for the purposes of a lawsuit. If people find out you're intelligent, you're going to have a hard time convincing them that you didn't know it would hurt if you poured hot coffee on yourself. If you say something like that, you better follow it by saying, "UURBLLGGGG," blowing spit bubbles, and soiling your pants. A non-idiot is never going to tell a room full of people that they ate an odor eater because "the box didn't tell them not to." No, if you managed to get to adulthood, chances are you've figured out what products kill you when you eat them, and what's okay to pour on yourself. It's only a matter of years before we won't even be able to watch TV because the screen will be obstructed by giant words saying, "DO NOT RAM HEAD THROUGH. NOT TO BE TAKEN INTERNALLY."

Lawsuits are destroying our ability to survive. We may be too stupid to get through a cup of coffee without help, but we're smart enough to know that our idiocy can make us rich. You may have seen a person walk boldly into high speed traffic. It's because they know that if you hit them, you might be buying them a new boat. It's kind of a step down from the instincts we had as caveman to get the hell out of the way when a giant rock was rolling at us. No caveman was going to jump in front of a dinosaur and scream "Ka-CHING!" all the way to the caveman hospital. At the rate we're going, we'll have all quit our jobs in thirty years and be trying to kill ourselves full time."

Curses removed courtesy of yours truly. I does it for the childrens.

[Nikson]

Awww, put the foul language back in :D It always makes stand-up comedy rants funnier :P

[TheGiantMidgit]

or you could just go to http://www.seanbaby.com/ the most BESTEST site this side of the interweb.

A disclaimer for you young'uns with your virgin vocabularies:

"This site is a gift to the world from San Francisco. All articles here are the property Seanbaby. Their ownership is protected by several government laws and nearly one type of karate. Comments about the site and my striking good looks are welcome, but keep in mind that if something here offended you, pulling the stick from your (behind, oh ho ho. How droll) gets you back to your kid's soccer practice a lot faster than writing an angry letter to me, crybaby."

[Iron_Scarecrow]

I ran a red light once, turning left, but only because there was an ambulance behind me who also wanted to turn with its siren going and all lanes were full so it couldn't go around me.


And the pyjama one reminds of another one I saw. Forget his name.

"I have a belt, it's holding up my pants, my pants have belt loops, they're holding up my belt, I don't know what going on down there, whose the real hero?"

[Blank_box]

:roflol:

Warning: THRER ARE SOME PEOPLE SO DUMP TO DO SO.

I remember that my microwave have very big lable on the front " RADIOACTIVE, DO NOT LOOK IN SIDE WHILE USING."

Unfortunately, my cousin came from countryside (in my country this mean very undeveloped region) and he was too interested in my microwave... What do you think he will do next?

After started waving my pizza this guy look through the tiny hole at the side of it... Then he was blind for weaks. The doctor didn't sure that what he would be next due to the side effect.

Perhaps, the words "If you look at everything anybody don't look at, you'll gain WHAT the others don't" is his philosophy(or just curiosity or stupudity... Idon't know)

And he gained SUCH the others don't really. :D

P.S.
The warning lable also translated in to my language as well...

[The Fifth Horseman]

"This side up." On a military-issue helmet.

[Danny252]

On the microwave: I can look in the front of my microwave...