lethe
20-06-2005, 01:07 AM
1994: Kurt Cobain dies. 6 different MTV specials should be enough to see the extent of that event in music business all over the planet. Punk goes downhill and "grunge is dead" signs spring from every country that has enough lumber and dyes to make them.
What happens after?
1995: Spice Girls! Based on early 90's pop "artists" (Take That, Madonna) and 80's rock ballad producing bands (which are now under pop category, where they should be) like Whitesnake or The Bangles, they introduce young dance pop styles that catch young minds with their short skirts... Err - strong voices and boo... Funny dance choreographies. From the deepest, darkest corners of dance clubs, another artists (also referred as imitators) decide to join the wrecking party and bring chaos all over MTV. 1997 beats records for technology industry, counting 2 billion radios destroyed from rage attacks from listeners after several ear injuries.
1998: Metallica goes off the charts (they have half of the guilt anyway). Rock is no longer on TV, except for the occasional hair metal song by GNR or Bon Jovi (who by the way got a new hairstyle by then, just to look amazingly gay). Backstreet Boys are the band of the year. Every blonde in the world decides to release a single.
2000: Linking Park and Limp Bizkit show up. The line between pop and hip hop was crossed. Multiple riots by metal fans. Someone accidentally trips on some rocker hair and dies of concussion. Satan is linked to the murderer. Old school metal bands like Immortal, Venom, led by the self-entitled evilest man on Earth - Marylin Manson go mainstream in a anti-pop movement. Hip hop followers hide from yet another riot in a cinema and end up watching the Star Wars trilogy. They find the force, and it's called "Yo". Rioters run in panic.
2001: Jennifer Lopez reaches #1. Latin rappers adapt "Yo" to something no one understands because their accent is terrible. Eminem (which by the way had just gotten off detox center, otherwise known as asylum) likes it. Hand fetichists turn on MTV for multiple orgasms.
2002: Eminem decides he wants to be black. Michael Jackson smirks and teases him on national television by saying "I was faster". Televisions broken this year: 39,123,139. Rock fans are considered outcasts.
2003: George Michael repeats himself for the 194th time: "I'm not gay". His videoclip with policemen dressed in leather and gay scenes in bathroom is a new record high on daily exhibitions (On MTV, where else?). George Michael reconsiders his position. Rockers unite and manage to vote on MTV awards (under cover off course). Nicole Kidman elected worst singer ever
2004: Famine in poor countries is a all time record, and AIDS infects 90 million people. Those news are suppressed simply because Britney Spears has a new single, and Michael Jackson is jailed. Who would have thought of that? Bloodsheds among gangs, started by different concepts of rap and hip hop (at least they're killing each other). 76% of MTV viewers watch it muted. Headbangers just can't ignore that many boobs.
2005: Movie about Ray Charles. Typical answer of a 17 year old pop fan: "Who?". Good Charlotte are considered punk artists of the year. Greenday fans protest. People that lifted "Grunge is dead" signs 10 years ago are ashamed of theirselves and wish Kurt Cobain could ressurect. Dave Grohl answer: "Are you mad? I'm making lots of money with Foo Fighters". Meanwhile Joe Satriani declares himself gay and starts dancing in order to find a new contract. MTV introduces "Headbangers" show to give their microphones some use.
Any statistics, information about artists or dates, unless obvious, are purely fictional and were created by my boredom.
What happens after?
1995: Spice Girls! Based on early 90's pop "artists" (Take That, Madonna) and 80's rock ballad producing bands (which are now under pop category, where they should be) like Whitesnake or The Bangles, they introduce young dance pop styles that catch young minds with their short skirts... Err - strong voices and boo... Funny dance choreographies. From the deepest, darkest corners of dance clubs, another artists (also referred as imitators) decide to join the wrecking party and bring chaos all over MTV. 1997 beats records for technology industry, counting 2 billion radios destroyed from rage attacks from listeners after several ear injuries.
1998: Metallica goes off the charts (they have half of the guilt anyway). Rock is no longer on TV, except for the occasional hair metal song by GNR or Bon Jovi (who by the way got a new hairstyle by then, just to look amazingly gay). Backstreet Boys are the band of the year. Every blonde in the world decides to release a single.
2000: Linking Park and Limp Bizkit show up. The line between pop and hip hop was crossed. Multiple riots by metal fans. Someone accidentally trips on some rocker hair and dies of concussion. Satan is linked to the murderer. Old school metal bands like Immortal, Venom, led by the self-entitled evilest man on Earth - Marylin Manson go mainstream in a anti-pop movement. Hip hop followers hide from yet another riot in a cinema and end up watching the Star Wars trilogy. They find the force, and it's called "Yo". Rioters run in panic.
2001: Jennifer Lopez reaches #1. Latin rappers adapt "Yo" to something no one understands because their accent is terrible. Eminem (which by the way had just gotten off detox center, otherwise known as asylum) likes it. Hand fetichists turn on MTV for multiple orgasms.
2002: Eminem decides he wants to be black. Michael Jackson smirks and teases him on national television by saying "I was faster". Televisions broken this year: 39,123,139. Rock fans are considered outcasts.
2003: George Michael repeats himself for the 194th time: "I'm not gay". His videoclip with policemen dressed in leather and gay scenes in bathroom is a new record high on daily exhibitions (On MTV, where else?). George Michael reconsiders his position. Rockers unite and manage to vote on MTV awards (under cover off course). Nicole Kidman elected worst singer ever
2004: Famine in poor countries is a all time record, and AIDS infects 90 million people. Those news are suppressed simply because Britney Spears has a new single, and Michael Jackson is jailed. Who would have thought of that? Bloodsheds among gangs, started by different concepts of rap and hip hop (at least they're killing each other). 76% of MTV viewers watch it muted. Headbangers just can't ignore that many boobs.
2005: Movie about Ray Charles. Typical answer of a 17 year old pop fan: "Who?". Good Charlotte are considered punk artists of the year. Greenday fans protest. People that lifted "Grunge is dead" signs 10 years ago are ashamed of theirselves and wish Kurt Cobain could ressurect. Dave Grohl answer: "Are you mad? I'm making lots of money with Foo Fighters". Meanwhile Joe Satriani declares himself gay and starts dancing in order to find a new contract. MTV introduces "Headbangers" show to give their microphones some use.
Any statistics, information about artists or dates, unless obvious, are purely fictional and were created by my boredom.