King of the Hill

[The_Lemming]

OK, so there is a hill, in a country called Abandonia:).

And I have built a theater on it.

The point of this game is to destroy the previous poster's building or structure somehow, then build something on the hill yourself.

For instance, the next poster could say:

"Nobody is willing to pay the overly expensive prices at your theater, and it closes.

I build a giant statue of a Lemming."

We'll start with a giant statue of a Lemming on the hill.

[hahajejeje]

No one its gonna clean the statue of that lemming
I build a restaurant called "the good old times" on the hill

[The_Lemming]

The ESA protects a game called "The Good Old Times", and sues you for infringement, thus putting you out of business.

I build a castle on the hill.

[Mighty Midget]

Castles are NO GO and the aforementioned ESA demands its dismantlement and forces the hill to be dismantled as well. The hill is, however, rebuilt at a different location and after a deal with the ESA, a hobbit hole is built, pretty much as a hole in the ground.

[hahajejeje]

now that hole is fulled with animals,no one wants to plunder it,so I built a house on the hole

[TotalAnarchy]

The angry rodents ate all the wood from your house, and so your structure has been leveled to the ground. I've built an amusement park for the rodents.

[El Quia]

The amusement park is closed due to higyene problems related to rodent infestation.

I demolish it and build an Evil Overlord HQ

[The_Lemming]

I parachute an army of Lemmings in, and they bash, mine, dig, and bomb the HQ to bits.

They then build a staircase to the top of the hill, which has scenic views.

[TotalAnarchy]

While looking at the beautiful sun, the lemmings were blinded by the powerful light and their noses were dry, so they couldn't see, nor smell. That resulted in their painful death, without water. (sorry) The acid that was formed during the process of putrefaction has melted the stairway. I have built a memorial in their honor.

[El Quia]

The maintenance of the memorial gets cut off and the memorial fall into disrepair. Eventually, nothing remains.

I build a nice house and a loving couple moves in

[The_Lemming]

They later see a beautiful spot by a nearby lake, which has even more scenic views, and have their nice house carefully moved and rebuilt by the lake.

I build a giant statue of the Abandonia logo.

[hahajejeje]

Bill Gates "bough" that Statue and transforme it into a microsoft logo.After that,all Mac ILovers destroy that Statue.
I built a School of Jokes in honor for hahajejeje :rocks:

[Mighty Midget]

The school is explained in detail and ruined.

I build a submarine bunker on top of the hill.

[El Quia]

the bunker becomes a target in an unspecified conflic an is destroyed.

On top of the hill, the statue of a mighty tree is build.

[The_Lemming]

A giant mob of Abandonia fans comes to protest the destruction of the Abandonia Logo Monument, and destroy the tree statue.

They then build Camp Abandonia on the hill.

[Robdemon]

A mob of tree statue huggers kill the abandonia fans.

They rebuild the tree statue and add many more tree statues to it making a tree statue forest, they start hugging the tree statues.

[The_Lemming]

A giant earthquake opens a crack in the hill, swallowing the statues (but the people escape).

I build a giant pencil.

[Robdemon]

I sharpen your pencil into nonexistents.

I build a statue of me.

[The_Lemming]

I drop a giant Lemming statue on your statue, crushing it.

I build a fortress for the Lemmings, with the giant statue on top.

[Robdemon]

I resurect the previously killed lemmings and use them to destroy the fortress and the lemmings inside.

I build a undead lemming city on the hill.

[Mighty Midget]

I build a steam powered lemming with a tiny, square moustache and all the other lemmings follow it do their doom.

I build a hill upon the hill.

[The_Lemming]

And upon your hill, I build the Tower of Barad-dur, complete with the EVIL LORD LEMMINGAURON!

(He has the One Ring of Lemmingland.)

[Robdemon]

I cast change terrain causing hills to turn to grassland and the tower to crash to the ground killing evil lord lemmingauron.

I build a wildlife sanctuary.

[The_Lemming]

My Lemmings bash it to bits.

I build the level shown in my avatar.

[El Quia]

The level crash to DOS. I build a well with a botomless bucket.

[Yes Or Nay]

Actually, the well is bone-dry. Doh.

I erect a temple and dedicate it to to the eternal and allmighty Sun God.

[El Quia]

There is a nuclear war. The sun is forever hidden because of the nuclear winter. Lots of angry ex-worshippers destroy the temple.

I build a school where kids learn to see in the darkness and nuclear survival lessons

[Robdemon]

Super mutants attack and destroy it.

I build a moon.

[El Quia]

An army of rats eat the moon (made of cheese, of course).


I build a comfy bed

[Robdemon]

The army of rats are still hungry and eat the comfy bed.

I build a amusement park for the rats, it is given exception to the hygiene check for rodents.

[The_Lemming]

Except then an army of the (rodent) lemmings invade, and open a portal to the DOS realm, enabling the (green-haired) Lemmings out to attack!

This time, they're from Lemmings 2. They use fencing swords, club, bazookas, mortars, and flamethrowers to decimate the park.

They make the DOS portal permanently open, allowing any DOS game characters out that want to come out.

[hahajejeje]

The Doom soldiers smashes all those litle greenies.
I built a mansion on the hill

[The_Lemming]

The Lemmings return, because you forgot to destroy the DOS portal, and scream "We are the INSUFFERABLE LEMMINGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" which blows away the mansion. They then close the portal.

I build a giant DOS monument.

[hahajejeje]

You forget the maintence of it,so its detroid by the corrosion.
I built a hahajejeje statue and I maintence it :rocks:

[The_Lemming]

The land is bought by the Edgebiter Chemical Co., run by Mr. Lemming, Esq. He builds a chemical processing plant, with the other Lemmings as employees.

[El Quia]

The chemical processing plant blows up in an accident, killing each and every one of the lemmings. Lemmings are banned everywhere because of this.

I build an empty, giant minitower

[The_Lemming]

I bring in an army of angry Lemmings FANS, who rip the empty, giant minitower to pieces.

I build a giant Rubik's Cube on the hill.

[Robdemon]

The hill hasn't been rebuilt since I casted change terrain so that is impossible.

I build a hill.

[El Quia]

The hill is a lie.


I build a tiny island on a tiny like and I surround it with a HUGE and IMPENETRABLE spherical force field.

[The_Lemming]

Unfortunately, no one actually remembered to DESTROY the DOS portal. Lemmings remotely open it, then are able to enter and destroy the force-field generator.

On the tiny island, they build Lemmingland (see the Map from Lemmings 2: The Tribes)

[El Quia]

The DOS portal is infected with the virus Michelangelo and is completly wiped out. The sockwave of this affects Lemmingland, bringing about it's destruction as the island is swallowed by the lake.

A sudden earthquake creates a mountain. Centuries of erosion turn it into a hill. I build a black monolith on it.

[The_Lemming]

Unfortunately, there is a fatal flaw in it, which the last surviving Lemming exploits with 1 last action...

5
4
3
2
1
"Oh No!"
POP!

I build a statue to honor that heroic Lemmming.

[El Quia]

History forgets that lemming and the metal from the statue is recycled. I build a zigurath

[The_Lemming]

You are sued for recycling the Lemming memorial by the AFPOM (Association For the Protection Of Memorials). Control of your ziggurat is then transferred to me.

I go to the top of the ziggurat, insert a crystal into a slot on a short column, and as a red beam glows.......

THE DOS PORTAL RETURNS!!!!!!!! MUAHAHAHA!

This time with IBM AntiVirus!

And.......

LEMMINGS EMERGE ONCE AGAIN!

[Simoneer]

''You overlooked the possibility of a nuclear strike.

The hill is now completely unaware of the normal. Enter, the hill of the abnormality.

I, from the clouds above, descend a bunch of underlings, the 'care bears', to clean this radioactive place up.''

http://www.babyssilkie.com/images/fabric/large/care-bear.jpg

- One of the care bears descending from above.

''I then code the most destructive virus in existence. Surrounding, protecting, serving this grand hill of mine the virus is. I sit on a chair in the middle of the whole thing, with care bears standing in a circle around me. Their powers are unknown. Watch your step carefully.''

http://i87.photobucket.com/albums/k149/stewieredgrave/FluffyT.jpg

- One of the care bears, post-radioactive exposure.


(Tell me if I broke the pattern, or any rule, please. My attempts at epicness usually fails one way or another. XD)

[El Quia]

You wake up, and realize that it was all a dream.


I build a physical representation of an escher's painting

[Simoneer]

A tornado hits the building, making the whole thing like a normal house. Only difference is that it has stairs reaching all the way up to the roof.

I then walk up to the roof, set the whole thing on fire, and jump the hell away... And finally, I build a virtually indescructible pyramid on the ashes.

[El Quia]

The ashes gain sentience and inhabit your piramid. Realizing that the piramid was only "vistually" indestructible, they destroy it, destroying their civilization in the process.


I build junk yard

[Simoneer]

What you didn't know, was that the pyramid had Mumm-Ra The Ever-Living in it, who simply cannot be destroyed. He flicks your pathetic little mortal body away with his finger, and then runs off, screaming like a little girl.

I build a complex temple.

[The_Lemming]

The FBI drop in and investigate El Quia's Junkyard on suspicion of credit card fraud, and Indiana Jones puts all the complex temple's secrets in a museum.

I bury the temple, leaving an underground passage open for access, and build a giant floppy disk containing all of Abandonia's downloadable games.

[Simoneer]

And I play them games.

Wait... Did the game just end?

[El Quia]

Mmmm, I don't know... maybe? Except in the case a gigant flying magnet flies near the floppy, corrupting al the data...


Oh, no!!!! My words have come true!!!! Argh!


I build a magnet trap

[Simoneer]

And some bastard de-magnetizes the magnet trap.

I, uh... build... a donut. (Not bake.)

[TotalAnarchy]

King Kong thinks it's real and eats it.

I build a wooden toilet for King Kong.

[Robdemon]

And I set fire to it.

I build a black hole.

[Simoneer]

And the black hole swallows the world. (Oh snap - plot twist!)

I, who survived by being in another galaxy (named ''Simonagtica''), build a new hill, on a planet made of awesomeness - with an indesctructible statue of myself on top of it.

[El Quia]

The awesomenessis not so awesome as it appeared at first. The planet dissolve into nothingness.

On a distant solar system, a life bearing planet slowly evolves. on a grass-covered hill in this planet I build a model of a spaceship

[The_Lemming]

And something emerges nearby...

It's rising from the ground while scary organ music plays!

It's...IT'S...

THE DOS PORTAL AGAIN!!!!!!

I and my band of monster lemmings emerge, and destroy the spaceship.
(I escaped the black hole by leaping into the DOS portal just in time.)

I build the Castle of Dr. Brain, inhabited by lemmings.

[Simoneer]

And I wipe 'em, and the castle, out with my bare hands... for I am God.


I build the Castle of Aarrrgh

[El Quia]

The legendary Black Beast of aaauuugh moves in and destroys everything. Then, the animator suffers a fatal heart attack


I build a tiny little giant

[Simoneer]

Haha! So you're familiar with Monty Python? :D

Anyway, a Predator comes along. The tiny little giant is killed within 3 seconds.

I build a scissor.

[El Quia]

The scissors rust.


I build a rainbow bridge to another hill.

[The_Lemming]

And on both of those hills, I build the Castle of the Lemmings!

[Yes Or Nay]

And on both of those hills, I build the Castle of the Lemmings!

The castle Lemmings declare war on each other and massacre themselves mercilessly. The remaining ones kill themselves out of depression.

I build a giant statue of a three-legged dog.

[Sal]

The giant three legged dog statue sags on one side and rolls down the hill crushing everything in its path.

I build a weather changer and cause it to rain there is no land left only water

[El Quia]

The incessant rain makes the weather changer to rust and stop working. The water slowly drains away.


I build On the resulting swamp, I build a castle (c'mon! It's easy!).

[The_Lemming]

However, your gardener accidentally leaves the garden hose on too long, and the castle sinks into the mire due to too much water being added to the swamp.

I drain the swamp, build a hill over it, and then build the Jedi temple on the hill.

But instead of training "normal" humanoid beings as Jedi, the Masters are now training an army of.......

LEMMING JEDI!!!!!!!!!

[El Quia]

The lemmings fall all to the Dark Side, destroying themselves in the resulting infighting.


On the ruins, I build a piramid of solid gold with a little diamond on top

[The_Lemming]

Then, four towers with loudspeakers on them arise from the ground, and as they start playing the Lemmings theme song, an army of zombie lemmings arise and bash through the pyramid.

They then melt the gold dust that resulted, and use it to build a giant Lemming statue, and put the diamond on his crown.

[Yes Or Nay]

A portal appears and through it march the prominent warlords with their servants and kill everything in their way. Then, they melt the golden statue and take the blood diamond back through the portal.

On the resulting empty nothingness I build an airport, which ships passengers to Tokyo and Kyoto.

[Fubb]

Dur to the low income of tickets sold to people flying to Tokyo and Kyoto, the Airport management opens flights to and from New Dehli aswell.

A Pacifist from the far-off land of India by the name of "Gone-De" Arrives at your airport and preaches to few survivors of the previous slaughters, aswell as low-wage and depressed airport staff about how violence is not the answer

[sgtboat]

My military launches a low level B-52 strike and levels all structures on the hill.
I call it paradise and put in a parking lot.

[Fubb]

The UN members vote for a sanction! Sgtboatia is censured and unable to do anything!

All weapons in the parking lot including numerous SAMs, Tanks of many kinds and small arms are surrendered to the Benevolent Abandonian Military Junta led by Fubb! He declares martial law, and all sgtboat supporters in the hill are EXECUTED! Fubbanese troops dig in, and change the parkinglot to an extensive network of extensive defense!

[Saccade]

Being a rogue nation, Saccadia (A Sim City) decides that it will drop not only nano-disassemblers over the entire site, but gas also.

The nano machines get busy tearing everything apart, reducing all to their basic atomic particles, leaving nothing but dust.

The dust is blasted away as the gas laden warhead smashes into the defences.
The gas acts as a potent steriliser. This land is now entirely useless and dead.

When the air is cleared, dust swirling in small eddies, Saccadia overviews it's new territory.
Bleak, polluted and not very promising.
Saccade decides to decontaminate, to allow new growth in the future.

Eventually the soil is capable of sustaining life (the particles from the nano-dust helped with this) and grass grows back on the hill.
Things start to look up somewhat.

Though, empty and grassy mounds may attract the occasional picnicker, Saccade decides to build a massive complex devoted to TIV's.

Total Immersion Video-games are a big hit amongst the many obese, game addicted, non working populous of Saccadia.
Saccade decides to complete construction of the TIV complex and fill it with the kinds of gamers you get who play PS3 for 4 days straight, finish Metal Gear Solid on Big Boss Hard level in 3 hours and have converted their couch into a toilet.

With a refrigerator attachment and microwave.

Now Saccadia can play on-line without some bloody addict calling everyone a Noob and Pwning everything.

Peace reigneth and entertainment is king.

The Hill is, for the time being, a part of the domain of Saccadia and we shall defend it as best we can.
For playing online and not getting killed every two seconds is more fun than some obese arsebag with an aimbot ruining the game for all 34 people connected.

Those bastards are all in this building!!!

Do what you will.
All I have done is subjugate and collect them so they are at the mercy of the next King of the Hill.

King for a day, Fool for a Lifetime.

(good album)

[El Quia]

They all die. The accumulated urine overflows and short circuit the machines. A raging fire reduces everything to ash, which is blown by the wind to the corners of the Earth.



I build a nice garden, guarded by a stern policeman.

[Saccade]

A pregnant woman comes along and, as required by law, the Stern Policeman removes his helmet for her to piss in behind a bush.

Whilst he's nonchalantly waiting for her to finish, the pregnant woman goes into labour.
He rushes over at her cries but, before he can radio for help, he is struck over the head with an iron bar by the pregnant woman's husband.

Who just so happens to be a very good doctor.
He delivers the baby and is repulsed to find that his wife has given birth to a feral, writhing, spitting & biting half-breed Wolf-Cat.

Probably as a result of shoddy decontamination by the Saccadian clean-up crews.
They always spend too much time reading the porno mags they find. Some have even been know to trawl ever onwards in their search for more and more shocking porn, only to die in the quest.

The Doctor and his Wife quickly wrap the monster-childe in a blanket, administering a short acting sedative to keep it asleep as they hastily bury the body of the Stern Policeman.

They take great care not to get his brains and mush over their clothes.
The splatter they rake into the garden's beds, over where they bury Him - in amongst the Gardenias, just left of the Wisteria.

Deciding that they want nothing to do with their horrific offspring, the Doctor leaves £1000 in cash stapled to the freak-baby's head.

Who dares enter the garden to claim the prize from this vicious monster of a child?!

[Yes Or Nay]

A sudden flash of light literally erases everything from the surface. However, the destruction also produced a lone sign, which now stands atop the hill, reading:

"No more epic-long nonsense, ruining the basic humorous idea of the game. Anew!"

[Saccade]

A sudden flash of light literally erases everything from the surface. However, the destruction also produced a lone sign, which now stands atop the hill, reading:

"No more epic-long nonsense, ruining the basic humorous idea of the game. Anew!"

Cheers mate...
Way to make someone feel a bit better about themselves when they've had a bad day.

I'm out.

[Yes Or Nay]

Cheers mate...
Way to make someone feel a bit better about themselves when they've had a bad day.

I'm out.

Listen fella, don't blame me. I feel sorry for you having a bad day but you saw how it goes in this topic that no one writes such long posts to continue the story. The point is being brief yet somewhat funny/creative. This ain't a real long story.

How about you continue the story, taking into consideration what I've mentioned? Huh? Huh? :)

[El Quia]

The sign is torn down.

I build a fancy pub.

[Pellaeon]

Due there is a big concurence only two miles away, where there are cheaper and higher quality drinks, everyone went there and not to your fancy pub. The pub went bankrupt, and is demolished becasue it doesn't fit to my criteria.

I build a heavily fortified castle on the hill - that should prevent intruders.

[El Quia]

You cannot pay the high maintenance that is needed, so you abandon it.

I buy the property, demolish it and build a giant water slide.

[Yes Or Nay]

Unfortunately, a water source was non-existant and during one occasion a kid sliding on the giant thing badly scratched it's back. His mother sued the operators, forcing them to go bankrupt and eventually the whole place is razed.

I position a man to the place, and order him to hand out free samples of a new fragrance brand.

[Pellaeon]

No one wanted to take a sample of that brand. It was such a bad quality. So, I send the man back where he belongs to.

The hill is now MINE and I station my space shuttle there in self-defense mode.

[Simoneer]

I easily remove it using uncooked spaghetti.

I place... THE MAZE OF DOOM (tm) on the hill. Doest ye dare to enter, adventurer?

[Pellaeon]

No way. A low-level bombing with a B-2 stealth bomber destroys the maze, and I sell the junk to make some profit.

So, here I am, standing on the hill, watching for people who want to claim it, with god mode ON.

[Simoneer]

''Cheat_disable'' *Pew pew*

I claim the hill again.

[Pellaeon]

Though having beaten up, I return with a couple of construction dozers and just before you realize what's going on, a new building is made - An internet-hosting structure, and a new company starts - PellServer, Inc.! People are joining the cheap and quality service, and now there are 256 internet names bearing like x.pellserver.org

[r3tr0g4m3r]

I cut the main internet cable, so your servers a shutting down, and you need to close.I build a big temple on the hill.

[Pellaeon]

Local atheists don't like your idea, and that temple blocks their beutiful landscape. They decide to raze it to the ground.

I hire some people to collect taxes from everyone who's passing through.

[Simoneer]

I send Mr. Manhattan to wipe them out, then make him kill himself.

I build a trashcan, next to a pole with a phone. A pimp cat lives there.

http://www.freewebs.com/thetctimes/busted.jpg

[Yes Or Nay]

One day, the phone suddenly rings and when the cat answers everything goes BOOM. Very sad.

I build an university dedicated to teaching people how to divide by zero.

[The Bard]

One day they manage to actually divide by zero and the whole universe instantly disappears and gets replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable, and on the parallel-universe bizarre and inexplicable version of said hill, I build a nuclear-blast-proof vault and call it Vault 11.

[r3tr0g4m3r]

I send a spy into the vault, to kill everybody.I build a biiiiig stone cube, for nothing.

[The Bard]

I get real angry at you, turn green and "Me smash your stone!"
Then I relocate the position of the lost Vault and repopulate it. Yay, Vault 11 is back...

[r3tr0g4m3r]

I build another biiiig stone cube and I drop it at your Vault.I bulid another Vault, which name is Vault 000

[Simoneer]

I add another 0 to the name, and make everyone in it my bitch.

Who dares to enter the pimp Vault?

[Yes Or Nay]

I add another 0 to the name, and make everyone in it my bitch.

Who dares to enter the pimp Vault?

Hammertime!

As a result of a pure coincidence, MC Hammer walks around your vault and performs one of his dances in front of it. All the biatches get hypnotised and suddenly want to bask in his awesomness. They quit and pimpvault is forced out of da business.

I build a giant-sized violet-coloured statue of Saladin.

[Simoneer]

Aladdin rushes in, and humps it until it falls over.

I build a big, ball-shaped fan the size of Earth that blows away anything that comes near it.

[Pellaeon]

As all fans in the world, this fan also needs energy. So, a commando unit destroys the power supplies of the gigantic fan, and then I order an Imperial Star Destroyer to engage the tractor beams and pull it away. The rest is the job of the Death Star.

So I'm standing now there, again. But once you touch me, my picture gets resonated - it's a hologram, projected from a planet far, far away. A planet under Imperial control. Anyone who comes close to the projector is considered hostile and is to be shot on sight. Literally nothing can pass through the serious defense. (Find some other way to disable it, don't always just think about destruction. :D)

[Simoneer]

Well... I ignore the hologram, and enter with my indesctructible armor of doom (tm).

I build a big pool filled with Coca Cola.

[Yes Or Nay]

Well... I ignore the hologram, and enter with my indesctructible armor of doom (tm).

I build a big pool filled with Coca Cola.

I am veeery thirsty so I drink it all. To the last drop.

I build the Spanish Inquisition!

[The Bard]

Wow, I didn't expect the Spanish Inquisition...
Anyway, I use the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch to clear the place out, and go on to build the Knights who say: NI!



.
.
.



NI!

[Pellaeon]

For the knights, it seemed fun for the first and the second day to always say: "NI!", but later they realized that it's not that fun and they rather went back to a local internet café to download and upload games from and to Abandonia.

I land on the hill with my Fokker D.VII to have lunch, but I am planning to fly away soon, it seems that there's quite a big unrest in the area.

[Danny252]

I get hungry and decide that Fokker makes a good lunch for me.

I have my corp from EVE camp the hill in Mining Barges - watch out for them strip miners, bitchez

[Pellaeon]

Revenging the loss of my D.VII, I order my Star Destroyer (Yes, I'm a SW fan) to fire at the barges, out from their weapons range. When all mining barges are destroyed, a wreckrecycler collects the remaining ores and from the profit I build an office for Abandoned Times, where the most active visitor is the still active hologram.

[El Quia]

There is a power surge and the hologram short-circuit. Everything goes up in flames.

I build a nice resort with a dark past.

[Yes Or Nay]

It's dark past catches up with the resort and Wookie pillagers raid the place. Afterwards they rig the place with explosives, detonate them and lastly, eat the remaining rubbish. Satisfied with their work, they go gamblin' to Las Vegas.

I build a talking chair named Frank.

[Pellaeon]

The talking chair had a really bad personaly. When a bad-tempered lumberjack wanted to rest on the chair, the chair eventually said: Hey you ***-****! Get your *** off!
After hearing all these censorable things, our lumberjack used his axe, chopped Frank into several smaller logs and sold him. Tough luck.

I put a notepad with my dedication there, for grabs.

[El Quia]

The wind blows it away.


I build a garden of dead roses.

[Pellaeon]

With a smiling face like :D, I go in there with a lawn-cutter and remove all the dead roses, and I replace them with living tulips. But not ordinary tulips! Once these tulips have a sexual reproduction (yes, plants do that, but not in a human way), these tulips become... Space aliens.

[Yes Or Nay]

God bless, I arrive before the tulips actually reproduce and have Lawrence, the giant chicken, eat them.

I build a miniature replica of New York.

[El Quia]

It is so small, that ants take it to their colony and give it to the larvae to play with it.


I build a rock with papier-mâché.

[Pellaeon]

The ants find out that your papier-mâché rock is yumeeee so they take it away.

I leave the hill free. :D

[El Quia]

OMG, the void!

By building a cheese cottage (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_family_of_Ebnez_of_Xanth#Chameleon) I both build something and destroy your vacuum.

[Pellaeon]

Information spreads quickly, not only at humans. Just before you'd know, the cheese cottage is overwhelmed by mice and eat the last of it. Poor chameleon now must find another cheese to live in.

I build a Macrosoft factory on the hill, which starts production immediately, spreading a malware called 'Nyista' all over the world.

[El Quia]

It goes into bankruptcy.



I build a museum of old games.

[Pellaeon]

The museum decides to close its gates because it cannot withstand the concurence called 'Abandonia'.

I plant a grass on the hill.

[aarne]

I nuke the hill and build my fart on the hill :hihihi:

[Pellaeon]

If you mean 'fart': I use a small match to ignite the hill - metane (CH4) burns pretty well - and so the hill is under my control.

If you mean 'fort': I send in my elite spy to inicite a revolt. The spy moves out, reports, and only a few minutes later everyone kills each other inside the fort. One remains, but that person dies in his wounds. The rest is the work of the stonemasons.

Soooo, the hill is mine, so I start to mine!

[aarne]

Yeah i meant fart...
I collapse the mines by throwing stick of TNT in it and causing earthquake...
I build pure awesomness on da hill...piic out broos

[The_Lemming]

I destroy awesomeness with two proton torpedoes from a good old fasioned Incom T-65 X-Wing Space Superiority Fighter!

I build the Lemming Monument on the hill.

[aarne]

I melt it and create monument of Baal on the hill

[El Quia]

Baal is not worshiped anymore and he gets angry, destroying the monument.

I build the tallest skyscraper in the world, with a statue of a dwarf on top.

[aarne]

Zeuz gets pissed and thorws a lightning bolt at skyscraper which causes it to collapse :P

Builds the deepest hole in the world on the hill.

[El Quia]

The hole collapses.

I build a breeding ground for miniature giant space hamsters.

[The_Lemming]

The Kaminoans sue you for copying some of their cloning technology in your breeding ground, and it is forced to shut down.

I build a giant monument to proper spelling and grammar on forums, topped by a golden Lemming statue.

[Pellaeon]

I got to 'luv' monuments. :D I fly near it with a Cygnus Corp. Assault Gunboat, loaded with heavy rockets, set the firing mode to dual, and fire. All what remain are shattered gold and dust.

I build a gas miner colony named "Bespin" on the hill, mining precious Tiberium.

[El Quia]

There is no gas, and the mining company goes broke.


I build a bakery that sells spicy cakes.

[Pellaeon]

The spice that the bakery used turned out to be poisonous! Not being able to pay the penalty, this company also goes bankrupt. It appears that it's not a good idea to start a company on this hill, they'll always go bankrupt.

So I decide to build a WW1 Aerodrome here.

[The_Lemming]

The WWI aerodrome is moved to another hill because you forgot to pay the rent on this property.

I buy (not rent) it and build a monument to Windows 3.1, DOS, and Lemmings on the hill. It also features a museum with 486 computers available for use for free. They have gigantic 100TB hard drives, with every DOS and Windows 3.1 program to date loaded.

[El Quia]

You realize that, although the WWI aerodrome has really moved, everything else was just a dream and never happened.

I build a happy pond, with happy fishes, happy frogs and happy leeches.

[The_Lemming]

I add a happy house on the shore, and happy Lemmings move in.

[The Bard]

I kill all the Lemmings with a flamethrower, and build myself a harem with biatczhes..

[Pellaeon]

A rich arabian oil company owner moves in and buys everyone inside.

I build a flightsim on the hill.

[El Quia]

The flightsim sucks, and nobody plays it.


I build a paintball course, with guns that throw tomatoes.

[The_Lemming]

Someone gets upset that the tomato stains didn't wash out, and sues you.

The land is sold to me, and I build Lemming Manor on the hill.

[El Quia]

The lemmings escape with your fortune and you cannot continuing maintaining the manor and it get auctioned.

I buy it and tear it down. I build a physics lab

[Pellaeon]

The physics lab was researching the gravitational well, and on the last test, the experiment went wrong - and it launched the lab into deep space, because the well generated too much vacuum, and the force it used was accidentally inverted. The lab collided into the moon, and all the researches it had has been destroyed.

I build two intersellar merchants on the hill. ISM-One launches into space safely, without any problems, but ISM-Two has problems with its drives. It can't start, and it's currently under repairs.

[The_Lemming]

Jabba the Hutt's evil twin comes and takes over, and then abandons the hill.

I build the construction yards for a new Death Star, with a Lemming crew.

[Pellaeon]

I'm taking my A-Wing mk.II starfighter (two laser cannons turning 360 degrees!) and go down the trench to shoot the thermal exhaust port. The chasing fighters are killed automaticly without much turning and evading, shooting backwards. Using proton torpedoes, I destroy the construction yard. The remains are sold off for scrap metal.

The situation went bad. I couldn't build anything on the hill because the lemmings engaged in a fierce battle against wolves.

[Yes Or Nay]

The wolves ultimately lose. Only to rise from the dead as undead wolves! They chew good on the Lemmings and finally manage to win.

Now what to do with undead wolves... I add a couple of undead elephants, mix them with undead rhinos and spice with undead zebras. I establish an Undead Zoo!

[The_Lemming]

My army of Lemmmings builds a pyramid out of their stairs, which covers the Undead Zoo for all eternity.

On this pyramid, they place a golden Lemming statue that can shoot lasers from its eyes.

[Pellaeon]

It's another duty for Pellaeon, Captain of the Imperial Navy! I hop into a TIE Defender, launch into the atmosphere, set deflector shields on. The laser shots did scratch my shields, but I manage to fire a missile in dumbfire at point-blank range, so the statue is destroyed. The pyramid is being shot out by Imperial spies and saboteurs. The slight, temporary radiation takes out the undead as it burns away their soul.

I establish a peaceful village, where no taxes are payed. Residents are happy, and all are loyal to the owner of the village.

[El Quia]

But such an Idyllic village could not last. One day, Marauding barbarians destroy an pillage the village, burning it to the ground, before continuing their orgy of destruction elsewhere.


I build a nice exposition of modern art into a maze made of bushes.

[Pellaeon]

The bushes attract many visitors, however, a cigerette was thrown into one of the bushes and the entire garden burnt down.

I build a planetary shield on the hill.

[El Quia]

Planetary shield have not been invented, so they are simply a mock-up.

I build a giant bucket made of Iridium.

[The_Lemming]

I kick the bucket over the hill.

I build life-size versions of all of the levels from all the Lemmings games.

[Pellaeon]

Lemmings riot because only noobies play on those levels - And they destroy all levels.

I establish a defended research colony.

[The_Lemming]

One of your scientists accidentally spills some highly volatile explosive material.... :blowup:

I come and fill in the crater, then build the heavily guarded Fortress of Lemming!

[El Quia]

The fortress is deserted when an epidemic strikes it. All the defenders are either gone or dead. The place is disinfected, burned and destroyed to the last pebble.

I rebuild the hill and build an orphanage for orphans of superheroes fights

[chainsoar]

The press get wind of the fact that the children are all orphaned because of superheroes and kick up such a shitstorm that the place is forced to close to avoid the publicity.

The local council knock it down and I build a wizard tower on the site.

[El Quia]

A wizard experiment goes wrong, and the tower is blown up.

I build a ruined city with a mysterious past

[The_Lemming]

Part of that mysterious past turns out to be that the city was built by Lemmings!

They rebuild the city to its former glory. It turns out to actually be Atlantis!

[El Quia]

All the population of Atlantis downs itself into the sea. The city lies in ruins until it drowns itself, too.



I go to another hill and build a colony of mutant ants the size of a dog.

[chainsoar]

A band of roving pest exterminators on a quest to find the anthill of legend come across your ant nest and destroy that crap with flamethrowers and junk. Much action takes place, a bunch of exterminators die heroically, and one guy finishes off the queen ant after uttering a witty one-liner. Then he bangs his hot partner who acts strong but is ultimately weak at the end of the movie...I mean fight.

I blow up the hill, and turn it into an underground base of evil villainy.

[ComboTroop]

I jump out of nowere and get a Similey And...


Base----------**** :blowup:
:rifle:- - - - - - - - -
Blow the crap outta that the underground base built into the hill!

And build a nuclear bomb on the hill, if destroyed will turn everyone into Mutants! XD MUAHHAHAHAHA...

[El Quia]

The cockroaches nest in the hill, and eventually they find their way into the bomb. Their depredations disarm it, although now there radiation leakage. Eventually it is disposed as nuclear hazard.


I build a parking lot with people disguised as popular cartoon characters as valet-parking.

[ComboTroop]

Parks a massive JCB and wrecks the carpark, and makes a new Abandonia HQ on it! :D You wouldn't wanna destroy the new HQ!!!

[chainsoar]

I blow up the HQ just to be bloody contrary, 'cause I don't like being told what I do and don't want to do. I then build a giant supermarket on it despite local opinion being against me. I own your souls now, no local business can compete.

[Sarlix]

Local competition is the least of your worries. your supermarket is in violation of planning act 32b/c section 5, which states, and I quote "No building that houses fridge/freezer units maybe be built more than 1000 feet (304.8 meters) above sea level". I believe this hill is 304.9 meters in stature. Your supermarket has been knocked down and in it's place a giant novelty chicken has appeared.

[El Quia]

The chicken has avian flu, so it dies.


I build a restaurant chain specializes in roasted chicken

[chainsoar]

You used meat that carried the avian flu virus and your restaurant is shut down. Also you get fined infinity billion dollars.

I build a big sign on the hill that says "EAT LESS CHICKEN"

[El Quia]

A society dedicated to the extinction of chickens tear down your sign.


I build a town populated entirely by nerd midgets.

[chainsoar]

Unfortunately, the hill is located in a small town populated by ignorant rednecks, and they storm your nerd haven, burning it down. The few remaining nerds scatter, vowing never to display their intellectual prowess again, lest it be the death of them.

The rednecks build a monument to how great they think their town is.

[_r.u.s.s.]

it turned out that the monument is actually a big penis and then got owned by local feminists

feminists built a huge pit that suspiciously remind of female genitalia

[chainsoar]

A hitherto undiscovered volcano beneath the hill erupts out of the pit. I lol hard because it looks like the hill is having a period.

I undermine the local sea defences and flood the area, leaving the hill as the only land above water for miles around. I build a huge defensive structure on top with my personal army in it.

[El Quia]

Your personal army is composed of hamsters, so they get overran by cats. The now empty defensive structure is then easily occupied. I bring it down and sell the debris as souvenirs.


I build a flea market where, among the various goods, is hidden the black falcon.

[chainsoar]

I release a horde of poisoned mice, which your falcon eats. He dies.

I build a meth lab on the hill and get all the locals addicted, essentially wiping out the local workforce for years to come, making any construction or demolition work basically impossible for a very long time.

[Yes Or Nay]

A S.W.A.T. unit raids the compound and afterwards it is razed to the ground (by govermental airforce). I bring my own workers and build a life-sized statue of chainsoar.

[ComboTroop]

Steals all your supermarket stuff and blows it up!
Builds a tin can on the Hill!

[Sarlix]

/Gets giant air rifle and shoots tin can off the hill!

Puts giant wind turbine on the hill, it now provides free energy safely for everyone, who can complain about that eh eh?

[ComboTroop]

BLLLARGHH!!! Green enegry! Makes the wind turbine go so fast that it flys away!
I build a Nuclear PowerPlant with leaking radiation!

[El Quia]

IT blows!


I build a Giant Concret and granite dome over the radioactive wastes.

[ComboTroop]

The Radioactive waste, was SUPERMEGAOMFG Radioactive waste, and so the Dome melted to the sheer awesomeness of this waste!
I get Garry's Mod, and the Source Engine from HL2, and get a missing object not found in the Steamapps folder, thus making a "missing-object" ERROR sign word, bright red and flashing on the hill

[chainsoar]

I uninstall Steam, because it is made of ass and fail. I erect a hall for gatherings of the "WE HATE STEAM BECAUSE IT IS MADE OF ASS AND FAIL" club.

[El Quia]

It gets disbanded by the police.



I build a swamp over the hill. I populate it with hallucinogenic frogs.

[hunvagy]

Junkies raid the place and force the frogs into extinction, and drink all the swamp water in the process.

I build a new HQ for Cobra with a moat, and fill the moat with RC controlled killer goldfish.

[ComboTroop]

I get a clock and a bomb and place on your tiny HQ! tick tick boom!
And i build a i posted this at 00:50 Sign on the hill! XD

[The_Lemming]

Paradox...

I created this hill in MY time zone, where it was 5:50 when you posted that, making your sign invalid.

I build a monument to Linux and other open-source software, on the hill.

[chainsoar]

I format your hill and install XP. I stand on top of the hill, naked, shouting "BILL GATES IS GOD".

[The Bard]

You get arrested for being naked in public. I take over the hill and take a big dump on the top of it, and then proceed to eating and rubbing myself with my own feces, enjoying every moment of it. Yay.

[The_Lemming]

At which point you die, never knowing what happened, as a gigantic penguin named Tux shoots you with a ranged weapon from Freedroid RPG.

I wash the hill, then build the new headquarters of GNU, Linux, and Mozilla on the hill. It is outfitted with all the latest computer equipment, and there is a fire pit in which the employees gleefully burn the copies of Vista that were included with their computers.

[esgmaster]

Sadly, a team of Microsoft elite, equipped with EMP grenades, destroy said HQ.

A combined team of the X-Men and the Brotherhood of Mutants form a base on top of the hill.

[The Bard]

And then M-Day happens again, and they all die in great torture.

I make a hippy circle with hot teenaged british chicks and we proceed to eat mushrooms and trip all around the hill.

[El Quia]

The mushrooms were all poisonous and you all die.



I build a haunted mansion.

[chainsoar]

I pick up the phone. Who am I gonna call? Ghostbusters. They destroy the ghosts and build a new HQ on the hill.

[El Quia]

The government closes their operation, liberating all the trapped ghosts.


I build a nice castle full of knights, bards, dancers, cooks, archers and a simpleton with a spoon.

[Pellaeon]

After a row about melee or range fighting between the knights and the arches in the local tavern, the population of the castle start fighting against each other. The castle gets so many damage from the used siege weapons that it collapses. Those who were not killed by each other has been buried alive under the ruins of the castle.

I build a Manfred von Richthofen memorial on the hill.

[The_Lemming]

I move said memorial to a nearby park, then proceed to build the Castle of the Lemmings! It used to be Dr. Brain's, but he lent it to the Lemmings. They've also invited their friends, the Pingus (Linux equivalent of Lemmings, but they look like penguins).

[Pellaeon]

Microsoft forms an alliance with Macintosh, and the castle can't resist their joint forces. After a month of heavy siege, the castle is in ruins, the lemmings and pingus abandon the place.

"Whew, What ruins again!" Shouted Pellaeon, adressing the world of Abandonia. Well, let's get working. Using a wreckrecycler, I clean up the mess, sell what I can, and from the profit I put a computer there, which has all the games on its hard drive AB has, and it boots on DOSBox.

[The_Lemming]

I insert a Fedora Core Live CD, and install it over Windows, then install the Linux edition of DOSBox.

Then, I build in a failsafe, disabling the CD boot, so you can't reinstall Windows without the password, which is a specific line from one of the Star Wars movies or books.

[Pellaeon]

Pirates from the orgaization Black Sun get into the system of the PC, disabling every single system on it, and the PC itself is sold as an antique.

A Sabre lands on the hill. (Spacecraft from any sci-fi which has sabre class ships.)

[The_Lemming]

And then the Rebel Mon Cal Flagship Independence appears, and destroys the Sabre.

Then, the Rebels build a base on the hill, and the Lemmings join the Rebel Alliance.

[Pellaeon]

A temporary black hole appears that swallows in the whole base. Some refugees could leave.

I deploy a mining station on the hill.

[The Bard]

Albanian miners that you employed decide you're not paying them enough, and decide to boycott.
The price of your company rapidly falls and I buy it for a dollar, and make a Trekkie wax museum inside of it.

[Pellaeon]

Things were made in a haste. You were organizing things so rapidly that you forgot to put in an air-conditioner. All the wax statues inside deformed. The company went bankrupt.

Anyobody can build on the hill, for a monthly fee of $500k, which should be sent to the bank account of the international company, PMI. (Pellaeon Manufacturing, Inc.) The PMI has a stabile income from spaceship industry.

[The_Lemming]

However, a new shipyard built on Krant makes spaceships 100x better than PMI, and puts them out of business.

I build a Jedi Praxeum on the hill, and refuse to pay your fee.

[Pellaeon]

People realize that the ships might be big, but they are not flexible enough. PMI starts to rebirth from its ashes, and continues to build ships. Not well known as before, but those who want to buy a quality ship, they buy PMI ships.

The Jedi Praxeum has been overrun by a clone army of Jorus C'Baoths. Shortly after the destruction, the genetic information of the sith clones change, and all die.

Enough battling for the hill. I was kind enough to give it away to rent, but people just selfishly take the place for themselves. I decide to leave it. What I leave behind is a sign - keep of the grass!

[The_Lemming]

I then put up my own sign in your sign's place:

"Abandonia Park"

In the park there is the Lemming Playground, acres of grass, and 500 DOSBox-for-Linux-running computers with all Abandonia games installed.

[Pellaeon]

All the lemmings in the park commit suicide with plugging out the 220V cable and putting them on themselves.

Imperial Intelligence sets foot on the hill, they clean up the mess and starts to work.

[The_Lemming]

However, Corran Horn leads a flight of X-Wings in, and they kill the Imperial Intelligence people.

Then, they build a new base for Rogue Squadron on the hill.

[El Quia]

George Lucas films his "prequels" and now everybody hates star wars and everyone leaves :p



I build a wooden bench on the hill, paint it green, and an old man sits there reading the newspaper.

[Pellaeon]

The old woman comes and explodes with 2x damage. The old man lands in the water and drowns.

I build a medical research institute.

[The_Lemming]

Unfortunately, all of the employees at the Linux/Mozilla/GNU HQ you destroyed come, move all the important research stuff to other places, and turn the center back into the aforementioned HQ.

[B-Wolf]

An army of rogue androids come and destroy the Linux/Mozilla/GNU HQ and turn the survivors into their robot minions. After destroying the HQ, the androids build a factory to create more androids for their army.

[esgmaster]

Magneto finds the base and destroys it.

Then the Zerg take it over.

[dosraider]

The monolith eradicate the Zerg and create a secondary Wishbringer on the hill.
Anyone passing by will have to join the C-Consciousness.

[esgmaster]

However, they do not notice the red beam pointed at the center, until the nuke hits the hill.

The hill is relocated to an area with Son Goku guarding.

[B-Wolf]

A movie agency notices Son Goku guarding the hill and asks him to star in their next movie. Son Goku agrees and the movie agency builds their studio on the hill. The hill is now owned by the movie agency. :max:

[esgmaster]

The movie sucks and the company goes bankrupt.

Aliens take over.

[B-Wolf]

Duke Nukem comes and kills all of the aliens. After that, he stays on the hill to make sure that things are all right.

[esgmaster]

Son Goku removes Duke from the hill.

Son Goku and friends guard the hill.

[B-Wolf]

A low budget movie company comes and starts filming by the hill. The corny acting and terrible dialogue is too much for Son Goku and friends to take and they flee from the hill. The hill is now in control of the low budget movie company.

[esgmaster]

Cell takes over the hill, and makes it Animetown.

[The_Lemming]

The Lemmings march up the hill, bash through the town, and then build the great Pyramid of the Lemmings on the hill.

[supa_mario]

Mario Jumps on the lemmings heads, crushing them with his own body mass. Before lowering the flag beside the pyramid of Lemmings and setting off fireworks .

[esgmaster]

Sonic runs around Mario, causing a tornado, thus sending Mario into the sky. (and then the sun)

Alucard (from Hellsing) takes over the hill along with the rest of Hellsing.

[The_Lemming]

Then, portals open underneath all of them, and they fall into an underground Aperture Science Testing Chamber, filled with Aperture Science High-Energy Pellets. Then, the new Aperture Science Computer-Aided Enrichment Center is built on the hill.

[esgmaster]

Ewoks attack your settlement and turn it into...

Endor's Moon on a hill...

[The_Lemming]

I get permission from the Ewoks, then build Aperture Science Computer-Aided Lab #314 next to the hill.

[esgmaster]

A time paradox accurs, causing the Ewoks to join the Galactic Empire, thus Scout Troopers and Ewoks destroy the lab.

And build a third Death Star right on top of the hill...

[The_Lemming]

A fleet of X-Wings, B-Wings, Y-Wings, and Mon Calamari cruisers flies in and destroys the Death Star 3.

I build all of the levels from Super Mario 64 on the hill.

[esgmaster]

Sonic runs through then and destroys them.

Eggman then builds the Death Egg on the hill.

[The_Lemming]

I then give it one small push, and it rolls down the hill and breaks.

After singing "They're Taking the Hobbits to Isengard!", I build Rivendell on the hill.

[CaitSith]

Due to it no longer being the Last Homely House East of the Sea I secure planning permission to Bulldoze it.

And build a giant wicker man on the hill.

[The_Lemming]

However, he is struck by lightning and burns.

I build a huge building on the hill, and inside it I create the most powerful computer to date, running Linux.

[CaitSith]

Due to being linux it is destroyed by windows co.

I build a blimp on the hill.

[The_Lemming]

However, Tux builds a catapult, and uses it to launch himself to the blimp, where he bursts it with his beak.

Tux then plants the flag of Linux on the hill.

[CaitSith]

Bill gates comes up and burns it.

I build a Statue of Bill Gates standing on the corpses of all other OS designers.

[The_Lemming]

However, Steve Jobs and Linus Torvalds sue you for using their likenesses without permission.

The statue is melted, and the Sanctuary of the Weavers is built on the hill.

[CaitSith]

However Bill gates destroys it from his tower of solitude.

I build a lemming statue on the hill.

[The_Lemming]

I add 3,141,592 more lemming statues.

[CaitSith]

I push one and all the others fall off the cliff.

I build a statue of Linus Torvalds on the hill.

[B-Wolf]

An army of Battlemechs come and step on the statue of Linus Torvalds transforming it into a pile of rubble. The hill is now occupied by the army of Battlemechs.

[CaitSith]

I infect the battlemechs with malware and they shut down, rolling off the hill.

I build a Dwarf Fortress on the hill

[esgmaster]

Rather unfortunately a small group of Kobolds completely and utterly destroy the fortress with C4, and then build an undestroyable fortress.

[CaitSith]

I dig open my pre prepared magma traps and burn all the kobolds to death.

I demolish the fortress and build a Wendy's on the hill.

[DarthHelmet86]

I eat all the food at your Wendys closing it down.

I build a Thunder Dome.

[CaitSith]

^I banish everyone from it and destroy it.

I build a new studio for Interplay so they can work on FO:VB. on the hill.

[DarthHelmet86]

I burn down Interplay but only to build a studio for Black Isle for the same reason.

[CaitSith]

Unfortunately BethSoft hire assasins to kill Chris Avellone. I demolish the studio and Build a memorial on the hill.

[DarthHelmet86]

I destroy your memorial to build Trokia games. Nothing can stop RPG makers, they just join new companies.

[CaitSith]

I demolish Troika games to build a Studio For BeniNeko industries.

[DarthHelmet86]

I demolish BeniNeko industries with an army of goblins. Then I build another hill on top of the hill. With a statue of Minsc and Boo.

[CaitSith]

As i don't play BG i have no problems with demolishing the statues.

I build a Cave into the hill

[DarthHelmet86]

I fill your cave in with the left over pieces of the statue, and then built a large WC.