Corrupt-a-wish

[ReamusLQ]

ok, what happens is the first person makes a wish, then the next person corrupts said wish and makes another wish

ex

"I wish for a puppy"
"Granted, but it pees on your carpet. I wish to be the smartest man on earth."
"Granted, but..."
and so an and so on

Ill start:

I wish i ruled the world.

[Mighty Midget]

Granted. here's an unmarked ruler.

I wish I had superpowers

[ReamusLQ]

Granted; you can now make toy poodles blink on command.

I wish I could fly.

[GTX2GvO]

Granted, you are now a fly ready to be eaten by a chameleon.

I wish I ACTUALLY have a spaceship. ^_^

[Tulac]

Granted, you're aboard a Borg Cube.

I wish you were here.

[GTX2GvO]

Granted, You're assimilated to the Borg.
Resistance IS futile!!

I wish for lot's of money.

[Tulac]

Sure, here's one billion deutsch marks for you.

I wish for a non fattening, cheap, tasty, healthy hamburger delivered to me in bed by a hot chick by which I mean a girl not a chicken.

[Lulu_Jane]

Ok, but before you get your hands on anything the universe collapses in on itself in a spectacular implosion.

I wish for world peace.

[Tulac]

And so indeed the world of Gragnar in Andromeda galaxy is peaceful.

I wish for bad things to happen.

[Mighty Midget]

Granted, no wish for you.

I wish for an unlimited supply of burgers

[The Fifth Horseman]

You are crushed under a mound of Zebloogian Wormburgers. All several years past their expiry date.

I wish some n00bs actually read the FAQs.

[Tulac]

Granted, they read the FAQs but still don't get it.

I wish for a beer.

[The Fifth Horseman]

Granted. A bottle of beer appears in thin air and crashes on the pavement.

I wish Hitler has never lived.

[Tulac]

Granted, instead the nazi dictator was called Pitler.

I wish for a role of toilet paper.

[GTX2GvO]

Granted, you're now a toilet paper mummy in the next B-movie.

I wish for a better OS for my brain.
(SO NO WINDOWS!!)

[Mighty Midget]

Granted. You now have the OS of an Oric-1

I wish I was a wizard.

[Tulac]

Granted, you are a bathroom cleaning wizard, use your skills as you see it fit.

I wish I was a lemur.

[GTX2GvO]

Granted, but because of deforestation you have no place to live.

I wish to know everything about Linux.

[Tulac]

Granted, you now have no social life.

I wish my burps would be louder.

[Sonic_Moronic]

Granted, but your farts are louder too.

I wish i live next to an anime store.

[Tulac]

Granted, but it only holds tentacle hentai.

I wish I had as much real money as I have thoth money.

[Sebatianos]

Granted, your thoth account is being deleted as we speak!

I wish I teach different classes!

[Ioncannon]

granted, but its a special ed class...

I wish abandonia will last forever!

[Sebatianos]

Granted, but ESA will protect all the games and the forums will be open only to cash donators who payed over $50 weekly.

I wish I could play the perfect computer game.

[gufu1992]

You play it too much and you die

I wish my wish wasn't been corrupted

[Fruit Pie Jones]

Granted, but you spoke in the past tense (well, sorta) and have not previously made a wish...so you get nothing.

I wish that the word "webinar" had never been invented.

[Mighty Midget]

Granted, but you missed the meeting and is unaware of it, so you'll keep using it while everybody else think you're strange.

I wish I was flat broke

[gufu1992]

You are flat broke and has no insurance!

I wish, I wish I has a dish!

[Himmler]

here's a shitdish.

[Lulu_Jane]

I wish that Himmler made a wish :)

[Sebatianos]

Granted, but it's a secret wish so you can't corrupt it.

I wish I knew what Himmler's wish was.

[Lulu_Jane]

Now you do, and you immediately wish you didn't :D

I wish for corn-free ice-cream...

[Mighty Midget]

Granted, you will instead get corn chewing gum, corn candybars, corn beer, corn coffee and corn flavoured cigarettes

I wish the Sex Pistols would finally realize they should stay in their graves

[Icewolf]

OK, they get amplifiers and instruments to play in their crypt and the speakers are above the ground. Simoultanously the playing is recorded and shipped!


I wish for a world with no need for money.

[Lulu_Jane]

Ok, but then the world descends into a post-apocalyptic nightmare where only the strongest can get what they need, and everyone else starves.

I wish for a sunny day

[Sebatianos]

You're moved to the middle of Sahara with no water on you and ove hundrets of kilometers away from any signs of life.

I wish I had a wish fulfilling genie.

[Mighty Midget]

Granted, unfortunately, it's heavy on the bottle

I wish for a bright future for one and all

[Icewolf]

Granted, the sun will bloat and transform into a red giant, that'll truely be bright.


I wish for uncomplicated software, easy to use.

[Mighty Midget]

Granted, all the software you need to get the job done has now turned into "Hello World"s

I wish I knew how to write computer programs

[Sebatianos]

Granted, you can now write the names of all computer programes ever made, but still can't programe yourself.

I wish I had better money collecting skills.

[Mighty Midget]

Granted, and they'll give you life in prison

I wish I could transport myself instantaniously to any place of choise

[Lulu_Jane]

Granted, but then you wonder what mars would be like, and suffocate from lack of oxygen.

I wish to be Queen of Universe...

[_r.u.s.s.]

granted you.. um. you are the queen of the universe! yeah. aaa um. BIG universe. its so HUGE and difficult to control um..

i wish i didn't screw this post

[Tulac]

Granted, you screwed yourself

I wish for a big balloon

[TheChosen]

Sure: A put the balloon is too big and and because youre tied into it, you fly sky high and the balloon explodes.....

I wish I had a my very own McDonalds

[Lulu_Jane]

You promptly have a heart attack.

I wish I had a motorcycle.

[Halindir]

Granted, you now have a motercycle... *steals*

I wish that i had access to all erotic paysites in this world

[Tulac]

Granted, your PC is now filled with spyware.

I wish I had access to all the classiffied documents in pentagon.

[TheChosen]

Granted. Now all you have to do is to escape trought the window, because FBI and CIA are on your tail right now.

I wish I had a nymph.

[Tulac]

Granted, too bad you're impotent.

I wish I lost all my money.

[Mighty Midget]

Granted. Expect a call from the mob, wondering when you'll pay them.

I wish you a merry christmas

[Sebatianos]

And I'm an atheist, so I take that as an insult.

I wish you good bye!

[chumloofah]

Granted.
I happily leave your company having set you aflame

[Sebatianos]

I wish I had a fire extinguisher :cry:

[chumloofah]

Granted.
A fire extinguisher appears in your lung.

[Sebatianos]

I wish I had a really good cough sirup (and that you'd finally make a wish yourself).

[Mighty Midget]

Granted, you had, but chumloofah wished you spilt it in your pc tower.

I wish they never made Jaws II, III and IV

[Sebatianos]

Granted, btu you don't fear sharks now, so next time you go for a casual swim in the ocean (which you regulary will do every second day) you'll get eaten by the great white shark.

I wish they'd make Ghostbusters III: Hellbent!

[Tulac]

Granted, but it will be even worse than it's prequels.

I wish I knew the past.

[Mighty Midget]

Granted, but you have no idea about your present

I wish I never made this wish

[Playbahnosh]

Granted, you are banned and your post has been deleted

"I wish I had an angel"

[ReamusLQ]

Granted, except I misheard you and now you have a protractor.

I wish for a turkey sandwich on rye bread with lettuce and mustard AND I don't want any zombie turkey, I don't want to turn into a turkey myself and I don't any other weird surprises, you got it?

[Mighty Midget]

Granted, you got the cold turkey sandwich and you turned into a chicken vindaloo, naturally.

I wish I knew how to play a banjo

[Tulac]

Granted, but now you've turned into that kid from Deliverance.


I wish you a happy voyage to the future endevaours of life.

[Playbahnosh]

Granted, *I* will have happy voyages, whereas YOU will participace in a huge highway pileup with your car as a base...under a 18wheeler hauling petrol...(ouch!)

I wish Tulac never made that wish, so I didn't have to kill him

[Fruit Pie Jones]

Granted! Tulac, grateful for your having saved him from immolation, kisses you full on the mouth. There's tongue. And he's been into the lutefisk again.

I wish it was time to go home.

[Playbahnosh]

(@FPJ: GNAAAARGH)

Granted, it is time for you to go home, so you leave the island of Abandonia, never to return again. YOU ARE BANNED! Bon voyage!

I wish I would be more compassionate.

[Fruit Pie Jones]

Granted! You are now the most compassionate person who ever lived. Unfortunately, you can't stop weeping over the countless trillions of bacteria that are needlessly slaughtered every day.

I wish I liked autumn more.

[Tulac]

Granted, but you moved to the North Pole so you can't enjoy it.

I wish you all the best!

[Playbahnosh]

Granted, we get all the best from everything there is...whereas YOU, while under the car pile up soaking in gasoline, a lightning strikes you while a meteor is crashing down, just after you drown in your own blood because the steering weel went through your chest because the seat squashed you onto the dashboard...all in flames...(again: ouch!)

I wish Tulac to live long a prosper...despite this game made me kill him even more ^_^

[Lulu_Jane]

Granted, Tulac has a long and prosperous life, and you die lonely and alone in about 6 months from now.

I wish for a nice piece of cheese.

[TheChosen]

There you go! A very molty piece of cheese. Probably too dangerous to eat.


I wish I would be a wrestler.

EDIT: @Lulu: Ouch!

[Lulu_Jane]

Congratulations! You are now Chris Benoit.


I wish I could speak foreign languages better



EDIT: Ok, I had a little think, and thought I should say sorry, that's a tasteless joke about Benoit. sorry darl :)

[Icewolf]

Granted you know alomost every language there is but you can't make out who speaks what tongue. So you'll end up running from person to person talking to them in foreign sounds and they'll all wander off shaking their heads.


I wish my boss wouldn't be such a moron.

[TheChosen]

Granted. Now your boss is so smart, that he can build robots to do all his work for free. He has no use for you, so he fires you.


I wish I could go to Japan.

[Morrin]

Granted, I'll order you the whole package with tickets... to pukkake show!

I wish I could go to japan too. :(

[_r.u.s.s.]

then get a great job, make Looots of money :w00t: and commit harakiri cause of the overload

i wish i could make a loots of money without harakiri

[TheChosen]

Granted. Youre now a male prostitute.


I wish I would own a copy of "No One Lives Forever".

[_r.u.s.s.]

*a sound of shot from desert eagle fills the room as the dark red blood fills floor pouring down from chosens hole in his forhead* no one lives forever

i wish i had a hankerchief

[TheChosen]

Granted. Youre now choking on a hankerchief which I pushed down your throath.


I wish there would be a more social-based MMORPG.

[Lulu_Jane]

Granted, but now you slowly wither away for years in front of the computer screen playing it.


<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Morrin @ Sep 19 2007, 08 :55 AM) 311755</div>
Granted, I'll order you the whole package with tickets... to pukkake show!
[/b]

I really wish that I didn't know that Morrin actually meant "bukkake" :(

[Icewolf]

Granted you're now getting your mind erased like in "One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest". :tai:


I wish Lulu hadn't screwed her previous post.

[TheChosen]

Granted. I went back in time and killed Lulu before she made the message. Therefore, her screwed post no longer exists!

I wish I had a sexy, intelligent, funny red-head as a girlfriend.

[Icewolf]

Granted she's an oppressing bitch that is cheating on you on top of everything.

NOOOOO! NOT LULUUUU!!!! I WILL HAVE REVENGE!!!! :titan:


I wish more girls would be interested in sports and computer and stay female, kind and attractive. And be non-feministic.

[Lulu_Jane]

Your wish is granted, however, you will wake up tomorrow and suddenly realize you are gay :)

I wish my browser was working properly (sorry for the messed up post)

[Mighty Midget]

Granted, but now they have blocked every site, everywhere

I wish I had a clever wish that could not possibly be screwed up by 10-thumbs genies

[TheChosen]

Granted. However, your wish was so absurb that it blows your head off.


I wish my friend lived on my block.

[Pietafon]

Granted, but it's 15-floor block without elevator, which in Your friend live on last floor and You live on first.


I wish i can speak French.

[Playbahnosh]

Granted, but you now can only say "omlette du fromage", nothing else, ever.

I wish the next post would totally redicule my wish and totally annihilate it.

[chumloofah]

Granted.
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE("Playbahnosh")</div><strike>I wish the next post would totally redicule my wish and totally annihilate it</strike>.[/b]
Rediculous wish.

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE("Sebatianos)</div>I wish I had a really good cough sirup (and that you'd finally make a wish yourself).[/b]
Granted.
I pay attention to the thread and read the first post.

I wish to own my own gun

[Mighty Midget]

Granted. Now the burglar is fireing at you with your own gun.

I wish there were no guns

[chumloofah]

Granted.
All the guns are, at the behest of the US military, melted down and used in the construction of several hundred atomic bombs and immediately launched at Iraq.
They miss the target and destroy every friendly civilian on earth.

[Playbahnosh]

You forgot to make a wish dude ;)

No matter, I make one for ya.

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(chumloofah @ Sep 19 2007, 06:49 PM) 311870</div>
I wish that those atomic bombs weren't real
[/b]

Granted, the a-bombs are not real, infact they are all made of choclate, so now every friendly civilian on earth is covered in choclate now.

I wish this day never existed...

[chumloofah]

Granted.
The week has, since the dawn of time, been 6 days, God never got his day off and, in his bitterness, spends every moment of every hectic work day making the lives of his creations as miserable as divinely possible.

I wish that internetters and texters would all use proper grammar.

[Tulac]

Granted, proper grammar is now A0l sp34k.

I wish that there would be less fanatics on the world.

[Mighty Midget]

Granted, you are now an anti-fanatic fanatic, the only fanatic left, scorned by everyone.

I wish there was more sillyness in this world

[Sebatianos]

Granted, now you wish another wish and wish it wishily, so your wishy wish would wish a wish of it's wishy washy own wishingly full wish.

Wish a wish?

[Playbahnosh]

Granted! *show tune*"CONGRATULATIONS, your wish come true. And your prise iiiiiiis...A WISH! *wild applause* Yeeeeah. It's tax free, and all yours. Now just one more thing you have to do before you recieve you FREE wish *oooooooh*..." ...and I think you know the lines :sneaky: 90's game shows and popup-ads style :devil:

I wish _r.u.s.s. would be my friend again :unsure:

[Lulu_Jane]

Your wish is granted, now you are really good friends, and we are all invited to the wedding in December. Hurrah! :)

I wish I had three lungs.

[Halindir]

Granted, but then YOU GOT BREAST CANCER :l

I wish that i didn't need to go to school so early in the morning.

[Lulu_Jane]

For some reason I found that capitalization really creepy....

Anyway, granted, now you sleep forever.

I wish that I could change the past.

[TheChosen]

Granted. The past has been changed so that you no longer exists!


I wish I had idea for school art report...

[Icewolf]

Granted. You have an idea and you make it happen. Nobody likes it and people are laughing at you for it.


I wish it was easier to choose the proper hardware for each purpose.

[Pietafon]

Granted. You now have a rubber hammer for rubber nails.


I wish that all my wishes will come true.

[Icewolf]

Granted. Your wished are fulfilled by the Devil himself so he screws your wishes in his personal sick way like in "Bedazzled".


I wish upon a star!

[Sebatianos]

Granted, but now everybody knows who your favorite gay porn star is!

I wish you'd make a more chalenging wish to corrupt.

[Halindir]

He did, and you failed to currupt it.

I wish that the english alphabet had the lettera 'Ø, Æ, Å' in it.

[Mighty Midget]

Granted, as well as every other symbol ever concieved by humanity, leaving you with a mess of an alphabet.

I wish there were no health issues involved in smoking

[TheChosen]

Granted. Now cigarettes are valuable if you want to live and since there are lots of people who dont smoke, you have just killed half the population of the earth.

I wish I had The Lost Boys DVD.

[Pietafon]

Granted, but there is a huge scratch on it.


I wish i could give up smoking... :(

[Mighty Midget]

Granted, after the upcoming parachute accident you'll never smoke again.

I wish I had a DC-3 and knew how to fly it

[Lulu_Jane]

Granted, you are now a kamikaze pilot in the upcoming 3rd World War.

I wish for a much better stereo system.

[Playbahnosh]

Granted, you get a NASA model stereo, that unfortunatly gains self-consciusness and takes over the world.

I wish I was healthy again after (now) being ill for years.

[Sebatianos]

Granted, but your insurence expired and you'll get an astronomical medical bill tomorrow.

I wish I'd travell to Jupiter even if I'd die.

[Mighty Midget]

Granted, you are severly crippled from radiation and live a long life in excruciating agony.

I wish for peace on earth, no more war or starvation, food and water for all, and a new softgun and cobat gear for xmas.

[Sebatianos]

Sure thing, as soon as all the humanity dies and the super smart ants start playing with your xmas gifts.

I wish a mod would close this topic.

[Playbahnosh]

Granted, except I don't have the power to close this topic so I closed every other topic in the forum. Congratz!

I wish I had a 1000mbit internet connection

[Beltona]

And then you would clog up your computer with al the porn you would be downloading

I wish i could live in a videogame

[Mighty Midget]

Granted. 'Nuff said. Holy Moses! :D

I wish it could be 1965 again

[TheChosen]

Granted! *Mighty Midget does a Quantum Leap and ends up being a baseball player in 1965. He doesnt know what to do to get back to his time, so he will be trapped in there...forever!*


I wish I had tickets to TNA's Bound For Glory event.

[Icewolf]

Granted. When you hold them in your hands a tiny earthquake makes you drop them and then they are gone with the wind.


I wish for a more fair spreading of earned money in jobs.

[GTX2GvO]

Granted. I now earn one million a year doing nothing and you earn nothing for doing everything.

I wish for the BEST mobile Internet (or Wi-Fi) connection for my laptop.

[Fruit Pie Jones]

Granted! Five minutes after you boot your laptop, you discover it has a Sony battery, which promptly catches fire and reduces the entire machine to a cinder.

I wish weekends lasted longer than two days.

[Tulac]

Sure they now last 3 days, but weeks last 15 days.

I wish that there would be less annoying people on the world.

[Playbahnosh]

Granted, you die. :bleh:

I wish I had a better video card.

[Fruit Pie Jones]

Granted! Unfortunately, your power supply is too weak to power it, so you buy a new power supply. It does not have the correct plug for your motherboard's jack, so you buy a new motherboard. The new motherboard doesn't fit inside your case, so you buy a new case. The new case doesn't fit under your desk, so you buy a new desk. The new desk doesn't fit in your room, so you grab a sledgehammer and begin to knock out a wall. The sledgehammer turns out to be Mjolnir, the hammer of Thor, who left it at your place after last weekend's LAN party. The instant you strike the wall, it is turned to dust. Thor arrives at that very moment and is horrified to discover that his legendary hammer, slayer of giants and flattener of mountains, is being used for home improvement. As he never liked you much anyway due to your tendency to cheat at Counter-Strike, this is the last straw for Thor. He grabs Mjolnir from your hand and pronounces a curse on your family. Since you don't speak Old Norse, you have no idea what he says and don't react at all to the curse. Thor cannot believe your impudence and shoots a lightning bolt from his finger which renders you permanently blind.

I wish I could travel faster than light.

[Tulac]

:kosta: for the reply


Granted, you are now an elderly citizen running for the free seat in the bus.

I wish that I had less posts in this topic.

[Playbahnosh]

(meh. you always make me kill you dude. I'm almost ashamed of myself ;))

Granted, you di...um...no...wait a sec...you are ba...no, that's not good either...hmm....Oh, I know, you have absolutely no posts in this topic, because you posted to the wrong topic all along. Yeah, I managed NOT to kill you this time. How rad am I :D

I wish Alex never became a priest.

[Tulac]

Granted, he is now a nun.

I wish Playbahnosh had never killed me.

[chumloofah]

Granted.
You deny him the pleasure by wringing your neck in the bath until you pass out and drown.

I wish I could play the guitar like jimmy hendrix without turning into jimmy hendrix.
i know that's what you were thinking.
So without quantum leaps and stuff.
And I want to keep my soul.
Just me...
Playing the guitar.
With the mad skill of a jimmy hendrix.
No surprises.

[Mighty Midget]

Granted, you now play like Jimmy Hendrix, and all Jimi Hendrix fans out there are laughing ther legs off.

I wish I wasn't here, but there

[Playbahnosh]

(Crap, MM was faster than me. But I won't delete this cool corruption, live with it :))

O-kay, you asked for it :devil:

Granted! You are the first man to be sent to Mars, in an attempt to colonise the planet. But sadly, when you reach the planet, your ship malfunctions and you crash land. You lose radio contact with Earth, and most of you colonizing supplys are destroyed. However you have life-support...and Jimmy Hendrix's guitar you were given, because you asked so nicely. So you are on Mars. Just you. Playing the guitar. With the mad skill of Jimmy Hendrix (you had time to practise). No surprises. No rescue team either.... Just you and the guitar.

I wish the aliens would come, and give us cool techs.

[dosraider]

Lets get out the mixup you n00bs created.
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Mighty Midget @ Sep 22 2007, 02:09 PM) 312461</div>
I wish I wasn't here, but there
[/b]
Granted, you're on Mars.
Play's spaceship crashes on you.

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Playbahnosh @ Sep 22 2007, 02:10 PM) 312462</div>
I wish the aliens would come, and give us cool techs.
[/b]

They come, and you're assimilated.
You're a borg now.
The sun has a magnetic outburst, you're sucked into the sun's core ... hot borgy, hot!!!!

I wish my ear wasn't itching.

[chumloofah]

Granted.
You lose all feeling in your head.

I wish I could know true love

[Playbahnosh]

Granted! You now know what true love is, but unfortunatly it's so complex you cannot understand what its really about, so you go on living your normal life.

I wish I could speak to animals.

[Lulu_Jane]

Granted, the constant chattering of birds now drives you insane.

I wish for something secret.

[dosraider]

Granted, you learn the secret language of the birdies.
The constant chattering of birds drives you insane.

I wish I could live inside the sun. Must be nice warm there, never winter, aaaaaah that would be good for my ol'bones.

[Lulu_Jane]

Your bones are too cold for the sun, you kill it, and all humanity freezes to death.


I wish for no torrent leechers.

[Tulac]

Granted, there are now no torrents at all.

I wish for a scallezazumy.

[TheChosen]

Granted. Now an octopus called scallezazumy will suck your brains.

I wish for great comic making skills.

[dosraider]

Granted.
You make a enormous comic, you hang it on the Petronas Twin Towers @ Kuala Lumpur.
The towers can't bear that weight and collapse on you.

I wish that my 2 years'ol PC had 2 Gigs of mem.

[Playbahnosh]

Granted.
Now it's too smarts, gains self-consciousness and takes over the word! (again)

I wish love won't hurt...

[dosraider]

Granted, it doesn't hurt, but it kills painless now.

I wish I could fart right now.

[GTX2GvO]

Granted, your nuclear fart just blew up the solar system.

I wish for ALL the money in the world.

(can you guys corrupt this in the right way? :sneaky: )

[dosraider]

Granted.
You get all the metal money that's in the world.

On your head.

I wish I knew what to wish.

[TheChosen]

EDIT: GRaaah!

Granted. However, now its too late to wish for it!

I wish 20 dolphin chore singing "So long and Thanks for all the fish"

[dosraider]

Granted.

A jealous big orca eats you.

I wish I didn't had to wish a wish.

:huh:
Pffffffffffffffffff weird weird sentence.

[TheChosen]

So be it! I'l go to Horseman, ask him powers to control the Forum Games and I'l remove your post(s).

I wish I had a towel.

[Mighty Midget]

Granted. It is now your only possession in this world

I wish I had all I want and need

[chumloofah]

Granted.
Your burglar staves in your face with the stick you keep under your bed in case somebody breaks in before running off with all your stuff.

I wish I could be both flexible and in control.

[Lulu_Jane]

Granted, you are now a paradox and explode.

I wish I could go wherever I want.

[Mighty Midget]

Granted, you now lose all judgement and want to spend all time at a concert listening to "Hotel California", elevator music version, over and over again.

I wish that song was never written

[TheChosen]

Done. Instead of Hotel California, the band wrote another song, which is, to you, more obnoxious than Hotel California.

I wish they would have dubbed 80's & 90's cartoons better in Finland.

[chumloofah]

Granted.
Cartoons from the 80s/90s are dubbed better.
In greek.

I wish I could fly like superman without any unforeseen side effects.

[Playbahnosh]

Granted. You can now fly like superman. Your nose turns red, you grow antlers, and you have this inexplicable urge to sing "Santa Claus back in town...". However you knew this will happen all along.

I wish there was no hangover at all...

[TheChosen]

Granted. There's no drinking, so there's no hangover. You will always be sober and world will always look bad to you.

I wish that today would be my payday.

[Mighty Midget]

Granted. Today is the day you have to pay

I wish you were here

[JJXB]

Granted. Now I'm here with a chainsaw, ready to chop you up :butcher:

i wish i had a golden toilet seat

[Mighty Midget]

Granted, you are now a toilet

I wish for xmas to be less tasteless and sickening

[TheChosen]

Granted. Instead of cinnamon, it'l taste like...tasteless and boring.

I wish I could be in Morrowind.

[Pietafon]

Granted. After few seconds of living in Morrowind You were killed by kagouti.


I wish for a gold fish, which wouldn't corrupt any of my wishes.

[TheChosen]

Here you go. A goldfish that cant be corrupted by wishe's.

Wait! Dont squeeze it...*squeeze*...oh great. Its dead now.

I wish I would be a real chosen one.

[dosraider]

Congrats, you are now a real chosen one.
You're chosen as life-time oarsman on a assault galley.

War is here again, you're ship is in the first row, ah shame, it sinks, and you with it.
It was a short chosen one life span. Real shame.


I wish that my fu**ing keyboard didn't had all those useless OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooo SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooo handy extra fu**ing stupid keys all over it that can open all those apps directly. I fu**ing have shortcuts ya know.

[Pietafon]

Granted. Your "fu**ing" keyboard has now three basic "fu**ing" keys and lookes like this:
http://images24.fotosik.pl/89/5cf42d341d1e835d.jpg


I wish that computer hardware would be cheaper.

[Halindir]

Granted, Computer hardware is now a lot cheaper..BUT NOW YOU GOT BREAST CANCER :l

I wish some aliens died instead of Charlotte.

[TheChosen]

Granted. Oh by the way, youre an alien too, so you also die!

I wish for fun.

[chumloofah]

Granted.
You win a trip to disney land, officially the funnest place on earth, and end up quite disappointed.

I wish i was a jedi

[Tulac]

Granted you're a jedi in the Star Trek universe.

I wish for more porn bots.

[Pietafon]

Granted, now You are one of them.


I wish for a Advanced Power Armor MK II and YK42B Pulse Rifle >:)

[TheChosen]

Granted. However, it'l blow up in pieces in your hands.

I wish Nate Webb vs Delirious match

[Icewolf]

Granted. But it's neither broadcasted nor recorded!


I wish for a faultless car that isn't broken all the time.

[Pietafon]

Granted. You now have Flintstone's car


I wish for raising my earnings

[TheChosen]

Granted. *Lifts J@nek's earnings to the roof*

I wish more freetime

[Lulu_Jane]

Granted, you now have so much free time that you are so bored you become crazy and go on a murderous rampage.

I wish that Skype worked predictably in this neck of the woods.

[TheChosen]

Granted. Now Skype's are very efficent when ran inside Big Mango's


I wish I had a classic wrestling event on DVD which I could watch tonight.

[chumloofah]

Granted.
You rent for the evening a wrestlemania VI dvd, with hulk hogan and ultimate warrior duking it out over the championship for an hour and a half at the end.
The dvd player breaks when the dvd is inserted, and a repairman can't makie it until tomorrow! :wallbash:

I wish I was hulk hogan

[Lulu_Jane]

Granted. Now you are hulk hogan..... That's it.

I wish for a faster internet connection.

[TheChosen]

Granted. Youre now transferred to stone age. Your internet will be totally fast there, because you have the only internet.

I wish...I would want to wish something.

@chumloofah = I have seen that match...and it was horrible.

[Halindir]

Granted, you now want to wish something, but you just used your wish...and the wish also caused breast cancer :3

I wish.-..... I wish i had a wheelchair.

[Tulac]

Granted, and now you're jealous of all the people righting segways.

I wish for more public urinals in the city.

[Lulu_Jane]

Granted, your house is now a public urinal.

I wish for no floods.

[chumloofah]

Granted.
Water is now bound by the laws of physics to remain below one inch high.
The whole world is covered in a thin film of dihydrogen oxide, and the sandal company you just invested all your money in, assuming the beneficial effects of global warming, goes tits up.
You lose everything.

I wish the world was full of clean hookers that were free.

A le Chosen...
http://i86.photobucket.com/albums/k120/morganstev/Wrestlemania6.jpg

It was pretty bad :D

[dosraider]

Granted.
You're one of them now.
You wear a badge with:
"Free ride on a clean kincky stuff hooker here".

I wish a woman for this weekend.
Around her 50'ies, C+, soft, tender, warm, willing, oh yeah baby.

[Mighty Midget]

Granted, she has shoe size 51, she's a mean programmer, has tender bare gums, a fever and she's willing to spread the germs.

I wish I didn't have to pay the bills

[Pietafon]

Granted. From now on You don't have electricity, water, gas and internet connection so You don't have to pay any bills.

I wish that there will be no autumn.

[chumloofah]

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(J@nek @ Sep 27 2007, 04:36 PM) 313480</div>
Granted. From now on You don't have electricity, water, gas and internet connection so You don't have to pay any bills.
[/b]
Ahaha!
What country do you live in?
I always figured you had to pay the government what's due them for your continued existence.

[Pietafon]

Let us not talk about my government... It's waste of time ;)


EDIT: I wish a new, better government ;)

[chumloofah]

Granted.
A new, better government is elected after a long, powerful campaign explaining how new and better they are.
One millisecond after they gain control you realise they are arseholes too :ok:

Politicians, eh?

I wish that everybody who, at this exact moment in reality, is a politician would get a massive haemerrhoid and a ton of boils.

[Lulu_Jane]

Granted, Aung San Suu Kyi now has a massive haemerrhoid and a ton of boils. The entire world now thinks you are a bastard.

I wish I had already finished moving my stuff out of this damned apartment.

[TheChosen]

Granted. Now your apartment is empty and all your stuff are on their way to junkyard.


I wish I had Counter-strike installed on this computer.

[Icewolf]

Granted. You're gambling CS a bit and find out that you're actually not in the mood to.


I wish the world wouldn't be so damn screwed up.

[Morrin]

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Icewolf @ Sep 28 2007, 07:09 AM) 313583</div>
Granted. You're gambling CS a bit and find out that you're actually not in the mood to.


I wish the world wouldn't be so damn screwed up.
[/b]

Granted, now the world is nailed up

I wish the work would be over so I could go to home and check if my old NES works anymore

[Mighty Midget]

Granted, you're fired and you will spend every minute of your remaining life indoors trying to get the brokes NES working, without success.

I wish I was a super hero

[ReamusLQ]

Granted, you now have the power to decrease the half-life of astatine at will.

I wish to be able to play guitar like Django Reinhardt.

[Mighty Midget]

Granted, you now lose 2 fingers on your hand, but your playing is awful

I wish I had every Django Reinhardt recording ever made.

[Icewolf]

Granted. They block you door and windows and you starve.


I wish for a world with less cruelty.

[Tulac]

Granted, the world is now full of over emotional flamboyant people.

I wish for more unisex bathrooms.

[dosraider]

Granted.
And you are unisex now.
:bleh:

I wish there were more Unreal Coop maps.

[Tulac]

Granted, there are more coop maps now, but no one to play them with.

I wish that all your stockz are belong to us.

[Icewolf]

Granted. All right, all your stocks belong to us, so you are broke and have to live on the street now. And a dog steals your shoes and the wind blows away you paper that should do as you blanket at night.


I wish for more flawless printing solutions in medium business field.

[Lulu_Jane]

Granted, unfortunately this makes you incredibly dull so you now spend a lot of time alone.

I wish for more disk space.

[Icewolf]

Granted. You get a new SATA drive. You heard about the "emulated IDE issue" and fiddle around in your BIOS. Great, your PC burns away. All your Data is lost! MU-HARHARHAR! >:)


I wish for less scam in IT-equipment. (stayin in this theme...)

[TheChosen]

Granted. No equipment, no scams.


I wish I had some ice for my coke.

[Pietafon]

Granted. You now live on the North Pole.

I wish for vacation

[dosraider]

Granted.
You may have a four years vacation.
On the north pole.
We don't want TheChosen to feel lonely, do we ?


I wish I had a Pinguicula gigantea.

[TheChosen]

Granted. Since I tought that has something to do with penguins, youre now living with me and J@nek in north pole! Oh joy!


I wish I had a sword. My kingdom for a sword!

[dosraider]

Pinguicula gigantea is a tropical species of carnivorous plant.....[/b]
.........North pole? Tropical ?
........ Penguins on the north pole?
:blink:
ZOMG the planet is warming faster then I thought ! ZOMG !!

Your wish is granted, you get a sword, 20 cm deep between your shoulderblades.
You gonna love it, really.


I wish it wasn't time yet again to clean up the inside of my PC, the fans are making noise again ... dust dust dust and my eternal smoking.
<_<

[GTX2GvO]

Granted, you are going to remove those dreaded fans.
So your PC is just getting a bit hotter than usual.

I wish, I wish.

Since He's going to remove them anyway. :whistling:

[dosraider]

You get my fans.
But the coils are fried.

I wish I had 'real silent' fans in my PC. :kosta:

[Mighty Midget]

Granted, but your hdd sounds like 50 chainsaws

I wish nothing will go wrong in any way

[Tulac]

Granted, nothing hasn't gone wrong, everything has.

I wish for Lemuria to be real.

[dosraider]

It's real, they found it on the north pole.
You will live there now.
Don't fear, you ain't alone there, it even becomes crowded with Abandonia members I would say.

I wish the world had 2 south poles.

[Halindir]

I aint granting you no wishies... theres the Megnetic and the Geographical southpoles :B

i wish that the above is correct, and if it is correct before my wish is granted, i wish for a weelchair that is able to climb stairs.

[dosraider]

Granted, you get a wheelchair with snowtires and ice spikes.

You need them@the north pole where you join the rest of us.
We organise a stair climbing contest especially for you.


I wish Halindir would fall from the stairs.

[Fruit Pie Jones]

Granted. Halindir comes over to your place, falls down the stairs, and sues you for improper stair maintenance. He wins and gets your new silent PC fans.

I wish my coworker would hurry up and get off the phone so we could play foosball.

[TheChosen]

He does and because he did it so fast, he gets promoted and youre fired. Have fun with your foosball game.

I wish for a huge collection of internet radios.

[dosraider]

Granted. Was about time you'd get what you wanted ....

But there is no internet conn on the north pole. Can't have it all ....


I wish it was nice sunny weather this weekend.

For humans. On Earth. Where I live. Not sunny weather without rain forever.

[Pietafon]

Granted. Ideal weather for building Your igloo...on the north pole :D

I wish for a huge "house" party with all AB members

[Mighty Midget]

Granted, and you're banned

I wish I had a brain sometimes

[TheChosen]

Granted. Also, with brain, you'l get a brain tumor.

I wish I had the best RPG's in the world.

[Pietafon]

Granted. It's Your life - the best and most realistic RPG ever.


I wish for breakfast in bed.

[dosraider]

Granted. The cockroaches joins you on your breakfast.

I wish I wasn't on the north pole.

[Lulu_Jane]

Granted, global warming accelerates, so the snow and ice melts. Unfortunately, you drown.

I wish for someone else to clean my apartment tomorrow.

[_r.u.s.s.]

this dude (http://dr.warcry.com/images/guilds/thief-new.jpg)

i wish i knew how to use a bow

[Tulac]

Granted you use the bow for all the wrong purposes. You use it to mash potatoes.

I wish for there to be less "forbidden 403" links like in the post above me.

[dosraider]

Granted.
You're a real marksman with bow&arrow.
You could easily win the olympics.
YOU'RE COULD BE TEH BEST EVAH.
'Could', sadly enough you were biten in hands, arms and legs by a mad rooster.
You get gangrene ..... you are dismembered.
Tsssssssssssss, what a shame.
Damn you Tulac :angry:

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Tulac @ Sep 29 2007, 12:48 PM) 313820</div>
Granted you use the bow for all the wrong purposes. You use it to mash potatoes.

I wish for there to be less "forbidden 403" links like in the post above me.
[/b]


There are no '403' leftover, no link at all even.
Internet is comletely down now.
BÃ*Ã*Ã*Ã*Ã*Ã*d Tulac.

I wish I had a Duvel right now.

[TheChosen]

Here you go. However, its so hot that you burn your mouth.

I wish I had a leisure suit.

[chumloofah]

Granted.
Unfortunately you are seen.

I wish I wish I had a dish of fish

[Mighty Midget]

Granted, you wished for it but got a platter of dung instead

I wish there were less viruses around

[ReamusLQ]

Granted. There is only one strain of virus left in the entire world, except it is the most lethal virus ever known to man. It is airborne and instantly passes from victim to victim, causing their brains to swell up until their heads literally explode. The entire human population on the entire globe is completely annihilated simply because YOU didn't want so many annoying cold viruses around. A pox upon you and your posterity...if they weren't already dead that is.

I wish to be the best musician in the entire world.

[Mighty Midget]

Granted, after the virus pegged out everyone but you, you are now THE best musician in the world, as well as the only audience. Happy gigging.

I wish I could get back my sleep pattern

[Tulac]

Granted, you now have a sleeping pattern of a 1 year old baby. That's how it used to be after all.

I wish for a doo doo.

[_r.u.s.s.]

your doo doo is here http://eroundlake.com/blog/uploaded_images...dent-768505.jpg (http://eroundlake.com/blog/uploaded_images/strange-car-accident-768505.jpg)

i wish for optic fibres

[Tulac]

Granted, but you only use it for sex purposes. :blink:

I wish for more orange juice in my glass.

[chumloofah]

Granted.
I've put the glass in your lung, though.

I wish for an emoticon that properly represents the depth of human emotion

[Halindir]

http://img470.imageshack.us/img470/3577/mubuc9.jpg ...granted

i wish for manboobs

[ReamusLQ]

Granted. All humans lose the ability show any emotion except for the following: :yawn:

I wish for a corn dog so big that even God couldn't eat it.

[TheChosen]

@Halindir: Granted. Now you got boobs and breastcancer.
@ReamusLQ: Granted. However, you are crushed under the corn dog.

I wish I dont have to wake up at 4:50 tomorrow

[Icewolf]

Granted. You have to wake up at 4:00 cause they changed the public transport schedule!


I wish I wouldn't have wrecked my car! :(

[GTX2GvO]

Granted, someone just stole your car, wrecked it and placed it back in it's original place.


I wish I didn't needed to sneak in PC hardware for my Desktop.
(My mom WILL kill me IF she finds out)

[TheChosen]

Granted. You no longer have a computer.

I wish for inspiration.

[GTX2GvO]

Granted, you get inspired to kill yourself.

I wish my wifi card is going to work immediately with my Ubuntu boot.

[songnar]

Granted, but it won't work correctly.

I wish that any time I was given a price to pay, I could pull exact change in that amount from my pocket.

[TheChosen]

Sure, but guess what? All that money is in cents!


I wish for more nudity in games.

[dosraider]

Granted, it's all full nude for the male games characters from now on. :blink:

I wish I could easily setup my USB broadband modem in CentOS 4.5.

[TheChosen]

Granted. Now you think that just putting modem in the computer will install it. However, it explodes the whole computer instead.

I wish someone would tought me how to wrestle.

[GTX2GvO]

Granted, you'll get a private lesson from Hulk Hogan.

Unfortunately he crushes you to a pulp.

I wish I had a CD/DVD reader/burner, instead of a CD reader/burner.

[dosraider]

Granted, you have a super_de_luxe_extremely_fast_DVD_burner.

Causes a meltdown, you get a China syndrome and you and your house sink to the Earth's core.
Bye bye.

You're better off than most of us, it's cold here on the north pole.

I wish you punks would be satisfied with all you have, you're always nagging the whole day through, PUNKS.

[TheChosen]

Granted. Now we are satisfied while youre crying in north pole full of penguins!

I wish I had all the seasons of "Quantum Leap"

[Lulu_Jane]

Granted, except that the DVD's are the wrong region for your neck of the woods.

I wish that that I didn't feel quite so ill.