Mighty Strange Movies

[Mighty Midget]

Here I'll present/recommend (?) movies I have seen with my short comments on them. If you have seen any of these, feel free to give us your view of that movie (in fact, that actually is part of the idea here, the other part being trying to write this sort of texts).
Also, if you have seen a movie you want to tell us about, why not post your review for others to read.

FOUR rules:
NO XXX movies
NO spoilers ;)
We are all entitled to our views, so NO "you must be a stupid git to like that one", please
If you include a pic, make sure it's clean, that is: No adult stuff or unnecessary gore. You know, the usual rules Keep it family friendly. Thanks :)

Ok, here goes my first movies

Bad Taste
http://img.gkblogger.com/blog/imgdb/000/000/030/474_2.JPG
(Splatter/Horror/Comedy/Cult, Peter Jackson, NZ, 1987, colour WARNING: Shows extreme graphic violence, and LOTS of it.)
Aliens have landed... in a quiet, backwater town named Kaihoro (if you're into the language of the Maori, see if you can spot the pun here). I said the town was quiet, right? Quiet, as in totally dead, actually and litteraly. The aliens' fiendish mission: To turn human flesh into the new intergalactic fast food taste sensation. Only "The Boys" from AIDS (Astro-Investigation and Defense Service) can stand a chance against them! Things are further complicated when a money collector comes to town and by the fact that our Boys are clearly out of their minds. The plot is, as you can see, not the major component here, but boy is this flick a rollercoaster of glorious, sick humour.

Personal opinion: One of the best party movies ever made, demented, sick, twisted and shedloads of insane, hilarious fun. Higly recommended if you can enjoy over-the-top gore for the sake of comedy!


Barbarella
http://www.fantascienza.com/magazine/imgbank/ARTICOLI/barbarella.nb.jpg
(Sci-Fi/Cult, Roger Vadim, USA, 1968, colour)
Barbarella (Jane Fonda) travels through space and into our hearts in this flick, a highlight in the history of kitsh and camp. Soon she finds herself on a rescue mission, and she will have to apply all her female charm (quite innocent) to succeed. She will also find herself in a lot of situations where she has to dress gorgeously suggestive and silly.

Personal opinion: A great movie, if not for the plot and all that, then at least for the lava lamps and all the cheapo special effects of the late 60's, and let's face it, we just love Barbarella, don't we? :D


Battleship Potemkin
http://www.medienkunstnetz.de/assets/img/data/2430/bild.jpg
(Historical drama, Sergei M. Eisenstein, USSR, 1925, b/w)
Based on the historical events the movie tells the story of a riot at the battleship Potemkin. What started as a protest strike when the crew was given rotten meat for dinner ended in a riot. The sailors raised the red flag and tried to ignite the revolution in their home port Odessa. (excerpts from IMDB)
One of the most important films ever made. Eisenstein abandoned the idea of "one shot movies" made in the earlier decades, and used "modern" editing to enhance the storytelling. It also contains one of the most iconic scenes in movie history: The pram down the stairs (you have seen that before, but this is THE scene)

Personal opinion: Actually it has been years sinse I saw it, and I was tipsy at the time, but I do recommend it for the quantum leap Eisenstein made in editorial techniques.


Braindead aka Dead Alive
http://www.bitsofnews.com/images/graphics/braindead_movie_peter_jackson.jpeg
(Splatter/Comedy, Peter Jackson, NZ, 1992, colour. WARNING: Contains a huge amount blood and gore)
When Lionel's very dominating mom is bitten by the Sumatran Monkey Rat, she turns into a rather irrate zombie and soon her "illness" is transfered to a huge crowd. What will mommy's boy do now? Yep, that's pretty much it. Add a love story, absolutely mindshattering humour and tons and tons of blood and gore, and you're bang on. In this movie, P.J. takes the splatter concept from Bad Taste and pushes it deeper into the land of comedy, leaving the horror bit behind.

Personal opinion: Another must-see party movie, again IF you can stand the gore. Top shelf and all the medals to this one!


It Conquered The World
http://www.centerforsocialmedia.org/files/videos/fair_use_case_studies/aip_conquered/aip_conquered.jpg
(Sci-fi/Cult, Roger Corman, USA, 1956, b/w)
Another cult movie from the 50's. Again the aliens are bent on dominating Earth. This movie follows in the tradtitions of many sci-fi monster movies of the 50's: Our fear of what horrors technology might bring down on us, and what will happen when we lose our emotions to rationalism. This movie also touch on the theme "fear of space exploration and what will happen if we make contact with extraterrestrial life. Will they be friendly, or...?" (Hey, this is the 50's, remember? We haven't even been to the moon yet). A satelite is launched, despite the intense warning of a scientist loner. He says that aliens are watching us, and that they do not want us out in space. Things go wrong, and pretty soon the alien (yep, only one) is here to subdue all humanity. Luckily, we have our hero to save the day! He must now battle, not only the alien, but also the ones under it's influence. It is a great battle with great losses, or sort of, if the characters allowed us to feel with them. But that would be a serious breach of traditions, so never mind. The pace and story is good (for its genre), the acting is semi-decent, just don't expect much depth here. In fact, if you have seen a few 50's monster movies, you know what the premisses are: Cartoonish, simple, two-dimensional story and characters, and this movie delivers that and ends up among the better ones.

My opinion: This movie is a rather well made one, except for the alien: It looks ridiculous (a fact that makes the movie even better IMHO), just like a cute, silly alien monster of the 50's should look like. It looks like a cactus with a stupid grin, huge fangs and latex crab claws. In fact, I think this is one of the most well known obscure monsters of that era. Add a pretty coherent storytelling, not very bad acting, and you have yourself a nice sci-fi movie of the 50's. Enjoy!

M
http://www.revistacontratiempo.com.ar/m_lang.jpg
(Noir/Crime, Fritz Lang, GER, 1931, b/w)
A child killer haunts Berlin and the coppers are turning every stone to capture him. The underwold guilds are far from happy with all the attention from the police the killer gives them, so they decide to find him themselves.

Personal opinion: My all time favourite movie. An extremly well told story, chilling and with a great deal of suspension. And the ending is truely a climax. See this movie ASAP!


Night Of The Living Dead
http://static.howstuffworks.com/gif/zombie-10.jpg
(Horror, George A. Romero, USA, 1968, b/w)
Not much needs to be said about this famous "undead" movie. Two siblings visit a graveyard but are soon attacked by a man who just doesn't look right. They seek shelter in a house, but find they are not alone. Note that the "things" here are never actually called "zombies", but rather "ghouls". An interesting (?) bit of trivia. The connection to voodoo and zombies is never made. They are just "something".

Personal opinion: One of the greatest horror movies ever made. The feeling of gloom and doom is so strong you would probably want to seek out some sunshine after this one. Also, it has one of the best endings I have ever watched: It perfectly nails the feeling of doom established throughout the movie.


Plan 9 From Outer Space
http://www.badmovies.org/movies/plannine/plannine1.jpg
(Sci-fi/Horror/Cult, Edward D. Wood Jr., USA, 1959, b/w)
An infamous blunder of a movie, and a runner up to the title for the worst movie ever. Invaders from space have come to Earth to destroy the humans (once again). There are reasons to believe their previous 8 attempts failed, and that they are now running low of bright ideas. Enter plan 9: "To paralyze the living and to resurrect the dead". The idea is never thorougly explained, but I guess superintelligent plans are not meant to be understood by mere humans. Anyway, here we can see it all: Day change into night and back again rather sudden and inexplainable, dead actors who's stock footage is being used mixed with footage of the same character played by a guy 2 heads taller than the deady, props being used again and again in different sceneries, and monologues and dialogues so defiiant of any rhyme or reason they leave you with the questions: Am I going insane? I think I understood that bit, should I worry?. The pace is good enough, and there are not many dull moments here, as long as you know how to appreciate bloopers and unintentional comedy.

Personal opinion: Although not as terrible as Robot Monster, it is light years away from anything commonly viewed upon as "well concieved and executed". In this lays it's glory and it is this cinematic mayhem that makes this flick the precious gem it is to many, myself included.


Robot Monster
http://www.bayflicks.net/robotmonster.jpg
(Sci-fi/Cult, Phil Tucker, USA, 1953, b/w)
This is the infamous Robot Monster, multiple winner of the Golden Turkey Award as the worst movie in history. And let's be brutally frank here: This movie fails on every level except for the hilariousness of its failure. Ro-Man, a monster (a divinghelmet, a TV aerial and a gorilla suit) from another planet is in charge of wiping out us Hu-Mans. He has done fairly well, and there are now only about 8 left on the entire planet.
Problem is, his soap-bubble-blowing machine is not as effective as he hopes against these resourceful 8-or-thereabouts. The worst monster ever concieved, atrocious acting, random clips of giant lizards and a pace matching that of a dead clam ensures this to be considered one of the absolute worst movies in the history of Hu-Mans for a looong time to come.

Personal opinion: This one is a bit odd (to say the least). The lack of pace is killing me, but the monster, the braindead and soulless acting and the soap-bubble-blowing machine are so out of this world it actually becomes enjoyable to watch.


Snow Creature, The
http://www.animalattack.info/bibliotheque/thesnowcreature02.jpg
(Drama/Suspense, W. Lee Wilder, USA, 1954, b/w)
An American botanist comes across the fabled Yeti in the Himalayas, and brings it home to the good ol' US. Soon it escapes and goes on a rampage in the big city.

Personal opinion: I have a hard time labeling this movie. My first choise of genre would be "walking". Afterall, that's pretty much all that happens in this movie. Beside, the yeti is just terrible. Not frightening or silly, just terrible. If Robot Monster's pace is none, then the Snow Creature's pace is backwards in time. Only watch if you must see every 50's monster put on film.


Terror Of Tiny Town
http://www.badmovies.org/movies/tinytown/tinytown7.jpg
(Western, Sam Newfield, USA, 1938, b/w)
An all midget western! How about that! Ok, so it's not very politically correct, but why not an all midget western? Two herd owning families are at non-speaking terms because ot the Villain. The Hero is the son in one family, the heroine the niece in the other family. Sounds familiar? There is a lot of comedy here, intentional or not, and if you like "The Singing Cowboy" movies, there should be sometjhing for you here. Also: It is fairly simple to spot the heroes and villains here: The Hero has the hair neatly combed and is constantly smiling, wears an all white amusement park cowboy outfit and rides a white pony, while the Villain looks like one, vile, face twisted with tiny evilness, he's all dressed in black and rides a black pony. No math here, really.

Personal opinion: A rather good movie I must say, despite the premisses. Problem is, I can't tell whether this movie is just wrong, a good western, a good, silly comedy, awfully cute or all at once. Probably all at once.


Trollenberg Terror aka The Crawling Eye
http://www.scifilm.org/images2/crawlingeye.jpg
(Sci-fi/Horror, Quentin Lawrence, UK 1958, b/w)
3 mountain climbers climbing the Trollenberg mountain, somewhere in Germany, are suddenly reduced to 2 mountain climbers, as the 3rd one encounters "something" in a sudden appearing cloud. Turns out he wasn't the first one, and soon a mixed party of psychics, professors and newsreporters set out to investigate.

Personal opinion: This one is actually pretty good for its genre. A nice, ghostly, spooky feel and an "above average" storytelling and a nice dose of crap stop-motion and fun monsters make this one of my personal favourites.

[_r.u.s.s.]

i think this would be kiknda good "community review" of old movies

[Japo]

Yes this should be over there at the Community Reviews forum :ok:

[Mighty Midget]

Sounds good to me :) I'll move it over there then, shall I?

*DONE*

[Eva02Soul]

Ah, dead alive.


"I Kick behind for the lord!"

[chumloofah]

Good grief... Barbarella?
That's got to be worth two X's anyway, right?
The bad guy does try to kill her with a XXX machine, but she's too sexy for it.

[Mighty Midget]

LOL true, he does, but the movie is harmless enough, no skin or anything. It is true though, that the movie does play on Fonda as being feminine :D

EDIT: Included Plan 9 From Outer Space.

2nd EDIT: It Conquered The World

[Blood-Pigggy]

These movies are all terrible, even the good ones.

[_r.u.s.s.]

lоl, ignorant. i wouldnt expect it from somebody who is on abandonware scene

[Sebatianos]

But if you put up Plan 9 From Outer Space (http://www.abandonia.com/games/en/462/Plan9fromOuterSpace.htm) I think you should really comment on Ed Wood (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0109707/) (hopefully you've seen it, if not :whistling: ).

[Blood-Pigggy]

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(_r.u.s.s. @ Aug 15 2007, 06:05 PM) 304779</div>
lоl, ignorant. i wouldnt expect it from somebody who is on abandonware scene
[/b]

I'm surprised that retarded statement went over your head, maybe you should read it again.

[Mighty Midget]

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Sebatianos @ Aug 16 2007, 12:09 AM) 304780</div>
But if you put up Plan 9 From Outer Space (http://www.abandonia.com/games/en/462/Plan9fromOuterSpace.htm) I think you should really comment on Ed Wood (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0109707/) (hopefully you've seen it, if not :whistling: ).
[/b]

If you wonder if I've seen Plan 9, then yes :D I didn't mention Ed Wood, coz I think this movie deserves to be viewed without any biased opinions (yes, Wood was a genious in creating the hopeless). I simply love this movie for the fact it never stand a chance at being taken even remotely serious, Ed Wood or not :) While Wood really believed he was onto something and failed miserably, I don't like the idea of focusing on him as a person. Let his movies speak for themselves :ok:

[_r.u.s.s.]

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Blood-Pigggy @ Aug 16 2007, 12:23 AM) 304781</div>
I'm surprised that retarded statement went over your head, maybe you should read it again.
[/b]
no, i think you should think about my statement

[Blood-Pigggy]

I really shouldn't because what I said in the first place doesn't make any sense.

[Icewolf]

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Blood-Pigggy @ Aug 16 2007, 01:22 AM) 304785</div>I really shouldn't because what I said in the first place doesn't make any sense.[/b]So...? :blink:
You were just kiddin' or what? :huh:

[Mighty Midget]

I believe BP was only being BP ^_^ . Now, back on topic everyone?

[Lulu_Jane]

I really, really, enjoyed Ed Wood. Everything about it was a total love letter to B movies :D

Over the top acting, the angles of shots, the shadows, atmosphere - everything!

Even that terrifying Skeletor-woman Sarah Jessica Parker couldn't ruin it.

[Mighty Midget]

New one:

Shark Attack 3 Megalodon
http://www.clubdesmonstres.com/sharkatt3jo03.jpg

(Horror, David Worth, Israel/SA /USA, 2002, colour)
A giant, prehistoric shark makes it's sudden presence and wrecks havoc... Well, this is definitely not Jaws. This sharks (actually, there are two of them, both made pretty much entirely of stock footage of various species of sharks) is about 15 feet long when the mentioned stock footage allows it (15 feet? It's getting much bigger soon. Some 60 odd feet, actually).
Anyway: A company is building a multi-billion underwater powerline network. Of course, these cables attract these two sharks from the mist of time to our present day (no explaination given here). Soon we have the same old conflict: Telling people about this shark will cost a packet, better shut up VS tons of shark chew (literally, tons!). You have seen this before, and in waaayyy better movies, so onto my

Personal opinion: STAY AWAY!... not from the water, but from this movie. Good god, where to begin? A shark... a hero and a heroine... countless victims... ze big bozz who's interests dictates there are no sharks there... random scenes packed with nonsense... bloopers kept for the sake of run-time, a shark so huge it eats whole boats without chewing... some of the most abysmal, abominable and atrocious acting ever put on film... and yes, it's true: This movie has the singlemost disturbingly, mindtwistingly trash pick-up line in history... and no, I will not try to explain any possibility of a greater plot here or give explainations to the unexplainable. The only moments that give this flick a shred of entertainment value, are the bloopers and the insanly lousy special effects, as well as that pick-up line.

EDIT: From IMBD: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0313597/goofs Enjoy the read, and let it go with that. Don't bother watching this film.

[chumloofah]

I thought I was the only one who'd sat all the way through Megalodon...
One of those rare films that actually passes right through so bad it's good into a movie that manages to bore and enrage simultaneously.

[Mighty Midget]

Exactly! I mean, I don't mind trash movies, not at all, but as you said: This movie does manage to bore and enrage simultaneously... I didn't know exactly what to expect and was hoping for that "so terrible it's great" but it pissed me off instead. 90 minutes completly wasted.

[chumloofah]

Two movies on last night that qualify for this thread, I reckon.
My Primary was "Dungeons and Dragons 2: The Elemental Might", and during the adverts there was "Maniac Nurses Find Ecstacy".

D&D2 is about an evil sorceror who got cursed to undeath by his dead master for failing at something they don't bother to explain. He gets fixed right at the start of the film, so you might think this means it doesn't matter but it actually does. Evil sorceror finds a gem containing the soul of a dragon god and that makes him really powerful, and even worse it's going to wake up the dragon god. Oh no!

The hero gets the king of whatever kingdom needs saving to get him a party. An attractive lady barbarian, an attractive elf lady wizard, a cleric who isn't around for long and a short, dirty rogue.

The dialogue is bad... It randomly goes off to explain fundamentals of D&D like when hero asks his girlfriend what she's doing she goes off on one about how there are 2 kinds of magic and then goes on to describe them. His girlfriend is a mage, and she's an attractive lady.

Party goes off, and on the way get attacked by a dragon. Dragon kills the cleric, then the rest kill the dragon. They then go on to bitch about evil sorceror's treachery, obviously unaware that an evil sorceror they've never heard of, let alone met, isn't in a position to betray them.

Then the leader, now aware that rushing off to fight a powerful evil sorceror intent on destroying the world might result in some of them getting hurt, asks if they're sure they want to continue. They all agree they do, so they can repay evil sorceror's treachery.

It goes on, we get some crap about ancient mages of tulac imprisoning the dragon god a thousand years ago, but it took a toll and they died out.

Girlfriend gets undead cursed, but she figures out the ancient mages used faith to beat the dragon, so she manages to destroy the dragon god by holding up a small orb.

This is well done, because the ancient mages used faith too and they could only imprison it and even that killed them.

In summary, the acting and dialogue and directing were all muck.

Maniac Nurses Find Ecstacy was about a bunch of nurses who go crazy and walk around killing people with automatic weapons in their lingerie. :ok:

[Mighty Midget]

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(chumloofah @ Aug 26 2007, 01:06 PM) 306784</div>
Two movies on last night that qualify for this thread, I reckon.
My Primary was "Dungeons and Dragons 2: The Elemental Might", and during the adverts there was "Maniac Nurses Find Ecstacy".

D&D2 is about an evil sorceror who got cursed to undeath by his dead master for failing at something they don't bother to explain. He gets fixed right at the start of the film, so you might think this means it doesn't matter but it actually does. Evil sorceror finds a gem containing the soul of a dragon god and that makes him really powerful, and even worse it's going to wake up the dragon god. Oh no!

The hero gets the king of whatever kingdom needs saving to get him a party. An attractive lady barbarian, an attractive elf lady wizard, a cleric who isn't around for long and a short, dirty rogue.

The dialogue is bad... It randomly goes off to explain fundamentals of D&D like when hero asks his girlfriend what she's doing she goes off on one about how there are 2 kinds of magic and then goes on to describe them. His girlfriend is a mage, and she's an attractive lady.

Party goes off, and on the way get attacked by a dragon. Dragon kills the cleric, then the rest kill the dragon. They then go on to bitch about evil sorceror's treachery, obviously unaware that an evil sorceror they've never heard of, let alone met, isn't in a position to betray them.

Then the leader, now aware that rushing off to fight a powerful evil sorceror intent on destroying the world might result in some of them getting hurt, asks if they're sure they want to continue. They all agree they do, so they can repay evil sorceror's treachery.

It goes on, we get some crap about ancient mages of tulac imprisoning the dragon god a thousand years ago, but it took a toll and they died out.

Girlfriend gets undead cursed, but she figures out the ancient mages used faith to beat the dragon, so she manages to destroy the dragon god by holding up a small orb.

This is well done, because the ancient mages used faith too and they could only imprison it and even that killed them.

In summary, the acting and dialogue and directing were all muck.

Maniac Nurses Find Ecstacy was about a bunch of nurses who go crazy and walk around killing people with automatic weapons in their lingerie. :ok:
[/b]

Great to see this, chumloofah :ok: I was beginning to worry I would be the only one here. Keep them coming :)

That D&D movie sounds quite fun, actually. Just insane enough to work as entertainment :D

...and that last one :D oh man I'd like to see that! That sounds just plain bonkers LOL It reminds me of this movie I watched some years ago, about these strip dancer girls who got enlisted as commando soldiers in a mid-east rescue raid. It was so wacky I couldn't see through the tears of laughter.

[Tulac]

ancient mages of tulac[/b]

:unsure:

[chainsoar]

quiet, backwater town named Kaihoro (if you're into the language of the Maori, see if you can spot the pun here).[/b]

Made up by P.J. and the crew in the early stages of shooting the film. "kai" - food and "horo" - town or village. Foodtown. Also the name of a NZ chain of grocery stores. See, I know stuff.

[Lulu_Jane]

I've actually sat through that D&D 2 "film." Sitting through the whole thing was like having a slow-motion aneurysm.

The main thing I remember thinking was, "why did they even have the cleric character?" he lasted what? 10 minutes, for no reason at all, didn't drive the plot forward, didn't provide any exposition, just hung off the edge of the story like a wart.

I did enjoy the horrifically fake looking elf ears though :D

[Japo]

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(chumloofah @ Aug 26 2007, 01:06 PM) 306784</div>Maniac Nurses Find Ecstacy was about a bunch of nurses who go crazy and walk around killing people with automatic weapons in their lingerie. :ok:[/b]
Now that's a good review of a classic movie. Gotta love the :ok: at the end.

I once watched an amateur parodic D&D movie made by D&D players. Now that was hilarious, but I'm not sure I remember the name right now (The Roleplayers?).

[Eva02Soul]

I think it was either the roleplayers or the gamers, something like that

[Japo]

Yes I think it was The Gamers, thanks: :D

http://gamers.deadgentlemen.com/

[Tulac]

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Tulac @ Aug 26 2007, 02:43 PM) 306807</div>
ancient mages of tulac[/b]

:unsure:
[/b]
What is this? I want to know! NOW!

[Japo]

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Tulac @ Aug 27 2007, 12:36 PM) 307023</div>What is this? I want to know! NOW![/b]
YOU tell US mister!

[chumloofah]

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Tulac @ Aug 27 2007, 11:36 AM) 307023</div>
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Tulac @ Aug 26 2007, 02:43 PM) 306807
ancient mages of tulac[/b]

:unsure:
[/b]
What is this? I want to know! NOW!
[/b][/quote]
Never wanted to be immortalised in Dungeons and Dragons form?

[Tulac]

Not without them paying me royalties!

[chumloofah]

Ok.
Roll higher than 15 on a charisma check and you can convince them.

[chumloofah]

Activating recommendation procedure for the old hammer horrors.
They good, dawg.
None of that hectic, got to give you a fright 2 seconds into the movie to stop you fidgeting crap.
They have a story, and the horror is slowly revealed until something nasty happens to the people you've started to like (that used to happen in horror movies, believe it or not).
I think they might still be showing a series of them on BBC 2, so what are you waiting for!? :brain:

[Mighty Midget]

You have an appreciation for Hammer Films too? :kosta: I remember some years ago, when Swedish television aired shiploads of H.F. during a summer. I was glued to the telly every night :D

[chumloofah]

The Wraith was on last night.
An 80s movie about charlie sheen coming back from the dead to avenge his murder by challenging a psychotic drag racer and his goons to races in his ghost car.
This movie makes no sense.
The story revolves around charlie sheen, randy quaid the cop and a pretty lady with big 80s hair.
I'll take a second to give a little respect goes to Randy Quaid for being the only actor in the movie to put a tiny bit of effort into being a 3 dimensional character.
This is quickly retracted as you continue to watch this montage of shitty drag races, set to 80s pop music, and occasional flashes of boob.
Now, this cop must be the biggest retard on the face of the planet, since there was never any investigation, or even suspicion, of the psychotic drag racer who murdered charlie sheen, even though he's claimed chuck's girlfriend and gets insanely jealous and violent on anyone that looks at her.
The whole town is infected with this stupidity, the only ones that know being drag racer's gang and charlie sheen.

While charlie is killing off the gang one by one in his ghost car, he's also visiting his old girlfriend and making her show her boobs.
He occasionally takes a deep moment to tell her there will come a time she has to stand up to the psycho, or she'll be a prisoner forever.
This is an important lesson to have shoved down your throat, and it's the only one in the movie, so pay attention or you'll have wasted your time.

The rest of the gang die in car crashes without so much as a by-your-leave, but we wait until the lady gets her courage before drag racer dies in a race.
This allows the plot to continue beyond the 20 minutes it warrants.

By the end Randy Quaid has figured everything out, proving that despite being retarded he has perseverance.
All ends well, the bad gang are dead, Charlie's little brother gets given the Dodge ghost car, and Charlie comes back to life and rides off into the sunset with the lady on a dirt bike.

Movie - 1/10
Breasts - 8/10

[Mighty Midget]

This Is England
http://www.canaltcm.com/myfiles/ap/this-is-england.jpg

(Drama, Shane Meadows, UK, 2006, colour)
Shaun, a 12 year old is growing up in Britain in the early-mid 80's. His dad, whom Shaun feels great love and pride for, has died in the Falkland War, he's being bullied by the other kids and he is alone. That is, until he comes across Woody, a skinhead who has a few guys behind hem. Woody decides to take good care of Shaun, who gladly appreciates this opportunity to belong. Everything looks fine until Combo, a mate of Woody, and one who Woody owes a lot, appears. Soon the group finds themselves torn between loyalty to their "brothers" and Combo's ideas of a "White Britain". This movie can also be seen as a small picture of how right wing groups tore the skinhead unity appart, as they did in the late 70's/early 80's. All this happens with Shaun in the middle, it's how he sees it.

This flick is not another Romper Stomper, as this one adresses more the spirit of skinheads growing up in the UK in the 80's, and not the neo-nazi image of it, as well as the issue of belonging somewhere.

Personal opinion: One of the best movies I've seen in a very long time. Shaun is played by a young lad, Thomas Turgoose, and he does a remarkable job. The movie is more about tests to friendship and loyalty than about ideologies, here represented mainly by Combo. A real gem of a movie and highly recommended.

[Blood-Pigggy]

To be perfectly fair Romper Stomper only used the neo-nazi aspect as a backdrop, the film was more or less based on the characters and their relationships, not the fact that they were skinheads.

[Mighty Midget]

That is true to a great extent, and perhaps I phrased myself badly. What I meant was that in TIE ideologies only play a part as a dividing force, on one hand you have the true skinheads while on the other you have the far right boneheads. In RS ideology was the frame that held them together, in TIE ideology is what splits them.

[gufu1992]

Anyone can review "Them!"?

[Mighty Midget]

If you've watched it, why don't you do it? :) As you can see from my pieces of text, there are no standards to live up to here. Just write about it any way you feel. Only, try to keep the "style" with a brief line of facts, like genre, country, director and year. A pic would of course brighten it up a bit. Good luck :ok:

[Blood-Pigggy]

Them isn't really that obscure though, although it is a good movie.

[gufu1992]

Them!
http://www.cognition.ens.fr/~alphapsy/blog/images/21701757_them_lg.jpg
Thy movie begins with two policmen patroling an emptiness what state of New Mexico is. On their way the find a silent little girl. From then on the plot begins to move quickly enough to enjoy the movie. Soon a proffesor arrives (he seems to learn about ant's the same way Fabr (Dunno If spelled right) did - just looked at them). and they find the giant ant nest. They put poisonus gas in it, and then check if anything lives. They find what 2 moar quieens run away - one settled on a ship, killing the crew, but her whole colony died whn the ship gone down. The second one came to city. The detail on giant ants in good enough - showing them just as furry as a stuffed animal. Giant ants grab people by torso and move em' around (and you die because of?). Ants die if their antenass are destroyed, and can also die from extreme heat (Kinda lame >_>). If you want to know the ending - you will have to understand this: "They came from Red Alert".

[Mighty Midget]

Nice one, gufu1992, and a great pick too :ok: A classic that one is for sure! (although I never saw it myself, I know it is a classic :)) I believe this was the movie that was used as inspiration for the game "It came from the desert".

[gregor]

ugh i had it on a video somewhere. i wonder if it's still there. if not i should torrent it. Have been thinking about it for a while. not a bad movie considering when it was made.

[Blood-Pigggy]

I loved movies like these, my favorite was 20 Million Miles to Earth, old monster movies are just so much more entertaining to watch than modern ones (the CGI has something to do with it I guess).

[Mighty Midget]

Hey, I've got that movie! Haven't seen it yet, but when I do, I'll post a review, if you don't decide to do it first :D

[gufu1992]

Them! is on google videos (full thing)

spell check complete!
Mission acomplished!

[Mighty Midget]

Teenagers From Outer Space
http://i189.photobucket.com/albums/z193/WhoCaresWho/Teenagers.jpg

(Sci-fi, Tom Graeff, USA, 1959, b/w)
Look at this guy. He is not mental, nor is he making a silly face to anyone to make them laugh: He is dead serious. He has just recieved orders to track down an escaped prisoner, who is also a member of his crew on his tiny spaceship.
A small scout crew from "outer space" has come to earth to check out the conditions here for space lobster breeding. Only hitch is that these space lobsters grow at a rather astonishing rate, and are known to pose a health risk to anyone stupid enough to get too close. Apparently, these critters are to be bred for food for the Master Race, the aliens. One of the crew members, Derek the alien (before you laugh at alien alien names, know that his fellow crewmembers are named Thor, Moreal and Saul) is having second thoughts on this whole idea and decides to try to put a stop to this nonsense. After a bit of waving with a ray-gun (yes, they only brough one) that looks like something between an electric torch and a spare engine part, he escapes and comes running into the life of the Girl in this story. Together they try to stop the alien's fiendish plan as well as dodge one that was sent after Derek to capture him, dead or alive. This flick will be noticed for the special effects (not good), outer space acting (not good at all) and dialogues so mindblowingly daft they make your ears want to disintegrate. The pace is ok though, and it isn't a boring film, just insanly poor.

Personal opinion: The trash actors and the special effects (NOT) are doing their best to make this flick enjoyable. When you are not cringing from these braindead and soulless teenagers (still talking about the actors, not the characters), you will find tons of cheap fun here. This movie deserves to be laughed at, and as an unintentional comedy, it works rather well. A funny stinker of a classic killer B movie from the 50's. Oh, and I couldn't help myself but thinking these crewmembers must have been really intimate friends on their long, lonely journey through space. The size of their ship strongly suggests that.

[Blood-Pigggy]

Look at his gay face.

[Lulu_Jane]

I must see this movie LOL

[Shoot-em-upper]

What's he supposed to be doing? Shaving?

Better not get his lip caught in his space razor.

[gufu1992]

"Now give me a kiss..."

[Blood-Pigggy]

Go to a dollar store and buy some more crappy movies.

[chumloofah]

In the old country here, we have a channel called "the horror channel".
It plays all the horror flicks that never quite made it to so bad it's good status.

[Blood-Pigggy]

Might as well watch the Sci-Fi channel if you're going to do that.
Has anyone seen the Masters of Horror series?

[Lulu_Jane]

But does the Sci Fi channel have Hammer and Troma films? :)

[Mighty Midget]

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Lulu_Jane @ Oct 6 2007, 08:05 AM) 314874</div>
But does the Sci Fi channel have Hammer and Troma films? :)
[/b]

:kosta: I had almost completly forgot about Troma. YAY! \o/ I took a stroll over to Wiki and looked at the list there of Troma films. Those titles, the films are begging for a watch! LOL

And Hammer Films too... Peter Cushing, Vincent Price, Christopher Lee... just fantastic!

[Mighty Midget]

Army Of Darkness
http://i189.photobucket.com/albums/z193/WhoCaresWho/AoD.jpg

(Comedy/Horror, Sam Raimi, USA, 1993, colour)

Bruce Campbell, my MAN! In this flick, Sam Raimy wraps up his Evil Dead 3 part series. As in the 2nd ED movie, this one continues, loosely, where the last one ended. Ash (B. Campbell) is transported back in time as well as to a different place altogether, namely what appears to be some 1300 AD England/Scotland, along with his trusty chainsaw, shotgun and Chevrolet... and the wretched bugger of a book, the Necronomicon, the Book Of The Dead. His timing is somewhat bad, coz there is a feud going on between two lords, and Ash is now a prisoner, mistaken for one of the men of the "wrong" lord.

Now, before I continue, let me just say that even if this movie is the 3rd in the ED trilogy, you don't really need to watch the first two, as the ties are not that many or important to get the story. The only essential part I will explain: The cause of all misery in all 3 movies is the named book, the Necronomicon, a book with words powerful enough to summon ancient horrors. Now, for those who have seen the first two EDs: The first one is a straight forward horror movie, the second has strong elements of comedy, and in this one, Sam Raimi and Bruce Campbell goes comedy all the way. It's wacky, insane, silly, hilarious, absurd and cartoonish. Still, I also label it horror, as it does have it's amount of blood and chopping.

Ok, onwards: Ash's only wish is to be sent back to his own time and space. In order to succeed, he needs to retrieve the book. Of course he blunders, and all hell literally breaks loose. He will need all his wits, cool-as-ice one-liners, shotgun shells and courage he can muster to succeed to fight the marching Army of Deadites.

The special effects here are simple but effective, the stop-motion works very well in the whole setting and adds to the general feeling of someone laughing their legs off while still being proud of the movie they are making. Overall, the special effects are good, but you won't find the same amount of blood, gore and bodyparts as you'll find in the other two EDs. Nothing shocking here, really, just good ol' clean fun for... well, almost the whole family. The pace is good, never EVER a dull moment, and the plot is, in it's simplicity, straight forward with no leaps and bounds. A well told story on the level of Loonytunes.

Personal opinion: Did I mention Ash's one-liners? Or that Bruce's the MAN? I don't care what other people say about this genre, or about Sam Raimi. Watch this movie, and if you disagree that Bruce's the MAN! then there's something seriously wrong with you!

[gufu1992]

Love the small bruces VS the large one part...

[Mighty Midget]

20 Million Miles To Earth
http://i189.photobucket.com/albums/z193/WhoCaresWho/vlcsnap-2153114.jpg

(Sci-fi, Nathan Juran, USA, 1957, b/w)
A space rocket ship crashes into the Mediterranian Sea, with some local fishermen witnessing the crash. Two men are rescued from the wreckage, a ship on it's way back from waaaaay out there. On board was also a container with an alien lizard-sort-of-thing-creature. This creature escapes both the container and the people wanting to capture it, dead or, preferably, alive.
This is actually a very decent flick, nice photography, pretty good acting and not the dimwit dialogues one usually expects from these sorts of movies. Also, the special effects are above average for it's time. Nice stop-motion lizards, not the worst double projection in history, and clever enough not to overdo it, but rather show the good bits and leave the excessive garbage out.
The pace is nice, it starts with a bang, literally, calms down then progressively picks up speed as the movie goes on, until the climax, where it, sadly, falls a bit apart due to the movie wanting the hero to be everywhere and do everything, just to really hammer it into our skulls he is the Hero. Ok, I get it, he's the hero, now give the others a chance to be anything but extras and props, will you?
One more thing that pulls this film down from being a real goodie, is the moster. It's not a bad monster, visually, far from it, it's just that it... well... bellows a lot, and I mean A LOT! After the first 30 minutes of non-stop alien bellowing it gets kinda silly, and after another 30 minutes you really, really want this noisy dino to just shut up, permanently. Too bad really, as the movie shows a bit of sympathy for the bugger, only wanting to be left alone, but is instead chased all over the place by our omnipresent hero and his merry bunch of trigger happy soldiers. I guess they got a headache and wanted it silenced too.

Personal opinion: Way above average, but doesn't make it to the top. The first half or so is pretty damn good, but as it gets busier, it sticks out like a sore thumb how they could use one or two more characters, instead of cramming 20 into one. Beside, that goddamn bellowing really got on my nerves near the end. But ok, even though it's nothing like an A-movie by today's standards, I won't call it an outright B-movie either, more of a B+-movie.

[Mighty Midget]

The Ladykillers
http://twi-ny.com/Ladykillers1.jpg

(Comedy, Alexander Mackendrick, UK, 1955, b/w)

A criminal mastermind (Alec Guinness) rents a room at an old, eccentric lady's house. His plan is to rob a money transport with the aid of his gang, all of them pretending to be hobby musicians practicing in the house. The old lady is completly unaware of all of this but still manages to make life very hard for these hardened criminals. They decide to put an end to her, but it soon is evident that will prove to be a very difficult task, due to the lady's innocent, eccentric behaviour and her luck.
This is a very good movie, with very good actors (also including Peter Sellers), with a good warm feeling to it. I will even call it a sweet movie. The story has quite a few surprising turns along the way, and isn't boring at all, if you appreciate the, yes, calm tone throughout the film. Not to say it hasn't got it moments of "suspense", it does, but the main plot revolves around the old lady who constantly botches it up for the robbers.

Personal opinion: A nice, sweet comedy with a good old crime story twist that makes it in my opinion a good comedy for the whole family. The violence is as non-explicit as it can get and is only there to spice up the crime element, while still having elements of the absurd in it. It's not a I-am-flat-out-guffawiing comedy, but there are plenty of those quiet, non-spectacular moments where you will let out a good, merry laugh. Recommended.

[Blood-Pigggy]

Army of Darkness is the worst in the series.
The original was campy horror and its sequel a even mixture, AoD just went way over the top and lost the charm.

[Mighty Midget]

AoD is indeed a different story altogether :D see how AoD is the only ED film without "Evil Dead" in it's title? I believe Raimi knew full well this wasn't a "real" ED film, but just something he wanted to do. Yes, it's over the top, but it's so coooool it just seems right anyway \o/

[STFM]

Depending on the country, the film was also known as "Evil Dead III: Army of Darkness" and "Captain Supermarket" in Japan
Also the plot (Ash going back to medievil england) was the original plot concept for Evil Dead 2.

Shop smart, shop S-Mart.

[zafo999]

Thought i'd copy a bunch of my short reviews from Flixster. A lot of them don't really review and are only one or two sentences summing up my experience. Some of them I spend time on and say something that's more thought out, some of them aren't even really reviews but are me just being a snob and swearing about how I loved it or hated it.

Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon - (4/5) - The concept is fantastic, the execution is moderately flawed. This may be the most (maybe the only) intelligent film to fit into the 'slasher' genre. Horror buffs will be able to see past the mediocre acting and sometimes awkward dialogue to find a surprisingly clever satire and tribute to classic slasher films.

Day of the Dead - (5/5) - The best of the trilogy.. or... quadilogy? Whatever. While it gets a bum rap from people who just want to see people fighting zombies, I think it is very progressive for the genre and one of the most profound in it's social commentary. Summarizing personalities between scientists, soldiers and civilians (similar to Akira).. making human ignorance the primary threat, the zombies themselves being secondary.. a Lord of the Flies feeling among the stranded survivors.. and an interesting 'humanity' angle with Bub, a zombie who is being trained to behave as a living human.. are all very original concepts to find in a zombie film. Day of the Dead transcends the horror and zombie genres.

Casino - (5/5) - My very favorite Scorsese movie and I believe his masterwork.

GoodFellas- (3/5) - I'm really not crazy about Goodfellas, and i'm a huge Scorsese nut. I don't even think it's anywhere among his best. It's a good movie but the main characters may be the least interesting characters. I found Ray Liotta and Lorraine Bracco to be somewhat annoying and lackluster. The interesting "mob life" story focuses mainly on the aesthetics and seems slightly pandering. Especially in contrast to 'Casino' or 'Raging Bull' which presents the setting secondary to the characters, making for a deeper, more emotionally attractive story.

Wallace & Gromit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit - (5/5) - Holy damn it, this is a great movie.

Chicken Run - (4/5) - This movie kind of came and went too quick for anybody to notice. It actually is one of the best stop motion films I've seen. It's rare to see a 'family' comedy that isn't so cheeseball that it makes you wince, while also not stooping to pop-culture references and 'this-ones-for-mom-and-dad' innuendo a la Shrek.

The Matrix - (3.5) - Revolutionary special effects that revived the American action movie for about 2 years.. combined with some philosophy crap to keep people from feeling too stupid from watching an action movie starring emotionless blocks of wood wearing leather and sunglasses... That's not just a shot at Reeves, by the way... They all kind of sucked. But a big-budget cyberpunk film will always get a thumbs up from me.

Hot Fuzz - (5/5) - I hate to say it, but even funnier than Shaun of the Dead. I wish every movie was made by these guys. Even pornos.

Freddy vs. Jason - (3/5) - You probably decided to love or hate this movie before you saw it. I know I did. It's not really a great movie by any stretch of the imagination, but if you were a kid who was waiting 10 years of his life for two un-killable killing machines to try and kill each other for 2 hours, then you and I should hang out sometime. It's all fan service, and fans of these franchises are idiots anyway. That being said, I goddamn love this movie. It's everything I ever dreamed it would be. And compared to the majority of the movies in the two franchises, it's actually very good.

Tim Burton's Corpse Bride - (2/5) - UGH!! UUUUGGGH!!!! What a disappointment. If we can learn anything from this, it's that Henry Selick deserves way more credit for Nightmare Before Christmas, and Tim Burton deserves much less. Yeah, Henry Selick. Look him up, simpleton.

The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou- (4/5) - Whoever didn't like this movie is garbage. Why can't comedy be this subtle more often? Oh yeah, people have taste for s**t.

Dead Alive (Braindead)- (5/5) - Peter Jackson's master work. An unprecedented bastardization of genre. A horror that goes for no scares and a comedy that deeply disturbs you. Big points for remaining the most relentlessly gory film in history, all with an almost Looney Tunes-style delivery!

Bad Taste- (5/5) - Holy crap, Lord of the Rings turned Peter Jackson into a piece of s**t. This is his first movie and remains the greatest no-budget movie of all time. I, for one, do not believe that production values = good movie, even though America generally disagrees. In fact, fans of Spider-Man and Pirate movies should probably keep away, as the production values won't be enough to equal entertainment in your tiny brain. Whereas the bizarre grossout humor, ugly-as-sin actors and overambitiously homemade sets, props, and costumes are the perfect combination for geniuses like myself.

Rocky - (5/5) - Perhaps the greatest sports film in history. It's a shame Stallone blew his proverbial load with it and went on to a career of garbage.

Rocky IV - (2/5) - Yeah, yeah. Ivan Drago is cool.. blah blah blah. Easily the worst of the series. The majority of the film is irrelevant scenes put to songs that last way too long. Even if other Rockys had crappy stories, at least they had A story, not like this mess which can't decide what it's about. But hey, it's still Rocky...

Garfield - The Movie - (1/5) - I didn't last 15 minutes...

Free Willy - (1/5) - I hated that short period of time where they would put out movies starring little kids with shaggy hair and jean jackets, and they almost always had divorced parents and were named "Jessie". So annoying, even when I was a kid it was annoying!

The Dress Code - (0.5/5) - This might be my least favorite movie of all time. Either this or High Fidelity.

Waterworld - (4/5) - Why did everyone hate this movie again?

Mortal Kombat - (3/5) - Probably the best video game movie.. although that still isn't saying much.

Bride of Chucky - (2/5) - I've got a huge hard on for Jennifer Tilly.. but not quite enough to watch this all the way through.

Miss Congeniality 2: Armed and Fabulous - (5/5) - I've never seen it, nor do I plan to. But god damn it, that is the most brilliantly stupid movie title in history!

A Nightmare on Elm Street 2 - Freddy's Revenge - (1/5) - The worst of the series. In a series whose only merits are violent deaths and cheesy one-liners, Freddy 2 delivers few-to-none of each.

The Nightmare Before Christmas - (4.5/5) - I would have given this movie 5 stars, but ever since it's become the frontman for Hot Topic culture, I don't even feel right saying that I liked it. It deserves 5, but I have to make sure people know i'm not an awkward 14 year-old Skinny Puppy fan so 4.5.

Batman - The Movie - (4/5) - Still the best Batman movie. "Some days you just can't get rid of a bomb!"

Falling Down - (3/5) - Probably won't blow your mind. But it's extremely fun watching a man crack and do pretty much whatever he wants to do for 2 hours.

Meet the Feebles- (3/5) - Flawed in many ways, but there's an odd appeal in seeing puppets do just about everything that a puppet should never do.

The Ring - (2/5) - If this movie scared you, you should be ashamed. Also, I wish horror was more than creepy special effects anymore. My inner snob wants me to tell you that the japanese original was better, but I never saw it. This is a bad review.

Titanic - (2.5/5) - The ultimate middle of the road film. Not bad enough to be bad, not good enough to be good. Just lowest-common-denominator enough to be the biggest box office smash in history.

Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl - (2/5) - I've seen this movie twice and I swear I can't remember what it's about or why it was so popular. Pirates run away from special effects for 2 hours. I suppose kids would love it.

White Chicks - (1/5) - Will the Wayans Brothers ever do anything worth your time?

Ocean's Twelve - (1/5) - Holy s**t, I sat through this whole movie and I have no idea what it's about. I couldn't get past the annoying oversaturated reds and greens in EVERY F**KING SCENE. Same thing goes on in the movie Swordfish. I guess it's supposed to be edgy-looking or something. The lighting guy should be shot.

Scary Movie - (1/5) - Stupid. Not like funny stupid, just annoying stupid. 90% dick and fart jokes, 10% actual parody.

[Blood-Pigggy]

The Batman movie is only considered to the be the best because the fans who want to be babied with their series can't handle that Batman Begins is a far better movie with way superior acting.

The accuracy of the film is secondary to its quality really, and Tim Burton's Batman had the most annoying Bruce Wayne ever.

[Eva02Soul]

I like Christian Bale's Bruce Wayne, but his actual Batman wasn't the best. I liked Michael Keaton's batman, but found him an annoying Bruce Wayne. Maybe we should have Christian Keaton in the next film

[zafo999]

I'll have you know sir that the Batman movie I was talking about refers to the ridiculous 1966 Adam West one. The only one that just accepts the fact that a man wearing pointy bat ears is just silly.

[Lulu_Jane]

I actually really liked the Adam West movie version. It's one of the funniest and campiest things ever committed to celluloid.

Cat Woman's special cat-shaped transmitter with the flashing eyes is hysterical.

Then again, I though that Teenagers From Outer Space was utterly awesome, so who am I to judge :D

[zafo999]

I still laugh like a moron at some of the jokes. Like the anti-shark spray, or the freeze-dried United Nations.

[Blood-Pigggy]

PUT DATES ON YOUR MOVIE REVIEWS JAUN.

[gufu1992]

And pictures... evereone loves the pictures!

[_r.u.s.s.]

no, cause with pictures and long text on the same page people look on the picture and scroll away :P

[zafo999]

And besides, anybody who's anybody knows the difference between "Batman" and "Batman - The Movie".

[Mighty Midget]

Ok, I guess I should write a review of "Naked Lunch" by David Cronenberg (1991), but quite frankly, it's impossible. I couldn't make anything out of it, it was just confusing. Dark as my coffee and totally insane. It is based on a novel by the same name written by William S. Burroughs, and is quasi/semi-biographic, revolving around Burroughs' life as a drug user and an episode where he shot and killed his wife. Bug extermination powder, bug extermination power abuse, bugs, bug typewriters, people turning into bugs, conspiracies plotted by bugs, phychosises, madness, murder... You get the picture? I don't. Someone, anyone, help! I really don't know if it was just a very bad dream or if I actually saw this movie. Well, I do know, but I guess that is the only thing one can say about this flick. Recommended? Good? Bad? I haven't got a clue what it was I saw, so I can't recommend you in any direction. There you have it, boys and girls, a movie bound to confuse you permanently silly.

Personal opinion: I need therapy, and a lot of nice thoughts to fill my head with.

[dosraider]

*Intermezzo*

If one would like to watch a movie that's so bad it becomes good, Dark Star (1974) is the one you want.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0069945/

*/Intermezzo*
They have a trailer too@imbd. Covers only 0.1% of the movie.

[Lulu_Jane]

What!? You didn't enjoy Naked Lunch? Mighty, I am shocked and appalled LOL

[Eva02Soul]

Naked Lunch was fantastic. It's a biography on Burroughs without ever calling itself such, and there are a couple of clues thrown in there if you want to believe that he never left his home. However, the movie is almost completely open to interpretation, and it's style is a lot like Burrough's books.

[Lulu_Jane]

His book Junky hurt my head.

That is all :D

[chumloofah]

Batman: The Movie and Day of the Dead the best in their respective series!?
*pulls out the lobotomy spoon*
Adam West plays it pretty hilariously, but... that can't be right, my little droogies.
Day of the Dead just doesn't have the old desperate to survive vibe of the first two.
Oh, and michael keaton isn't a good batman (get a grip!).
He's short, he's slight and he just doesn't have what christian bale has.
Height and a batman physique!
And the only bats since the West Man to be able to move his neck.

Come on, people!
Keaton was at least 50% rubber suit!

[zafo999]

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(chumloofah @ Oct 30 2007, 02:58 AM) 317749</div>
Batman: The Movie and Day of the Dead the best in their respective series!?
*pulls out the lobotomy spoon*
Adam West plays it pretty hilariously, but... that can't be right, my little droogies.
Day of the Dead just doesn't have the old desperate to survive vibe of the first two.
Oh, and michael keaton isn't a good batman (get a grip!).
He's short, he's slight and he just doesn't have what christian bale has.
Height and a batman physique!
And the only bats since the West Man to be able to move his neck.

Come on, people!
Keaton was at least 50% rubber suit!
[/b]

The reason I put Day of the Dead above the others is because I thought it took the zombie genre somewhere besides a group of survivors surviving. That's what every other zombie movie in the world does and they usually stop there. As for Batman.. I really can't take a real life guy in pointy ears seriously, so unless it's a comedy, most live action superhero movies come off as just too silly.

@Mighty: I'm totally with you on that review! I love Cronenberg movies, but I always feel confused and dirty after watching them!

[chumloofah]

Dunno, fella.
I've never seen a delivery quite like dawn of the dead (including the terrible remake movie, dawn of the dead), and it might be relevant that night of the living dead set the trend.
And I suppose if you don't dig batman you can just wait for the chief o'hara to rescue you when threatened by suffocation in vats of custard and whatnot ^_^

[Blood-Pigggy]

Dawn of Teh Cawk, leel.

[zafo999]

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(chumloofah @ Nov 5 2007, 02:19 AM) 318288</div>
Dunno, fella.
I've never seen a delivery quite like dawn of the dead (including the terrible remake movie, dawn of the dead), and it might be relevant that night of the living dead set the trend.
And I suppose if you don't dig batman you can just wait for the chief o'hara to rescue you when threatened by suffocation in vats of custard and whatnot ^_^
[/b]

I think Batman's alright. My favorite comic book of all time is Dark Knight Returns. Despite the utter lack of custard and George Clooney or whatever. :ok:

[chumloofah]

George Clooney... :wallbash:
You know, he actually based his performance on the idea that Batman really shouldn't be so tortured.
Him being a millionaire, he should be more upbeat.
What a chump!

[Mighty Midget]

Atom Age Vampire
(Seddok, l'erede di Satana)

http://i189.photobucket.com/albums/z193/WhoCaresWho/vlcsnap-4049618.png

(Horror, Anton Giulio Majano, It (USA dubbed version), 1960, b/w)

A strip dancer gets horribly disfigured in a car accident and wants to end it all. A scientist loner wants her as a test subject in a research project where dead tissue comes to life again, but with a hefty price attached. See, the serum he is using was derived from an earlier version of this serum, and this beta version turned the patient into a ferocious beast. Ok, we get it... But there's more: He falls in love with this woman and turns himself into a beast so that he can kill other women as a step in the treatment. Did this make any sense? Not the slightest and still, there you have it.
If you want a vampire that scares the living daylight out of you, look elsewhere. If you want a vampire at all, look elsewhere. There are no vampires in this movie. There is this Dr. Jekyl & Mr. Hyde theme, the Werewolf theme, the mad scientist theme, but no vampires.
The filming is, I don't know, I'm sort of lost for words, abysmal at best, the editing will confuse you to the point where it becomes either a headache or a bizarre joke. Scenes are interrupted by completly unrelated scenes, the car you see on the screen is not the car you think it is and soon drives off out of the picture where it belongs, the scenes are cut short here and there making you wonder if you passed out for a few seconds, and don't get me started on the acting, or the dubbing. Please, I just want to forget I saw and heard this. Seriously. At least, until the next time I watch this.

Personal opinion: This movie is about insanity and madness: The scientist is barking mad, the assistants are all barking mad, the script writer was barking mad, the editor was barking mad, the director was barking mad and the one responsible for hireing the actors was probably locked up for good at the funny farm after this movie. I tell you, there is nothing in this movie that can save it from relentless scorn and humiliation. Unless you can enjoy utter crap (and I did laugh out loud like a madman coz of the acting and the absolutely most horrendous dubbing I have ever heard), this is definitely not the movie for you.

[Mighty Midget]

Train To Hell
(Night Train To Venice)

http://i189.photobucket.com/albums/z193/WhoCaresWho/vlcsnap-475433.png

(Genre? I haven't got a clue. Carlo U. Quinterio, GER, 1993, colour)

Why a picture of Venice? Why not. I tried to find a frame that would in some way sum up this flick, but there weren't any. I'll try to explain. Hugh Grant is a reporter who has written a book on neo-nazism, and is called to Venice to meet with a publishing house. He gets on the train and off he goes. Well, it could be that simple but: Onboard is also a mysterious stranger who frankly doesn't do much other that go around with his mystical sneering grin, looking as scary as he can... oh, and he happens to have some sort of magical abilities... and a cane... with a silver demon's head on top. Did I mention he stares a lot? Ok, onboard is also a pack of neo-nazis, an actress and her little daughter. There are all these other characters there, but what purpose they serve here is beyond me. We get introduced to characters who could have been interesting if they didn't just disappear from the script and the film. Anyhow...
Grant and Mother falls in love, gets to Venice where Grant is chased by the same neo-nazis, all while the stranger sneaks around looking mysterious... while staring... and smirking. The chase doesn't last long though and suddenly the daughter takes a dive from the balcony high above, gets rescued by Grant and everyone is happy. The End. I'm serious. There is absolutely no plot here. None and nada. All we have are frames of extremly varied quality, from the grainy-you-can-barely-make-out-what-you're-looking-at, to semi decent frames.
More tech talk. Holy cow! Scenes are constantly interrupted by other scenes of no relevancy, dialogues have rarely anything to do with anything interesting, and the lack of plot, rhyme or reason is just incredible.
This film is, come to think of it, more than just slightly annoying. The characters who vanish without a trace out of the (assuming there actually is one) story. Where did they go? What happened to them? No explaination given as to why they were introduced in the first place or why the sudden lack of screen-time. The Starer? Who is he? What is he after? Why can't he stop staring? No answers. What's with the book? Absolutely no clues given. I ended up asking the fundamental question, what does this movie want? No answers whatsoever. I came up with the only possible answer, although it's still guesswork from me. I choose to believe this flick has one purpose: To show Hugh and Tahnee Welsh (who the heck is Tahnee Welsh anyway) hit the sack together, over and over again... and to show how much a starer Malcolm McDowell is.

I am looking for more things to say, but there really isn't all that much that can be said, considering the movie is as empty and directionless as a null vector.

Personal opinion: I honestly can't tell if this is art on a level far beyond my meager comprehension or if it is just a failure so huge I still can't comprehend. Truth, the first 20 minutes were excruciatingly dull and confusing, but after I chose to just don't give a damn, it turned into a nightmare-ish sort of thing. If they had remembered to include Hugh waking up, bathing in sweat, screaming, then it would have made some sense.

[Mighty Midget]

Bride Of Frankenstein

http://i189.photobucket.com/albums/z193/WhoCaresWho/vlcsnap-529662.png

(Horror, James Whale, USA, 1935, b/w)

Frankenstein and his Monster. Who haven't heard of that dynamic duo? Only this time with a twist. See, as the movie starts, Mary Shelley is enjoying the company of two gentlemen. One of these gentlemen, a certain Lord Byron, is overly, nay, theatrically enthustiastic over Shelley's book, Frankenstein. She then lets out the big secret: But it didn't end there.....

Frankenstein is approaced by a raving loony doctor Pretorius who, beside from experimenting himself with the secret of life, also has a love for even more outrageously exaggerated postures and gestures than Lord Byron. He has not created one monster, in fact he hasn't created any monster at all. What he has created, made me laugh and giggle for 10 minutes. Seriously, you folks need to see his Creatures and their behaviour to believe this. Not only is doctor Pretentious raving mad, but he is also looking for ways to make an extremly hesitant, and only slightly less exaggerating actor/Frankie, talk. In short, Pretentious wants Frankie's secrets and partnership. Meanwhile, the Monster, which isn't even half-dead, only ex-dead, is running his own little riot around the countryside and is continuously chased by the pitchforkwielding villagers, but is soon turned into a staggering alcoholic by Pretentious and used against Frankie. Pretentious' goal? To create, with the aid of Frankie, a female monster, a bride for The Monster.
Ok, enough of ruining the film for you guys. Let's move on with the other stuff. Once again Boris Karloff is The Monster and he is the Monster in my book and he always will be. Trouble is, in this flick, which at points leans slightly towards pure comedy and farce, he is (like every other character) so extremly dramatic it becomes rather amusingly silly. Another problem is that the makers of this film obviously wanted the poor Monster to become even more heartbreaking than in the first Frankenstein movie. He even learns a few phrases for pete's sake, grunted/roared out in a childish-cute way so we can not help feeling his clumsy, throatseeking hands are instead reaching for and melting our hearts, Truth is, sometimes it did work pretty well, but too many times did his cute factor turn the movie towards kitch comedy. Look out for the scene with the sheppardess and her lamb and if you're not guffawing over this incredible and bold change of mood, then you must surely be made of reanimated flesh and rotten brains.
Another thing that cannot be avoided mentioned, is the many similarities to the comedy "Young Frankenstein" by Mel Brooks, which isn't strange at all concidering Brooks made a comedy based on both Frankenstein and this movie. You'll find the blind hermit is here and even a Frau Blücher is somewhat here, even the Lady With The Hairdo is here. Mind you, BoF is not a comedy, but with Brooks' faithful and accurate remakes of scene after scene in mind, I couldn't help giggle uncontrollably over and over again.
One thing that struck me pretty soon was how good (really, I mean it, some of them are really good) the special effects are. The Creatures and how they interacted with Pretorius actually made me quite impressed. On the other hand, the superimposed images of people on the tower near the end were so bad I had to stop the movie and rewind to make sure they really were that bad. And they were. It is also obvious they never set foot outside the studio when filming this. No matter how many trees, or waterfalls, or rock-ish formations, they could just as well have showed us the exit sign on the wall behind the scenery. Is this a bad thing? Not at all, and I'm not being sarcastic or ironic. It does work pretty damn well, as long as you remember you're dealing with a movie from 1935.

Personal opinion: Ok, all fun and comparisons to Young Frankenstein aside. This is a pretty damn good movie. One thing is Karloff, I don't care if The Monster wears a face cream mask and ballet shoes, if it's Karloff, then it's the Monster. Period.
Another thing is the twist. If the movie was made today, I would have cut it to shreds and burnt the director, but I will accept the twist because they made it before the clichès became the standard and because they never make a looong and unpleasantly unsurprising point out of this being the bride of the Monster (yes, the title is slightly misleading here, something Mrs Frankenstein surely would be the first to appreciate). Actually, the Bride and the Monster meeting took the movie around a new, unexpected corner. I can only say I liked the ending of this one. I won't tell you any more of what happens, just watch it. Recommended!

[Krustacean]

They Live, anyone?